70 Years and Beyond

Lately, I don't recognize my world. Of course, I expected things to change over the years. However, it feels like we are going in the wrong direction

Today, I am with Dr. Keba Richmond Green. Professor Green is doing a series of podcasts introducing her classes entitled “Eating for Your Mental Health.”

Professor Green is a licensed marriage and family psychoanalyst, relationship coach, consultant, published author, and international speaker. She is dedicated to helping women become self-aware of past and present life experiences.

In this podcast, one of two parts, we discuss our mental health journeys.

Disclaimer: Nothing in the podcast episode should be considered medical advice—the information in this podcast is personal experience and opinion.

***Not Explicit, but I do say a few curse words***
When I grew up, we were not allowed to curse. The word 'curse' was considered a curse word and we could only use the words 'bad words' to describe profanity.

We could say, "Oh, they were saying bad words." Or, we could say, "They were cussing." Because even the word 'curse' was considered a bad word. But it was ok to use the word 'cuss'. 

The word 'hell' was considered a bad word. And to this day, it is still ingrained in me not to curse. I have a hard time cursing or using profanity. And that's probably a good thing. I think it's a good thing, and I'm proud of that. 

It's just that sometimes I wish I could lighten up a little bit and throw some words around to some people in situations where they are warranted.

In 1968 in Greensboro, North Carolina, I was a senior at James B. Dudley High School. I loved weekend parties! On the weekends, someone at my school - at least one person, would be giving a party on a Friday night or Saturday night. Sometimes there'd be several parties on Friday night, as well as several parties on Saturday night on the same weekend. I made it my business to be at all of them! Now, I was not necessarily invited to all or any of them. However,  I made it my business to be at all of them. 

It is Greensboro, North Carolina. The year is 1968. I am a senior at James B. Dudley High School. We're all just trying to find something to focus on. At least I am. Because we were left feeling 'some kind of way' when they killed Martin Luther King, Jr.  last month. I know I'm just trying to focus on graduating. I'm focused on going to college - and I want to make some money. So I saw in the paper where Tex and Shirley's Pancake House was looking for a waitress.

I remember when you could smoke in a restaurant. I remember you could smoke just about anywhere. In fact, your cars - cars were built with ashtrays above the door handle in the back and front seats. Also, there was a cigarette lighter built into the dashboard near the driver.  

Cigarettes were recommended for morning sickness if you were pregnant. Some people recommended cigarettes as a laxative. I remember, of course, cigarettes were recommended highly as a way to relax or something to use to calm your nerves or to help if you had anxiety.

Real doctors did actually encourage people to have cigarettes. Now, I grew up, as you know, in North Carolina, and North Carolina, as well as Virginia, were considered the "tobacco states".

I'm living in New York City. It is 1984/ 85. I'm now the mother of two wonderful, beautiful little girls. But I'm struggling. I am struggling financially. I am struggling mentally. I am struggling emotionally.

I am struggling spiritually. I am struggling with my marriage. I am struggling in almost any way that a person could struggle. I am struggling in that way. I am also very much a part of the mental health system . . .

Now, every day, I was praying that I need to get out of New York City because knowing New York City as I did, I knew enough to know that we did not want to be poor in New York City . . .

Wambui was born to Mr. and Mrs. John Louis Washington of Greensboro, North Carolina in January of 1950. Her mother thought she could predict whether she was going to have a boy or a girl. She predicted that Wambui was going to be a boy. Wambui was a girl. However, her mother named her John Washington anyway. She changed the middle name from Louis to Ann. Wambui's birth name was John Ann Washington. In this podcast, Wambui tells the story of why and how she legally changed her name from John Ann Washington to Wambui Bahati and how her mother reacted.

"My Aunt Thelma was 85 years old when she was diagnosed with colon cancer. The doctors told her without immediate surgery, she would have from a few months  - or maybe just a few weeks to live. I am told that my aunt said to the doctors, 'I ain't not having no surgery'. 

We all tried to convince her to have the operation, but she refused. To make a long story short, Aunt Thelma lived a wonderful and active life on her own and reached the age of 94. 

She had kept up the payments on her insurance and planned her funeral. She had given the funeral home her insurance papers to make sure her services were covered.
 
She had been in the hospice Goldsboro, North Carolina only a few days when the funeral home called my brother to say that the life insurance policy had just expired. How ironic. My Aunt Thelma and her insurance policy expired on the very same day."

Wambui Bahati tells a story of how, when growing up in Greensboro North Carolina in the 1950s and 1960's, her mother kept an eye on which children could and could not enter their home. Wambui believes that her mother was so good at investigating the children that she did not recognize - that her mother could have been a border czar.