9 Chickweed Rage

For our 50th Episode Spectacular, we invited Matt Fraction to come back to the sex toilet! Shockingly, he said yes! We gave him the option of seeing half of the strips ahead of time and being surprised by the second half. But he could not resist the siren call of Mac-El-Dee's awfulness and not only read all fourteen strips we cover in this episode...but the handful of strips that Brooke left out of the run. No one understands our sickness like Matt. There is a LOT of discussion about butts (with the requisite long lists of synonyms for butts [because NOTHING is funnier than synonyms!]) and of tattoos on said butts. Apparently, for the men of the Chick-Verse, the McEldowney-Sphere, the mere thought of a tattoo on a butt is like Viagra, leaving the men incapacitated with persistent boners for, well, the entirety of the two week run. It was good to have Matt back to suffer with us. Happy 50th, everybody!

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

Special Guest: Matt Fraction.

During the Hugh-Xiulan wedding, Ginger (yeah, "Who?" is spot on) pines after Gerald (nope, not him either), but Xiulan and Edda believe he's gay. He's not, it turns out. And to prove it, Ginger and Gerald make out in a graveyard near a tombstone whose most prominent engraved word is "LAID." Great subtle stuff, by the master himself. Also, when we say "make out," we mean specifically that Gerald fingerbangs Ginger against the aforementioned tombstone. Don't forget: This is the wedding where all of the ladies in the wedding party went commando. Did we mention that it is the middle of the day? Or that this is immediately after the wedding? Or that this graveyard is obviously right next to the chapel where the wedding was taking place? And that it was broad daylight? Oh, we said that one already? Well, it bears repeating. Weirdly, their public fucking isn't something everyone can see. (First time for everything in this strip, we suppose.) Only Seth notices them as they fornicate on the grass behind a tombstone. Not a tombstone large enough to adequately hide a humping couple in the daytime, of course. No one (except Seth) notices even though they're all standing just three feet away. High quality stuff, as per usual.

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

All of the sudden, out of literally nowhere, Brooke Mac-El-Dee decides to do a whole series based on things you can do (or cannot do) on unicycles. Where we discover that Amos rides a unicycle. I mean, why not? We've never seen him do it before. No one in the comic has ever even mentioned a unicycle even once. But, sure, let's put Amos on a unicycle because it makes sense that he would ride one. I guess? I don't know. This sequence of strips is truly baffling, and certainly annoying. We don't want to spoil the surprise, but one of the things (apparently) you can do on a unicycle is play a theorbo while on a high wire. What is a theorbo, you may be asking? That's a very good question! And there's a reason you do not know what one is, because almost no one knows what one is. It's like a giant medieval guitar. And that -- we suppose -- is why it's funny! Which is to say, it is not funny at all, but at this point in the game, are we really expecting humor? No, we are not.

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

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After NOT making good on our promise to cover the courtship of Polly and Lolly last episode, we get around to it this time and boy do we ever regret it! Since we began this podcast, we have never made a clear distinction between Polly and Lolly. We did this because primarily Brooke Mac-El-Dee seems to believe they are perfectly interchangeable. Why draw two women as independent characters? But that's maybe being unfair to him. I mean, it's not like any of the characters are that much different from any other characters anyway. We try our best to keep it straight to help ourselves and our listeners along, but guys we have to tell you: It was fucking impossible to do so. Alistair is engaged to one of them but then is "in love" with the other. The one he's engaged to maybe doesn't even kiss him, or maybe by "kiss" Mac-El-Dee means fucking. Who knows! Alistair plays a concert with the one he's NOT engaged to and makes out with her on stage, while the one he's engaged to is in the audience with her parents, who (in their brief appearance in this run) don't seem concerned about what a fucking gross asshole Alistair is being. Now, which one is which in the above passage? Like we said, it was fucking impossible to keep straight and it ultimately doesn't matter because Alistair just ends up marrying the one he was engaged to after she suggests maybe they should kiss. Or some bullshit like that. It's fucking awful.

