One thing you have to say for the Book of Numbers, Theophiloi: it is exactly what it says in the title. Well, most of it is, anyway. Mixed in with all the census totals and step-by-step MapQuest directions to the Promised Land, though, is some truly wild stuff, including the return of one of our favorite Biblical tropes, the talking animal that no one seems to think is odd in the slightest. Join us, but make sure to brace yourself for a whole lot of skantent.

Topics of discussion: The Devil's Bible (Wizard Magazine), the Devil's Bible (Codex Gigas), horse_ebooks, "Petition Pit," Scholars and Clowns, the two wolves inside us, clown eggs, James O'Barr's The Crow, a large Jamie Madrox of frog, the P editor, a mysterious animal that is either a sea cow or a Lady Rainicorn, Nazarite vs. Nazarene, the Aaronic Benediction, the Lord's invention of ska, an extremely clutch joke made to my wife, Nachos Galacticos, something that is definitely not an idol, Mt. TERF, God just making a bunch of disembodied mouths and then going to bed, Ac***a Gr**e, some wild nasty idol worship in Peor, Rimmon-Perez, a home for Slayer.

Hymnal: "Let Me Ride That Donkey" by 69 Boyz, "Waterloo" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals