5 Leadership Questions Podcast on Church Leadership with Todd Adkins and Dan Iten

Every leader faces criticism. Well, if they’re actually leading they do. But how can they respond well, learn what they should, and reject what is unhelpful? When does a leader know when to fight back and exert authority over critics? That’s what we discuss in this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast. Eric Geiger joins Todd and I to talk constructive vs. destructive criticism, the difference between feedback and criticism, and how to respond well in a digital age when everything goes public and trolls abound. We ask the following questions.

* Can a leader avoid criticism?

* How do you balance listening to critics and learning from them vs. tuning them out?

* At what point does criticism stop being constructive and turn divisive within in an organization?

* How do you handle consistent critics within your organization or team?

* How can leaders handle the massive growth in criticism (trolls) because of the social/digital space?

Best Quotes

“If you’re doing anything worth doing you’re going to run into criticism.”

“You cannot be a people pleaser and a leader.”

“There’s a difference between serving people and being at the mercy of a plethora of different opinions.”

“It’s really important to take a step back and look whenever you’re criticized and ask ‘what can I learn from this?’”

“Even if it’s painful there still is growing that happens in the midst of criticism.”

“Is the criticism based on objective truth or subjective opinion?”

“You need critics in you’re life if you’re going to grow.”

“Criticism is focused on what happened. Coaching is forward looking.”

“Come to my face and let’s talk about it like grown ups. Be transparent and be a leader.”

“Criticism of decision is one thing. Criticism of character is another. That is a cancer in an organization.”

“Your name, your character, is so critical that if you lose that you lose everything.”

“I’m all about identifying problems, but I for sure want to hear about those from people who want to jump on solving them.”

“We don’t need a bunch of internal consultants who are just going to point out problems. We need people who are going to attack and bring solutions.”

“I want to invite people to not be on the team if they’re just so miserable that they’re constantly critiquing.”

“You are going to painfully reap the results of the culture of criticism you create with your own toxic leadership.”

“The things that you reprimand and celebrate are one of the easiest ways to embed whatever you want in a culture.”

“Suffer not a troll according to his folly.”

“On social media, there are many people you engage where just can’t win.”

“Whatever your response to criticism is in person tends to get amplified on social media.”

“Really put stock in criticism from people who know you, not from people who criticize you online.”

Recommended Resources

5 Signs It is Time to Give Up with a Critic – Eric Geiger

How to Respond to Criticism – Rainer on Leadership Podcast

How Leader Respond to Written Criticisms – Thom Rainer

The Positive Side of Receiving Criticism – Thom Rainer

Every leader faces criticism. Well, if they’re actually leading they do. But how can they respond well, learn what they should, and reject what is unhelpful? When does a leader know when to fight back and exert authority over critics? That’s what we discuss in this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast. Eric Geiger joins Todd and I to talk constructive vs. destructive criticism, the difference between feedback and criticism, and how to respond well in a digital age when everything goes public and trolls abound. We ask the following questions.

* Can a leader avoid criticism?

* How do you balance listening to critics and learning from them vs. tuning them out?

* At what point does criticism stop being constructive and turn divisive within in an organization?

* How do you handle consistent critics within your organization or team?

* How can leaders handle the massive growth in criticism (trolls) because of the social/digital space?

Best Quotes

“If you’re doing anything worth doing you’re going to run into criticism.”

“You cannot be a people pleaser and a leader.”

“There’s a difference between serving people and being at the mercy of a plethora of different opinions.”

“It’s really important to take a step back and look whenever you’re criticized and ask ‘what can I learn from this?’”

“Even if it’s painful there still is growing that happens in the midst of criticism.”

“Is the criticism based on objective truth or subjective opinion?”

“You need critics in you’re life if you’re going to grow.”

“Criticism is focused on what happened. Coaching is forward looking.”

“Come to my face and let’s talk about it like grown ups. Be transparent and be a leader.”

“Criticism of decision is one thing. Criticism of character is another. That is a cancer in an organization.”

“Your name, your character, is so critical that if you lose that you lose everything.”

