60 Mindful Minutes

Recently, my husband, Marc, and I have started testing out a new ritual. We're habit people and find that when we can put key aspects of our connection on auto-pilot—that is, we get them to happen without having to think too much about making them happen—we seem to find each other more in the slightly chaotic, sometimes harried, often muddled, basket weave that is the life we've assembled together.

For over a decade we've carved the habit of a weekly date night into our family blueprint, amassing a dugout of equally delightful and reliable babysitters and teaching our kids that mom and dad time is the norm, no different than morning breakfast or nightly tuck-ins. It's just what we do. This is simply how the Manieri family rolls.

Call us overly self-indulgent, but we find that after 13 years of marriage, we'd actually like even more couple time together (gasp!). Sure, we see each other every day, but the bevy of hurried, innocuous and sometimes snippy interactions Marc and I experience throughout our busy day feel more like baton passes in a relay than anything close to meaningful connection.

So, we've started the practice of meeting once a week for tea (wine or seltzer works just as good, if that's your fancy). And rather than let the day's headlines or our endless checklist guide our conversation (Did you call the roofer? Should I book the flight to Atlanta before it gets too expensive? Are you going to call the bank about those extra fees?), we anchor our interlude in two questions that have completely changed how we spend those 30 minutes together.

What would you like to be acknowledged for?

What would you like me to know about your life?

Connect with the 60 Mindful Minutes podcast

Web: https://kristenmanieri.com

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/60MindfulMinutes

Instagram: @kristenmanieri_

Here's a thought: what if better connections simply started with better questions?

Kostya Kimlat is a Ukrainian-American magician, motivational speaker, entrepreneur and business consultant who uses magic to help others understand the importance of perception in our daily lives. Learn more at kostyakimlat.com.

Description

Having the ability to see other people's perceptions of us is a powerful skill. We may not think about it much, but we are always "on," which is to say that we are always being perceived by our audience (our spouse, our kids, our coworkers, our friends, etc.).

Tuning into our impact and bringing clarity to how we are perceived can help guide our actions in ways that help us to strategically create the result we are trying the create: the sale, the relationship, the feeling, or the moment.

Key Takeaways

• Methods versus effects: there's what we do and then there is the actual impact we have on others. Sometimes our intended impact and the actual effect don't align.
• The same principles of perception used by magicians to influence an audience's thoughts and actions have been used by leaders to inspire, generals to lead, teachers to fascinate, marketers to sell, politicians to lobby, lawyers to litigate, parents to coerce and children to manipulate.
• Laughter, surprise and joy create positive emotions that make occasions extra memorable.
• Become a delighter. Bring more laughter, surprise and delight to those around you and you'll live a rich life.

Mentioned in This Episode

Penn & Teller: Fool Us with Kostya Kimlat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCFXV6o7cro

Scientists Explain Why People Learn More When They're Emotional

https://www.kostyakimlat.com/blog/scientists-explain-why-people-learn-more-when-theyre-emotional

Can Watching Magic Tricks Transform Your Health?

https://www.kostyakimlat.com/blog/can-watching-magic-tricks-cure-depression

The Secret to Making Your Weekends Feel Longer

https://lifehacker.com/the-secret-to-making-your-weekends-feel-longer-1795585378

Kostya Kimlat

kostyakimlat.com.

Connect with the 60 Mindful Minutes podcast

Web: https://kristenmanieri.com

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/60MindfulMinutes

Instagram: @kristenmanieri_

Having the ability to see other people’s perceptions of us is a powerful skill. We may not think about it much, but we are always “on,” which is to say that we are always being perceived by our audience (our spouse, our kids, our coworkers, our friends, etc.).

Guest Bio

Carrie Contey, PhD is an internationally recognized coach, author, speaker and educator. Her work offers a new perspective on human development, parenting, family life and being a healthy, happy, whole human being. Learn more at www.carriecontey.com.

Description

Carrie Contey has been our parenting coach for many, many years and along the way her insights and wisdom have helped us navigate our parenthood, partnership and personhood with clarity and intention.

Today's conversation focused on connection rituals—the habits we create to consistently sync with the people we share our lives with.

Many of us have relationships with people we see every day, maybe all day, every day. And what Carrie and I discussed today was how to add more juice to those relationships and why there is so much value in having connection rituals.

Key Takeaways

• We all crave a deep sense of belonging and long to be seen and felt by the people in our lives.
• Give away only 49%; save 51% for your own self-care because you can only give your best to the world when you've filled yourself up first.
• Creating connection rituals gives us the opportunity to settle back into our relationships and to energetically return to home.

Mentioned in This Episode

The Family Cooks

By Laurie David

https://www.amazon.com/Family-Cooks-Recipes-Craving-Incredibly/dp/1623362504

Slow Family Living: 75 Simple Ways to Slow Down, Connect, and Create More Joy

By Bernadette Noll

https://www.amazon.com/Slow-Family-Living-Simple-Connect/dp/0399160078

Carrie Contey, PhD

http://carriecontey.com/

Connect with the 60 Mindful Minutes podcast

Web: https://kristenmanieri.com

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/60MindfulMinutes

Instagram: @kristenmanieri_

Carrie Contey has been our parenting coach for many, many years and along the way her insights and wisdom have helped us navigate our parenthood, partnership and personhood with clarity and intention.

Today’s conversation focused on connection rituals—the habits we create to consistently sync with the people we share our lives with.

Human connection is the multivitamin we all need more of. On a cellular level, we are wired to connect and the extent to which we sync with others, even strangers, has a huge impact on our lives, inside and out. Imagine if our lives could be exponentially upgraded just by bringing more intention and presence to the way we connect with others.

About Your Host - Kristen Manieri

To me, life is about constantly evolving as a human being. It's about using the experiences presented to us every single day to upgrade our consciousness, even if it's only by the smallest amount.

Have a conversation with me and within minutes you'll discover that I am an insatiably curious lifelong learner, reader and podcast devourer. I'm on a journey to learn more about how to maximize what researchers have found is the most critical factor in our health, happiness and well-being: the way we connect with others.

I was born and raised in Toronto, Canada, and I've been a resident of Orlando, FL since 2006 I launched a lifestyle blog in 2007, the same year I started freelance writing for magazines both locally and beyond.

In 2017, my award-winning blog (Orlando Date Night Guide) celebrated its 10th anniversary and I launched my digital media company, DNG Media, which oversees a network of Date Night Guide websites across the country.

I'm a seasoned speaker and a sought-after television news guest. But mostly I'm just a human being, trying to figure it all out, not make too much of a mess of things, and learn a few things along the way.

Connect with the 60 Mindful Minutes podcast

Web: https://kristenmanieri.com

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/60MindfulMinutes

Instagram: @kristenmanieri_

Human connection is the multivitamin we all need more of. On a cellular level, we are wired to connect and the extent to which we sync with others, even strangers, has a huge impact on our lives, inside and out. Imagine if our lives could be exponentially upgraded just by bringing more intention and presence to the way we connect with others.