On this week's episode: Eli will be deemed nonessential during the ongoing shutdown ... Donald Trump gets stuck with a truck full of watermelons after he's forced to change his catering plans last minute ... And all of you promise not to Eli this isn’t a federal job.  

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Headline Sources:

Trump cancels Pelosi's flights for spite over SOTU remark as shutdown continues: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46911478

Buzzfeed: Trump directed Cohen to lie to congress about Trump Tower Moscow negotiations: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/jasonleopold/trump-russia-cohen-moscow-tower-mueller-investigation

Steve King removed from committee assignments after latest white supremacy remark: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/us/politics/steve-king-white-supremacy.html?module=inline

William Barr confirmation hearings: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/barr-confirmation-hearing-trumps-attorney-general-nominee-likely-to-face-tough-questioning-today-from-senate-panel/2019/01/15/02467a16-15e0-11e9-803c-4ef28312c8b9story.html?utmterm=.f298ad3c032f

Trump serves fast food buffet to Clemson football team during White House visit: https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/1/15/18183617/trump-clemson-mcdonalds-burger-king-wendys-dominos

Man injects semen into his arm to cure back pain: https://www.sciencealert.com/patient-injected-himself-with-semen-thinking-it-would-cure-his-back-pain