Will Childeric II outstrip his brother Clothar III was King of all the Franks?

This week Eliza and Ben discuss a king who fired his little brother, married his cousin, excessively beat his nobles and proved why you REALLY shouldn't go into the woods. I'm sure he'll have a very long and successful reign...

Special appearance from Leodegar, the patron saint of eye-gouging.

Message us your thoughts!

Support the show

⚜️

Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices