5 Minute Bible Study: Find out we aren't as bad as we think because God is better than we know.

Well, that's a good question. I'd have a nose reduction! Botox to tighten up my aging face. I refuse to go without makeup because I'm way too insecure. And I think a LOT about what I wear. I'm always nervous what people think when they see me - I want to them to see me as pretty, classy...I want Ted to still think I'm beautiful or sexy or whatever...to not grow tired of me and need something new and fresh. I would do whatever it would take to eliminate my cellulite. Maybe some lip filler? I have really thin lips...almost non existent. Even workout gear, I want new and fresh and stuff that makes me look good if I'm out and about. I think about it way too often although, miraculously, less than I used to. What would you change? Would it be enough?

I once heard Ann Voskamp say that the reason that we worry is because we don't think God is enough for our situation - or something like that. That is so true for me. I feel like God needs a micro manager because he's busy or tired. And I'm a great micromanager. Ask my kids. And Ted. But that's a lot of pressure to take on ourselves - to take on the responsibility of guaranteeing we get through each day ok. And yet, as crazy as it sounds, every night I have trouble falling asleep or panic wakes me up and I can't shut my brain off. 

I DO think that if we believed that God loved us and truly only gives us exactly and all that we need, that we'd be more carefree. So I find it annoying that doubt creeps in...and obviously doubt creeps in because just 30 minutes ago I was worrying about money. So go ahead and listen but then do as I say...do as God says, and NOT as I do!!!

I like to buy new clothes so that Ted still thinks I'm pretty. I feel like a million bucks when I find something. But after I wear it once, it's old. So now I need something else. Same with workout clothes...I want to feel fresh and new so I buy a new set of gear, but after one workout, it isn't as exciting. It's now old. I do this with things for my house, vacations, etc. Always chasing something else to feel new and exciting. But it never lasts. Ever. Do you do the same thing? What is your weakness?

Again, I often want people to see my suffering, or my sacrifice...I want them to see me being "humble" LOL! Can we let that go and be satisfied in what God thinks of us?

I can get caught up in my emotions, my depression, my fears, my stresses, things I think I need to do that day...It can weigh heavy on me. A few months ago I started doing this one thing and, though my days are far from perfect, I find it has helped me remember what matters. I need to do it everyday but I don't. I rush my mornings. I could probably pause and do it a few times each day. But for me, it has been a huge help for me mentally. 

Ted and I have tried to pray together but I feel so awkward and uncomfortable. I'm embarrassed to have him hear me. But I think I can feel the same when it is just God and me. A big, painful silence because I have no idea what to say to him.

I prefer an audience. I prefer people to see me being nice or kind so that it is money in the bank for when I do something wrong. I need to earn people liking me so I need them to see it. THAT is my struggle. I chase my worth like that...validation. Anyone else struggle with me????

I prefer an audience. I prefer people to see me being nice or kind so that it is money in the bank for when I do something wrong. I need to earn people liking me so I need them to see it. THAT is my struggle. I chase my worth like that...validation. Anyone else struggle with me????

Holy crap. And now I have to love my enemies? No promises. Yep, that's right. If this is who God is, I'm realizing very quickly that I don't measure up. Because I know how the story ends, I'm looking forward to get to the 'grace' component of Matthew but I'm getting really clear on the differences between myself and Jesus, FYI.

I get so sick of my kids complaining that I'm not being fair with them and their siblings. But it affects me so I'm always trying to fix it and make it fair. I can grumble about them, but I actually do the same thing. That's the cause of my anger and impatience...when I feel that I'm not getting what is fair. I don't want to be duped or taken advantage of. But what if I was able to let that go? To stop the fight for fair? For equal?