Unshakable Confidence: Helping High-Achieving Women Lead with Calm, Clarity, and Confidence—at Work and in Life

59: Stop Asking “What’s Wrong with Me”: Understanding Healthy vs. Unhealthy Shame


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For years, I carried an invisible weight — one that whispered, “What’s wrong with me?”

When I froze in meetings, when I couldn’t leave a painful marriage, when I burned out and couldn’t make myself care anymore… I thought I was broken.

What I didn’t realize was that what I was experiencing wasn’t weakness — it was shame. And shame is one of the biggest barriers to healing and growth.

In this episode, I share how unhealthy shame quietly drives perfectionism, people-pleasing, and burnout — and how you can begin releasing it through awareness, nervous system regulation, and safe connection.

You’ll learn:

  • The key difference between healthy and unhealthy shame
  • Why shame lives in the body, not the mind
  • A four-step process to release shame and reconnect with your worth
  • How to move from self-attack to self-compassion

If you’ve ever asked, “What’s wrong with me?” — this episode will remind you: nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken. You are enough.

💬 If this resonates, share it with a friend who’s been carrying shame silently — and let’s start healing together.

  • Coco Duan helps high-achieving women executives who secretly doubt themselves to build calm confidence and create success that feels truly fulfilling.
  • I'd love to invite you to take the next step toward building your calm confidence. Book your FREE one-hour consultation call here: https://calendly.com/cocoduancoaching/1-hr-consultation
  • Or email me at [email protected] with the subject line: “Consultation.”
  • Let’s discover what’s possible for you. 💫


  • Website: www.CocoDuanCoaching.com
  • Instagam: https://www.instagram.com/cocoduan/
  • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cocoduan/
  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coco.duan





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Unshakable Confidence: Helping High-Achieving Women Lead with Calm, Clarity, and Confidence—at Work and in LifeBy Coco Duan, Fortune 500 Senior Executive Turned Life & Leadership Coach

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