“I’m all about identifying problems, but I for sure want to hear about those from people who want to jump on solving them.”

“We don’t need a bunch of internal consultants who are just going to point out problems. We need people who are going to attack and bring solutions.”

“I want to invite people to not be on the team if they’re just so miserable that they’re constantly critiquing.”

“You are going to painfully reap the results of the culture of criticism you create with your own toxic leadership.”

“The things that you reprimand and celebrate are one of the easiest ways to embed whatever you want in a culture.”

“Suffer not a troll according to his folly.”

“On social media, there are many people you engage where just can’t win.”

“Whatever your response to criticism is in person tends to get amplified on social media.”

“Really put stock in criticism from people who know you, not from people who criticize you online.”

Recommended Resources

5 Signs It is Time to Give Up with a Critic – Eric Geiger

How to Respond to Criticism – Rainer on Leadership Podcast

How Leader Respond to Written Criticisms – Thom Rainer

The Positive Side of Receiving Criticism – Thom Rainer

Derwin Gray is the founding and lead pastor of Transformation Church in North Carolina. He is a passionate speaker and has authored a number of books including The High Definition Leader: Building Multiethnic Churches in a Multiethnic World. Derwin has served on the advisory council for Lifeway’s leadership development team so Todd Adkins and I have gotten to now him quite well and consider him a friend. We love the way he attacks growth, discipleship, and leadership just like he used to attack running backs as an NFL linebacker. Our conversation about leading multiethnic churches, learning humility, and leading a family was insightful and lively. You will appreciate his candor and passion in this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions Podcast.

Best Quotes

“People don’t stop being White, Black, Asian, or Latino. You become redeemed in your ethnicity. And together we reflect Jesus more.”

“The more a church grows the more complex it becomes, so systems and processes and communications are very important – but also the orientation and re-teaching of people we bring on our team.”

“If they’re believers they don’t go to church; they are the church.”

“It’s not about making the weekend fun, it’s about an identity that we come together to celebrate as God’s people then scatter to be His missionaries.”

“When I go to conferences I’m gonna learn pretty much how to do a suburban seeker-type church.”

“I define leadership as embodying what you want other people to become.”

“I’m not quite sure that the American evangelical model of leadership is Jesus’s model of leadership.”

“When I blow it the greatest thing I can do as a leader is go to them and say ‘I blew it. Will you forgive me?’”

“My wife is my most important ministry.”

“For church leaders, if you’re not willing to apologize when you screw up you’re teaching your kids that there’s no grace and that there’s no forgiveness.”

“Leadership often looks more like a CEO than a shepherd. God calls us in the church to be shepherds, not celebrity CEOs.”

“When our words don’t match what we’re actually living that’s when burnout happens, affairs, and just unhealthy leadership.”

“The world was ok before Derwin Gray was born. Jesus wasn’t biting his nails.”

“Slow down and marinate in the deep, deep love of Jesus and let that minister to the hurts and wounds you don’t even know you have yet.”

“Multi-generational cross-pollination is so, so important for the church.”

“If a guy wants to rock skinnies, that’s cool. Just make sure your heart is filled with grace and humility and you don’t pass out from the jeans being too tight.”

Recommended Resources

The High Definition Leader by Derwin Gray

Limitless Life by Derwin Gray

A Fellowship of Differents Scott McKnight

Jesus: A Theography by Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola

The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Pete Scazzero

Derwin Gray is the founding and lead pastor of Transformation Church in North Carolina. He is a passionate speaker and has authored a number of books including The High Definition Leader: Building Multiethnic Churches in a Multiethnic World. Derwin has served on the advisory council for Lifeway’s leadership development team so Todd Adkins and I have gotten to now him quite well and consider him a friend. We love the way he attacks growth, discipleship, and leadership just like he used to attack running backs as an NFL linebacker. Our conversation about leading multiethnic churches, learning humility, and leading a family was insightful and lively. You will appreciate his candor and passion in this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions Podcast.

Best Quotes

“People don’t stop being White, Black, Asian, or Latino. You become redeemed in your ethnicity. And together we reflect Jesus more.”