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

When given the simple task of doing a listener request, Brooke decides instead to go rogue. So instead of us talking about Alistair and his indifference about which twin he fucks or marries (but which would he kill?), we end up in the world of the Peels, Arthur and Nan-Lin. It's been ten episodes since we last saw them, and it took us a while to figure out exactly who we were dealing with this episode. Once we caught up, we discovered that -- of course! -- Arthur was drawn very differently from when we saw him last. Not a surprise! Anyway, these two people who (hilariously?) share the same last name, fall in love after accidentally (?) touching their tongues together. Brooke and Jeff absolutely lose their fucking minds over the creative choice to put the thoughts in a thought bubble backwards. But things only get worse from there when we finally remember that we've seen these two characters before. And after the briefest amount of research, we discover that -- of course -- Arthur looks NOTHING like the Arthur we met before. Nothing. Barely resembles the same character. Nan-Lin jumps his bones, because that's the only way courtship works in this fucking comic strip. And then we go down the same path we've been down before with the romantic couple talking ENDLESSLY about whether or not what was happening was actually real or somehow just a fantasy. It's insufferable, naturally. Arthur plays his "Reverie," the magical piece of music he wrote that sends listeners into fits of uncontrollable fucking. Nan-Lin recognizes it. And then she doesn't recognize it at all. Because that makes perfect sense. And then, upon hearing it, she drops to the floor and begins masturbating. No, seriously. For like four straight strips. As Arthur puts it, she "palpates herself." Even after he stops playing. Amazing that this run did not kill us.

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

So our journey this episode takes us to a recital, where Amos and Edda get a less than glowing review from a critic. They are SO BAD at taking any amount of criticism that they go onstage the next night to flip the critic off. Oh wait! Yeah. In this world, Amos and Edda have a multi-night engagement AND the critic comes to EVERY performance AND writes about every performance. Just like in real life! So Amos flips off the audience (as a way of showing the audience that he disapproves of the critic's take) and Edda joins him. Then there's a reaction to THAT reaction, which also rubs Amos and Edda the wrong way. Because why wouldn't they be anything but, as they admit, childish, vindictive and ridiculous? There's a brief Sunday strip sidebar about how a bunch of scientists ask Amos to ask Edda how she keeps her boobs in her dress. I wish we were kidding about this, but no, this is REALLY what the Sunday strip is about. Then we return to the critic storyline where the critic shows up for a THIRD STRAIGHT performance to explain himself to Edda. She takes it well, and by that I mean she threatens to make him strip naked and dance in front of the audience. But only for the first 100 attendees. Yeah. It made zero sense to us either. Good times!

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

For this episode, we spend basically all of our time in the water, a Mac-El-Dee classic! But we begin with Edda staring at her reflection in a mirror, because of COURSE that's what she's doing. Edda provides multiple opportunities for the Brooke-ster to draw crazy teeth, for reasons that are completely unclear. Turns out, she's trying out various monster faces to look sexier for Amos -- like that would make any fucking difference with him. Amos points out that she has spinach in her teeth (which she somehow missed while staring at her mouth in the mirror) and Edda is despondent from shame. He makes up for it by calling her "the sweetest girl in all the world." Edda and Amos kiss in front of Polly and Lolly who hope that Amos "doesn't pick up her cold sore." Yep. That's a normal phrase: "pick up a cold sore." Edda then grabs Amos's legs underwater causing him to scream "like a little girl," which she then shames him for over the course of several strips. Proving, naturally, that she is indeed "the sweetest girl in all the world." Later, when Polly and Lolly are older, they again have a conversation with Edda about being sexy, which is a totally normal conversation moms have with their daughters literally all the time. Lolly makes out with Alistair at the beach, climbing up him and sliding her feet into his swimsuit to remove it. Yes, you read that right. And then she locks toes with him. Because: ROMANCE! The world is on fire but romance is still alive on Chickweed Lane! Hooray!

