Wizards! Talking lions! Armies of demons! Dudes just straight getting wrecked in the face! Truly it can be said, Theophiloi: this one has it all. Join us as we recount the lives and conduct of the holy women in their swashbuckling adventure that was definitely not written by Mr. Paul. Also, we talk about what Jesus would be like if He was in Smash Bros., which takes up about fifteen minutes and is basically the entire premise of this show.

Topics of Discussion: Super Smash Son of Man, the Yoshi of Jesus, Chris slightly misremembering the "Domine Quo Vadis?" story but the bit is still good so whatever don't @ me, A Truly Beautiful And Golden Nightingale, SaulOfTarsus69(Never69), a good tank top, Philotheus, Andrew the Apostle's canonical height, Rebecca the Human, a conversation that sounds like we're swearing but we're DEFINITELY not swearing and I cannot stress that enough, there are no swears here, it's what it says in Bible, the Lord's names, Marine Todd, a real MJFS, the invention of mixed martial arts.

Hymnal: "Roar" by Katy Perry; "Take a Chance On Me" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45).

Offertory: If you have been given riches, wealth, and honor so that you lack nothing of all you desire for yourself, let a stranger enjoy them via ko-fi.com/apocrypals