“The more a church grows the more complex it becomes, so systems and processes and communications are very important – but also the orientation and re-teaching of people we bring on our team.”

“If they’re believers they don’t go to church; they are the church.”

“It’s not about making the weekend fun, it’s about an identity that we come together to celebrate as God’s people then scatter to be His missionaries.”

“When I go to conferences I’m gonna learn pretty much how to do a suburban seeker-type church.”

“I define leadership as embodying what you want other people to become.”

“I’m not quite sure that the American evangelical model of leadership is Jesus’s model of leadership.”

“When I blow it the greatest thing I can do as a leader is go to them and say ‘I blew it. Will you forgive me?’”

“My wife is my most important ministry.”

“For church leaders, if you’re not willing to apologize when you screw up you’re teaching your kids that there’s no grace and that there’s no forgiveness.”

“Leadership often looks more like a CEO than a shepherd. God calls us in the church to be shepherds, not celebrity CEOs.”

“When our words don’t match what we’re actually living that’s when burnout happens, affairs, and just unhealthy leadership.”

“The world was ok before Derwin Gray was born. Jesus wasn’t biting his nails.”

“Slow down and marinate in the deep, deep love of Jesus and let that minister to the hurts and wounds you don’t even know you have yet.”

“Multi-generational cross-pollination is so, so important for the church.”

“If a guy wants to rock skinnies, that’s cool. Just make sure your heart is filled with grace and humility and you don’t pass out from the jeans being too tight.”

Recommended Resources

The High Definition Leader by Derwin Gray

Limitless Life by Derwin Gray

A Fellowship of Differents Scott McKnight

Jesus: A Theography by Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola

The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Pete Scazzero

Derwin Gray is the founding and lead pastor of Transformation Church in North Carolina. He is a passionate speaker and has authored a number of books including The High Definition Leader: Building Multiethnic Churches in a Multiethnic World. Derwin has served on the advisory council for Lifeway’s leadership development team so Todd Adkins and I have gotten to now him quite well and consider him a friend. We love the way he attacks growth, discipleship, and leadership just like he used to attack running backs as an NFL linebacker. Our conversation about leading multiethnic churches, learning humility, and leading a family was insightful and lively. You will appreciate his candor and passion in this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions Podcast.

Best Quotes

“People don’t stop being White, Black, Asian, or Latino. You become redeemed in your ethnicity. And together we reflect Jesus more.”

“The more a church grows the more complex it becomes, so systems and processes and communications are very important – but also the orientation and re-teaching of people we bring on our team.”

“If they’re believers they don’t go to church; they are the church.”

“It’s not about making the weekend fun, it’s about an identity that we come together to celebrate as God’s people then scatter to be His missionaries.”

“When I go to conferences I’m gonna learn pretty much how to do a suburban seeker-type church.”

“I define leadership as embodying what you want other people to become.”

“I’m not quite sure that the American evangelical model of leadership is Jesus’s model of leadership.”

“When I blow it the greatest thing I can do as a leader is go to them and say ‘I blew it. Will you forgive me?’”

“My wife is my most important ministry.”

“For church leaders, if you’re not willing to apologize when you screw up you’re teaching your kids that there’s no grace and that there’s no forgiveness.”

“Leadership often looks more like a CEO than a shepherd. God calls us in the church to be shepherds, not celebrity CEOs.”

“When our words don’t match what we’re actually living that’s when burnout happens, affairs, and just unhealthy leadership.”

“The world was ok before Derwin Gray was born. Jesus wasn’t biting his nails.”

“Slow down and marinate in the deep, deep love of Jesus and let that minister to the hurts and wounds you don’t even know you have yet.”

“Multi-generational cross-pollination is so, so important for the church.”

“If a guy wants to rock skinnies, that’s cool. Just make sure your heart is filled with grace and humility and you don’t pass out from the jeans being too tight.”

Recommended Resources

The High Definition Leader by Derwin Gray

Limitless Life by Derwin Gray

A Fellowship of Differents Scott McKnight

Jesus: A Theography by Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola

The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Pete Scazzero

Business travel is a necessary evil. It is taxing, tiring, and often annoying, but we have to do it regularly and make the best of it. In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins, Daniel Im, and I discuss how to be an expert business traveler. We talk practical tips and the occasional horror story. You will definitely come away with an idea or two to make your next trip less awful.

Best Quotes

“One of my biggest frustrations is other people.”

“Patience is key.”

“If you can, don’t check a bag.”

“Time wise, don’t cut it close.”

“That’s not waiting time; that’s free time to get stuff done.”

“Don’t just sit in your hotel room; hotel rooms just suck the life out of you.”

“Try to stay in the same hotel chain.”

“Just smile and say ‘hello’.”

Recommended Resources

Noisli

Deep Calm

TSA Pre-Check

Business travel is a necessary evil. It is taxing, tiring, and often annoying, but we have to do it regularly and make the best of it. In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins, Daniel Im, and I discuss how to be an expert business traveler. We talk practical tips and the occasional horror story. You will definitely come away with an idea or two to make your next trip less awful.

Best Quotes

“One of my biggest frustrations is other people.”

“Patience is key.”

“If you can, don’t check a bag.”

“Time wise, don’t cut it close.”

“That’s not waiting time; that’s free time to get stuff done.”

“Don’t just sit in your hotel room; hotel rooms just suck the life out of you.”

“Try to stay in the same hotel chain.”

“Just smile and say ‘hello’.”

Recommended Resources

Noisli

Deep Calm

TSA Pre-Check

Business travel is a necessary evil. It is taxing, tiring, and often annoying, but we have to do it regularly and make the best of it. In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins, Daniel Im, and I discuss how to be an expert business traveler. We talk practical tips and the occasional horror story. You will definitely come away with an idea or two to make your next trip less awful.

Best Quotes

“One of my biggest frustrations is other people.”

“Patience is key.”

“If you can, don’t check a bag.”

“Time wise, don’t cut it close.”

“That’s not waiting time; that’s free time to get stuff done.”

“Don’t just sit in your hotel room; hotel rooms just suck the life out of you.”

“Try to stay in the same hotel chain.”

“Just smile and say ‘hello’.”

Recommended Resources

Noisli

Deep Calm

TSA Pre-Check

In this episode of The 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and I talk with Matt Perman, the author of What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done. He is a speaker and consultant and formerly oversaw the development of Desiring God’s web ministry. Matt is passionate about productivity and theology, two things that aren’t often blended, but that’s what he does. He desires to help leaders glorify God and serve others through the methods and means by which they accomplish their work. IMatt is insightful and bright, and the conversation was excellent.

Best Quotes

“Reading Marcus Buckingham is like reading John Piper, except he’s not theological.”

“Don’t separate [productivity] from your theological background. Think about in a gospel-centered way, not a secular way.”

“The chief purpose behind our productivity is to do good for others.”

“The gospel says be others-centered.”

“Wouldn’t it be neat if, as Christians, we applied that time he have freed up to things like the advance of the gospel and large global problems.”

“Instead of the work/leisure dichotomy there’s a purpose to everything and everything has its place. It’s much more fulfilling.”

“If we’re just in an echo chamber than we’re just reproducing the same sets of problems.”

“Leaders should lead from purpose and values rather than command and control.”

“The role of the leader is not to exert himself as much as possible; it’s to actually affirm the other person’s freedom and protect its scope.”

“Because people are made in the image of God they always need be treated with respect, and part of that is letting them be heard.”

“Raising my kids is, in major part, preparing them to be leaders when they grow up.”

“If you have a set of good principles and you’re grounded in the Bible . . .then you can navigate unknown territory and you can find your way because you have a compass even though you don’t have a map.”

Recommended Resources

Matt’s Blog

What’s Best Next by Matt Perman

Help My Unbelief by Barnabas Piper

The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

Getting Things Done by David Allen

Built to Last by Jim Collins

Principle Centered Leadership by Stephen Covey

First Things First by Stephen Covey