The Niall Boylan Podcast (They Told Me To Shut Up)

#566 Still Love Him… But Not In Love: What Now?


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On today’s episode, Niall dives into one of the most emotionally charged dilemmas we’ve ever received. A 42-year-old mother of three has written in with a heartbreaking confession: she loves her 58-year-old husband as a partner and father, but she’s no longer in love with him. As he has aged and become less fit, she’s found herself feeling less and less attracted to him — something she admits with guilt and confusion.

She’s torn between two worlds:

#566 Still Love Hi But Not In Love: What Now?

Her own happiness, with friends telling her she’s still young enough to start over and find passion again.

Her children, all under 15, whose stability and wellbeing she wants to protect.

Is fading attraction enough to justify leaving a long-term marriage? Is “still loving him” but not being “in love” a reason to stay? And how much should children’s needs weigh against a parent’s emotional life?

Niall opens the lines to callers who bring a wide range of perspectives:

🔹 The romantics, who argue that chemistry and attraction matter — and life is too short to deny yourself love.

🔹 The traditionalists, who say marriage is about commitment, phases, and riding out the storms — not chasing youthful excitement.

🔹 The realists, who believe attraction naturally changes and that relationships can be rebuilt with effort and honesty.

🔹 The parents, who say the kids’ stability must come first — and breaking up the family could do long-term harm.

🔹 Those who’ve been there, sharing stories of staying… and others of leaving.

🔹 And the brutally honest, who say that attraction is a non-negotiable foundation of a relationship.

It’s raw, emotional, and thought-provoking — a conversation about aging, desire, family, and the hard choices people face behind closed doors.

Join Niall as he unpacks this dilemma with listeners from every walk of life, offering compassion, debate, and a few surprises along the way.

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The Niall Boylan Podcast (They Told Me To Shut Up)By Niall Boylan

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