6 Months or Less

When my four-year-old son started asking me questions about our neighbor who was in hospice, I realized I was having a difficult time answering his questions about when our neighbor might die. This got me thinking: Can any of us accurately predict when someone might die? So I decided to reach out to Dr. Michael Fratkin, a palliative care doctor and founder of Resolution Care. In this episode, you will hear our conversation about prognosis and the mystery behind trying to guess how the future will unfold. You will also hear parts of my conversation with my wonderful son about our neighbor.

Thank you to Dr. Michael Fratkin for the thought-provoking conversation and to my amazing son for always keeping me on my toes.

Music: “Mother’s Hands” by Sergey Cheremisinov, “Our Fingers Cold” by Blue Dot Sessions, and “Spring Memories” by Alan Spiljak

After experiencing troubling symptoms for years, Jennifer Dunn refused to leave the emergency room until she had a CT scan. The scan and a subsequent biopsy revealed terminal colon cancer. Jen, a 41-year-old mom, shares how she started to think of her experience with cancer in trimesters. She would spend her first year pursuing aggressive treatment. Her second year, which is this year, would be all about her bucket list. Her third year would likely be hospice. Little did she know that in her second year there would be a global pandemic, forcing her to shred her bucket list. We’ll hear how she’s coped with having to give up her dreams and plans, and how she explains all of this to her young daughter.

A big thanks to Dr. Michael Fratkin at Resolution Care for connecting me with Jen. She describes Dr. Fratkin and his team as “essential and comforting guides at each new scary step” of her experience.

Music: “Hardwood Lullaby”, “Blue Jay”, and “These Times” by Blue Dot Sessions, “Negentropy” by Chad Crouch, and “Winter Walk” by Podington Bear

When Adam Hayden was 34 years old, he had brain surgery to remove a tumor the size of a baseball from his parietal lobe, the area of the brain responsible for motor control, sensory input, and spatial reasoning. During this procedure, Adam was not only awake, but he had to make a life-defining decision: Would he rather the surgeon stop the procedure after removing as much of the tumor as safely possible, or would he rather the surgeon remove additional tumor but risk permanent paralysis to the left side of his body? In this episode, you will get to hear what Adam decided. You will also hear how Adam’s upbringing and his philosophy background have influenced the way he chooses to live with his terminal brain cancer.

Thank you so much to Adam Hayden for sharing your story, and for reminding us to “face fear with familiarity.”

To learn more about Adam, you can check out his blog: Glioblastology

Music: “Out of the Skies, Under the Earth” by Chris Zabriskie, “Gratitude” by Borrtex, and “On The Clock” by Pictures of the Floating World

During these unprecedented times, I find myself experiencing waves of emotions. How about you? How are you coping? In this episode, I reflect with my husband about the pandemic and the lives lost, what it’s like to talk to our son about death, and how to find balance.

Music: “Walking Down the Street” and “Our Home” by Borrtex

As always, thank you to my wonderful children for bringing so much joy to my life, and to my husband Eric for the deep love we share for each other.

Being human is pretty great. Our brains are large and sophisticated, which allows us to think and do things in ways that other animals cannot. With this intelligence, however, comes an existential burden: an awareness of our own mortality. In this episode, I interview social psychologist Sheldon Solomon. Sheldon Solomon is Professor of Psychology at Skidmore College in New York. He studies the effects of death awareness on human thoughts, feelings, and behavior. He, along with his colleagues Jeff Greenberg and Tom Pyszczynski, developed terror management theory, which posits that our awareness of our own mortality affects our daily lives in profound ways. You can read more about terror management theory in their book, The Worm at the Core: On The Role of Death in Life. You will also hear parts of a conversation with my very insightful and healthy three-year-old son as he realizes for the first time that he too is mortal.

Music: “Glitter” and “Wavy Glass” by Podington Bear and “Come As You Were” by Blue Dot Sessions

Thank you so much to Sheldon Solomon for decades of groundbreaking research and for the eye-opening conversation.

And thank you to my beautiful son for your sensitivity, your curiosity, and your depth.

In 1926, a 16-year-old girl was told that she was going to give birth to a stillborn. That baby was Manuel Antonio Santaella, and to everyone’s amazement, he was born alive. This was just the beginning of Manuel’s many brushes with death throughout his life. Hear how these experiences have shaped Manuel’s gratitude for life, as well as his relationship with death.

Music: “Peaceful Morning” by Lobo Loco, “Snow Day” by Pictures of The Floating World, and “Stars Above” by Alan Spiljak

Thank you so much to Manuel for sharing your truth with us, and your joy. And thank you to Dr. Michael Fratkin of Resolution Care for connecting me with Manuel, and for all that you do for your patients.

You can learn more about Resolution Care and all the amazing work Dr. Fratkin and his colleagues do here: https://www.resolutioncare.com/

While many of us may normally keep our thoughts about death at a distance, the Coronavirus pandemic is forcing those thoughts closer. In this episode, I interview Dr. Sunita Puri, the medical director of palliative medicine at Keck Hospital and Norris Cancer Center at the University of Southern California. She is also the author of a critically acclaimed literary memoir called That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour. Dr. Puri will help us with the language to initiate conversations about end-of-life care with the people we love. You will also hear parts of a conversation I had with my mom about her end-of-life wishes if she were to get seriously sick from the Coronavirus.

Music: “Meeting Emma” and “Sun” by Borrtex

Thanks so much to my mom for teaching me to always ask the big questions in life and for letting me share our conversation. And thanks to Dr. Puri for her wisdom and compassion.

Here is Dr. Puri’s New York Times article that I mention in the episode: It's Time to Talk About Death

When Glenn Buckland was 55 years old, his wife told him, “You’re either going to the hospital or you’re going to the morgue.” After a series of tests, he was diagnosed with plasma cell leukemia, a rare and terminal cancer. But Glenn is not fearful of his death. He instead believes that it is something that can be celebrated. In this episode, you will learn how Glenn got to this place of acceptance and what he thinks a good death looks like for him.

Thank you so much to Glenn for sharing his story with us.

Music: “Sage the Hunter” and “Low Coal Camper” by Blue Dot Sessions and “Canada” by Pictures of The Floating World

In this episode, I ask a doctor, a medical ethicist, social workers, as well as family, friends, and old coworkers about why it is so hard for us to talk about death and dying. I also share conversations I have had with my young son about the coronavirus and death and dying, and I share some exciting news from my own life.

Thanks to my friends and family for exploring difficult questions with me, and to my son for his uninhibited curiosity and sense of wonder.

Music: “Betty Dear” by Blue Dot Sessions and “Stronger” and “Sun” by Alan Spiljak

John Low was diagnosed with cardiac amyloidosis at the age of 95, giving him six months or less to live. His granddaughter thought he would be a good person for this podcast because of his frank attitude about living and dying. Hear the interview in this episode. The conversation will surprise you.

Thank you to Kendra for all her support and for opening up about her grandfather.

Music: “A Little Sympathy” by Lee Rosevere and “Horses” by Pictures of The Floating World

Note: This episode was recorded before the global outbreak of the Coronavirus. My heart goes out to all the people affected by this, and especially to the people who are having to die alone because of it.