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

So sorry we've been away for so long. If it's any consolation, these strips punish us quite handily for our laziness. Boy do they ever! The white hot romance of Juliette and Elliott is explored a little this time around. Seems that Juliette loses her shit for Milk Duds. She makes it sound like it's a sexual thing, because isn't everything sexual in this godforsaken strip? But by the time we actually witness it, it's just Elliott with a cereal box-sized container of Milk Duds on his lap and Juliette sitting next to him with what appears to be 100 duds in each cheek. Certainly all of this came about so ol' Mac-El-Dee could have Elliott talk about how Juliette likes to have a "mouthful of caramel balls." Otis weaponizes the information by tempting Juliette with Milk Duds and getting her to sing a dirty version of an old TV theme -- one she makes up for him. Don't think too hard about what appears to be a teenager prostituting his girlfriend's mom. It's actually just silly and fun and definitely NOT WEIRD AT ALL. We also see one of the most poorly drawn examples of the Edda-in-a-leotard-in-front-of-a-mirror trope that the old pervert loves so much. And to finish it off, Otis reveals to Edda that he literally has no idea what a sunset is. None. Seriously.

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

After two and a half years of doing this podcast, Jeff has obviously lost his mind. He brings thirty -- THIRTY -- strips to discuss, all about the lead-up to Seth and Fernanda's wedding. And boy oh boy is it a doozy! We talk about how Brooke is obviously the world's favorite co-host of this podcast, and that's it's not even close. We begin with Fernanda talking about panties at length, which we had just barely scratched the surface of in our previous episode. We discover that Fernanda (and ultimately Brooke Mac-El-Dee himself) does not truly understand the concept of rounding off numbers. Apparently, a skill being taught to (and being understood by) elementary school children eludes our dear author. Nor does he seem to be aware of the total number of people currently on the planet or how many of that number would be men. Why would that be important? It's not really. But he mis-uses both of those pieces of information to get to what he believes is a joke. So he's both inaccurate and not funny. But, shit, we knew all that already, didn't we? In the lead-up to Fernanda and Seth getting married, Edda kisses Seth, for no real good reason, TWICE. Both times, Amos is like, "Well, that seems normal and fine." But to us, of course, it seems like proof the two of them totally did it. Like, for sure. Fernanda and Seth are in a pool, a shower, and a couple of different tubs. And after basically six straight weeks of this dumb storyline it ends with them in a tub throwing a phone away. Yep. Classic stuff.

You can find all of this episode's strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find this episode's strips on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

Matt Fraction really should be writing the new Batman comic, but instead he made the mistake of wondering, "What exactly is this comic strip Jeff and Brooke are talking about?" It's a dangerous question to pose to yourself. Even more so, as Matt discovered, if one makes the mistake of Googling this comic strip. It kind of opens a Pandora's box. Which is what happened, and the next thing Matt knew, he was reading years' worth of Chickweed Lanes. Seriously guys, he took pages of notes! After the deep immersion, he agreed to join us on the podcast to talk about the things he witnessed. That includes: couples going to TGI Fingerbang's, something known as "ffawnky mozm fimps," curious children who lift mommy's skirt, hetero-curious ballet dancers, buttholes that look like clown's mouths, falling in love with Nazis, vaginas (with and without crawfish), "knockout gams," how much Brooke Mc-El-Dee knows about menstruation (not much!), elderly men who produce ink when startled, the hypnotic sexiness of cat's buttholes, and a final strip so surprising, it floors Brooke Dillman, almost literally. And this after two of the earlier strips nearly killed her already! Along the way, we talk about Dilbert, Alan Moore, Gene Simmons, and Kansas City's most famous serial killer. Also Matt makes a really good point about Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's our largest episode ever and for a good reason! Drake! Dillman! Fraction! Let's go!

You can find all of the strips on Instagram by clicking here. We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find us on Bluesky by clicking here.

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?

Special Guest: Matt Fraction.