Marriage After God - Conversations To Help You Grow Closer To God And Each Other

7 Ways To Strengthen and Maintain Your Marriage


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There is a spiritual truth that goes like this: what we feed will be nourished, what we sow, we will reap, what we pursue, we will find, what we water will grow.

…BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DON'T?

The opposite is a spiritual truth as well. Stop watering something, and it will eventually die. Stop feeding, and it will diminish. If we don't sow, there won't be anything to reap. If we never seek, we will never find.

Our focus today is to examine these truths, hitting home the importance of continual spiritual and relational maintenance. 

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7 Ways to Strengthen and Maintain Your Marriage

This podcast episode delves into the maintenance required for our faith and marriages. The things, and even the people in our fallen world are not meant to last forever. Consequently, as a whole, things that are not regularly cared for or maintained begin to crumble. Now, the duration of time it takes depends on the variables, but really, everything is on its way to deteriorating. When something is cared for, its “life” or longevity is preserved. Alternatively, when things are not tended to- like a building that has been abandoned, when the gutter isn’t fixed, the paint left to chip, the relationship not reconciled or pursued; when the pieces begin to fall and no one bothers to pick them up and see the value in preserving them-the things themselves diminish until they are completely torn down, thrown out, or abandoned. The purpose is buried beneath the rubble and ruin of what once was. 

Marriages don’t usually fall apart all at once. It takes time to get to that point; and yet for some, it's still not long at all, which is heartbreaking and difficult. In parity with our marriage and relationships, our faith can fall apart over time as well if we are not careful. Our world has become accustomed to ease and instant gratification, and where hard work or dedication is required, some become stagnant, while others lose heart and give up completely. Often, we think something better will come along, but as stated by Neil Barringham,

“The grass is always greener where you water it.” 

In other words, the responsibility is ours. If we do not take accountability for our action or in many cases, our inaction, then the fault is also ours.

As stated in  Hebrews 3:12-14, 12 Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. 13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.

When we do not preserve or hold onto our faith and our marriages, they will slowly but surely decay, and eventually crumble. We will be weakened and deceived if we are not careful to abide in Christ. While we can trust that our salvation lies in Christ and his work alone, we can and should labor to safeguard our faith and strengthen our marriages. In order to grow and mature in these things, to keep them from being ineffective, it is essential that we strive to sustain them. 

2 Peter 1:8 “For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Here are 7 things to maintain in order to keep our marriages and our faith strong and effective.

  1. Virtue or purity- having high moral standards and striving to be biblically minded, while pursuing purity in all aspects of life.
  2. Knowledge- growing our knowledge of God through prayer and consistent reading of His word, and growing our knowledge of our spouse by communication, listening and understanding.
  3. Self-control- in how we communicate, in controlling our emotions and what we consume, and having boundaries.
  4. Steadfastness- remaining resolute and unwavering in unity and love with our spouses, and standing firm in our belief in Christ and his finished work.
  5. Godliness- remaining devout in our love and devotion to our God
  6. Brotherly Affection- loving our spouses as a brother or sister in Christ and desiring to see them grow closer to the Lord.
  7. Love- not simply maintaining our love but earnestly seeking it out diligently.

We must realize that when we do not tend to what we are entrusted with, it will not last. When we do pursue, maintain, and care for these things, we preserve them. Let's feed our faith and marriage with God's word and spirit. Let’s sow into our spouses with love and intentionality. Let's pursue God and our spouse with our whole hearts.

Lastly, When a new owner comes in and renovate the building it becomes beautiful and full of purpose. Let Christ be that new owner of your marriage today.

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