By TJ Cole and Kevin Smith
Reviewing bad VHS's and DVD's from thrift stores since 2018.
RESOURCES:Masterpiece Theater ThemeGunshot Sound
COMMERCIALSTMNT Pies (1991)
The gang learns to Roman Cancel.
CommercialsPee-Wee Herman Crack Cocaine PSA (1980)Moon Shoes (1990)
I dunno about you, but I think the Earth is way bigger than a tiny little spider. I know who my money's on.
So bad, we couldn't fit it into one episode!
This movie was too terrible for one episode!
I couldn't find this darn thing on IMDB!
Mark Hamill should just use this look all the time.
Maybe the lost treasure was the movies we made along the way...
So cutthroat, it temporarily murdered an entire genre!
I can't believe it's taken this long for an Uwe Boll movie to show up on this podcast.
This movie's inception alone must've been a miracle!
Can it reach the homoerotic bar set by Top Gun? Or will it fall head-first into the mud puddle of heteronormativity?
COMMERCIALSSaved by the Bell (1992)
CREDITSTrombone Champ - God Save the KingCrackers in my Bed (1987)
COMMERCIALSSocker Boppers (1990)SOUND EFFECTSFart With Reverbmachine powering up
Music: "Shimmy Slide" by John De Hart
Elon Musk's wet dream about buying Oculus comes to life on the silver screen!
Will Tanjiro be able to save his Buffy: the Vampire comic collection? Will Angel finally admit his unrequited love for colorful samurai swords? Am I having a stroke? Find out next!
COMMERCIALSMylanta (2004)
I wager it's a rager.
Also the name for when a bird gets really mad.
Audio CreditsHappy Marimba TunePrice is Right ThemeAir HornCrazy Frog - Axel F
A classic of bad cinema joins a classic of bad podcasting!
They're back and Quaid-ier than ever!
Randy Quaid? In this movie? It's more likely than you think.
COMMERCIALSTiger R-Zone (1995)Kraft Crazy Noodles (1999)
Straight from Vinegar Syndrome, it's another crazy remaster!
Excalibur not included.
Harvey Keitel? Harvey Kei-count me in!
COMMERCIALSCertified Auto Repair (1988)
COMMERCIALSTylenol Allergy Sinus (1980)OTHER CREDITSAchievement sound from Team Fortress 2"63 1/3" from Clay Fighter 63 1/3Sound Effect from Super Mario 64
Another dog movie! Wow, who would've thought.
Ya know, they say in a few years we'll have TeraShadows that fit on a chip the size of our fingernails.
How do you do, fellow Gen Z-ers?
This movie's title could also be the name of a film about a bloodhound in a cyberpunk future.
COMMERCIALSCitrus Express (1997)
COMMERCIALSSpace Crusade (1990)
COMMERCIALSBaby Tumble Surprise (1995)MUSICMotivator by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4084-motivatorLicense: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license "Sunsets in Summer" provided by Stock Music Links (stockmusiclinks.com)Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0
COMMERCIALSGundam Wing - Toonami (2000)OTHER SOUNDSZelda II Link's Awakening OST - Town Theme 2
Will this movie turn out to be surprisingly digestible?
COMMERCIALSBalzac (1993)Taco Bell - Taco Neck Syndrome (1990)
COMMERCIALSResident Evil 2 for Nintendo 64 (1999)
COMMERCIALS[https://www.retrojunk.com/commercial/show/13729/tylenol-ad-3](Tylenol Sinus (1990))[https://www.retrojunk.com/commercial/show/49966/citrus-express](Citrus Express (1997))
Can this legendary MST3K-riffed movie stand on its own without the riffage?
SOUND EFFECTSPigeotto CryChameleon Twist OST - Title Screen
Squeaking SFX courtesy of N Beats
Featuring a special guest: Our friend Justyn! And a movie starring the breakout lead actor of Jaws 3-D: Simon MacCorkindale!
We were really craving some Jeremy Irons.
