This pic you see in the episode thumbnail was taken at an LA photo shoot back in 2002. I’m sharing it now because, in today’s pod release, I include personal stories that challenge the gender binary. And if your brain is suddenly scrambling to try and figure me out, that feeling you have is the entire point of this episode. Rather than jumping to conclusions, I hope you’ll listen in.

Today’s release takes a critical look at gender essentialism, the socially reinforced belief in a fixed gender binary. I kick things off with some personal stories, sharing why my girliest school photo is the cringiest, about the time I shaved my head in the early aughts, and the name of the book that had me performing "divine femininity" for over a decade. Newsflash: perimenopause can be a real bitch in the best possible way; I tell you how it’s helping me shed the she-shoulds and embrace fuller expression of my humanity. I define gender essentialism and the politics that drive it, speak to how the film industry fails women who are dog-tired of performing womanhood, and offer up a reminder that cis folks are the top consumers of gender-affirming care. I speak about how the most popular nonfiction book from the 90s repackaged and reified gender norms for decades to come, then offer a deep bow and wholehearted shout-out to trans folks who bear the weight of virulent projections because of our collective unwillingness to grapple with social conditioning. Challenging gender essentialism means braving cognitive dissonance and disrupting social norms; this episode may push some long-ago-installed buttons. Before you decide how you feel about it, I encourage you to listen to the entire episode AND explore every resource provided in the show notes (there are lots of folks expressing this stuff better than I can). You might be surprised where it lands you.

Referenced in this episode:

• The Cult of Gender w/ Maxx (TDP #70) w/ Maxx, Troy, & Lainie
• Elder Wisdom (TDP #23) w/ Katherine Howells
• Gender Trouble (Book), by Judith Butler
• If Books Could Kill (Podcast) - Men Are From Mars (Critique)
• ALOK: Biology! (YouTube) Comedy Special

Highly Recommended EXTRAS:

• Beyond XX & XY
• Mimi’s Story - Intersex
• In Defense of Misfits (more from Alok)

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The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

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