91619

91619

By 000Arts
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91619 episodes

  • God Lit Af Comedy Tour starring The Holly Spirit s7 “Sometimes I feel like a nut Sometimes I don’t”
    This is the authors edition. This is the written version of the movie. This will not be rewritten, edited or rehearsed. The bloopers will remain. This is real life made on lifetime movie network. Picture this A long time ago I was named Jesus Christ. I reincarnated and came back as a girl. I was a hemorphodite. You know. A Real Unicorn. It used to hang. And I never shaved my pubic hair so they thought my thang was a tail. Naw bruh. That wasn’t no tail. That was my thing. My dingle ling. Ya know how they say. “Hung like horse” well they got that from me. They used to say “Hung like a unicorn” I mean listen I was a girl but understand what I’m telling u.That time when I was Jesus Christ I reincarnated as a girl with green eyes and gold hair and a care bear nose. my donkey ass shook like jello jigglers. Listen the Bible don’t even talk about the time I came back as a hermaphrodite no where. I mean wassup with that. You got to be kidding. All the miracles I gave y’all night after night. I brought the moon out over and over and over again and y’all mother f ers can’t even tell me thank you for the moon tonight. Cuss I mean shit even tho I’m Jesus Christ don’t believe the hype. The Bible well let’s say this. They left out some stuff. Somebody added in some stuff. Then they took the words that mean vagina and changed it to the words that means penis. King mean lioness. The real queen was sleeping beauty. The lion. And who is running around collecting my royalties from the Books I wrote. And where is my original copy. I named my book after my vagina. I called my vagina “the Bible” it means “it’s the truth”. Somebody changed my story of Adam and Eve. Ooh excuse me. Who told y’all to do that. When I wrote the story of my life my name was Jesus Christ but that time I was a girl with a penis and a vagina, they called me weird. But I knew in my heart that I was a beautiful mother f n unicorn. I was on all fours and they was teasing me cuss god made me different and they was jealous. They was Jealous because I was a stallion. I was born with gold hair and green eyes. They tooK one look at me and said “wtf is wrong with that baby” “it got a vagina and a penis” and they didn’t like what god had made the day I born. Sooo I mutated immediately before they could blink their eyes I went into disguise. I huffed and I puffed and I took one deep breathe in and I sucked that penis right back up in my vagina and I hid it away so nobody could see it. I remember when I was in the womb. I heard them saying that I will be a boy or a girl. But wassup with that. This lifetime god sent me back as both. And I’m in the womb hearing that the doctors are killing the children born hermorphodite. So I hid my penis When I was born. Eve was born from Adam’s rib because that lifetime…Adam was both. He had a vagina and a penis… and he pleased his self and one day he got pregnant because he was a unicorn that lifetime. A hermorphodite. When he gave birth it was disgusting. They called his baby a “cabbage patch kid” because when Adam the hermorphodite gave birth after impregnating himself.. his penis exploded on impact. And his penis looked like a snake that swallowed a watermelon. When the other men heard what Adam had done they yelled out “God damn it Adam” all the people where men and they all were named Adam. They all responded as one. They were all hermorphodites. They pleased their self with their own vagina and penis. But god told Adam. “don’t bust or else” and you know what Adam didn’t listen. Thats what I’m tryna tell you. They left that part out. Mary too… she was one too. She was a virgin but that just means that she was only touching herself…. Nobody else. It’s a tough situation because when you’re a hermorphodite it’s like pushing an apple down your throat. So god made Adam’s apple to remind him to stop f n his self. Adam kept busting over and over again and kept getting hisself pregnant and it was disgusting to watch. $lovesharnae on cashapp
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    1 hr 5 min
  • If you enjoyed this show send $1 on cashapp to $lovesharnae
    FOREX IN THE CITY IS MY NEW YORK TIMES COLUMN ABOUT MY DAY. This is my real life that I am sharing with you. I hope you enjoy this HBO SPECIAL. I live in the city of Manhattan. Im broke af for real but I know how to make it look better. I came here from cleveland. That’s where im born. I’m a investigative reporter. I record a lot. Im covering a story on martin and it’s deep. So deep put your ass to sleep. You so crazy…martin. I’m sharnae nae. I moved in the building. Right across the hall from martin. I was investigating martin. Come to find everybody wanted ya boy Marty mar except Pam. Pam wanted Gina. They been staying together. The others was jealous they wanted to be Gina. Even bruh man from the fifth floor used to sneak downstairs looking for martin. Everybody thought they was gone come up. But the Word around town was that he been f n Gina before he got the martin show contract. She had a fat ass. And you see them cheeks. You can tell gina got a lot, of good head, ahead of her. everybody knew that martin was co-signing Gina to be his work wife. See martin was already with Nipsey before he came into the industry. Martin used to take Nipsey to the funny stop comedy club in cuyahoga falls Ohio. Pete own the comedy club. Pete told me that martin was a bish. And I didn’t believe Pete. But Pete said that HE KNOW ALL ABOUT MARTIN. Pete has a room upstairs for his headliners to use when they are fn their openers. The room is for male headliners only sleeping with females openers. That’s Pete preference. It’s his room, his rules. Pete said you’re not allowed to have more than 2 balls in the room at a time. he provides the room for the comics for free but he is definitely recording. He got cameras all throughout the building. His family is from the olde world of Lebanon. Pete got tapes of martin from back then. Martin used to use the boom boom room. I was laughing when Pete showed me this old porn that he filmed on vcr tape. It’s definitely Martin and Nipsey. All ima say is this… disgusting. He was making pornhub at funny stop comedy club. I investigated this and recorded a statement from Pete. Pete said “I don’t care what the nigger said” end quote. Pete is honest. It’s just like old town road. Remember how lil nas x used to be on the down low when the song first came out. Now he out here just acting like a hoe. So he must have always been a hoe before too. Just like martin and Nipsey. they Bestfriends in real life if you know what I mean. Okay let me explain it slower. Remember how martin was always at the bar with just Nipsey, all those Times just them two at the bar, all those times. Back then the scenes was subtle and intimate. It was delicate and presented with class. You would see two happy men at the bar having a drink all those times and we knew that martin and Nipsey was happy on the martin show. Nipsey was martins bartender on the show or in other words Nipsey is martins bar wife. The one he hang out with when he get drunk and wanna hear some music. But they can never dance in the bar cuss back then in the 90s, it was a wholesome time. Nipsey and martin couldn’t run around on old town road acting like Lil x. But Gina had a real husband in real life and he told her that she better stop putting her tongue down the other martins throat when they filming. Gina said that the other martin was putting his tongue down her throat first and gina tried to push his tongue out but martin already had something stuck in his throat, already. Gina went to the bar to ask Nipsey for advice and Nipsey got pissed off. Nipsey told Gina that he was f n martin too. Nipsey told Martin that he had to choose between Gina or Nipsey. Gina said she done with martin anyway. Nipsey behind the bar but he runs the show. I interviewed Nipsey and he said “martin so crazy but that’s MY bish” I talked to a meth head in Akron and they confirmed that Martin still has something stuck in the back of his throat…. And is in fact NIPSEY
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    30 min
  • If you enjoyed this show send $1 on cashapp to $lovesharnae
    If you enjoyed this show send $1 on cashapp to $lovesharnae Tamia answers the phone “hello I am Tamia Hampton and this hotel is my house. Okay sir I’m not dumb af. You sound crazy. We will not give you any information. Excuse me. Now I know you lying. We own all of em and I don’t want to have my police get you. I do not give a fuck what you said. we protect our clients privacy. When you stay at the hotel you are staying at my family’s house. We are sharing out extra rooms with you at a reasonable price. Because family will screw your over and steal all your money if you let them. So we charge our clients the same rate that we charge are other family and friends. When Auntie Beverly Hampton come to our winter home Oakwood Ohio she gone pay the same rate everybody else pay. And she gone get the same security that I give to my clients family and friends. Tamia raised up and called the police and said negroe If you bring your ass up here you gone get kidnapped by the police. You sound like a bad ass little kid and the police be kidnapping kids so I’m warning you don’t make me have them look for you cuss you gone get it. They gone jump you and throw you in the trunk and leave you In the garage so you can be my little Pet rob. And you can never stay with us at any location of our houses. Nicca you are being put on the black list”
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    12 min

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