Today, I interview Lorraine Segal. Lorraine grew up in southern California. She tells us about her struggle to feel the same love she saw elsewhere around her. Her own parents never showed unconditional love, so Lorraine lacked the support and affection she craved. 

She felt she could never measure up and that everything had to be perfect, and in response to this, she often procrastinated.  She was afraid of doing it wrong, so she didn't do it at all. Her parents meant well, but they never gave her the foundation she needed to feel like she belonged in this world. 

Lorraine also knew societal struggles from a young age. Her family was Jewish, and she was surrounded by conservative Christians who thought they were going to hell. There was a lot of persecution and rejection, and Lorraine often felt like an outcast. Lorraine already had such a low view of herself that she hadn't even realized she was being persecuted and was experiencing antisemitism. She thought there was something wrong with her and that she deserved to be treated that way. 

In terms of finding her voice, Lorraine says she was never really without a voice, per se. She was very articulate and enjoyed presenting, teaching, and connecting with others, but her real issue was her own belief that no one would value anything she had to say, so none of it would matter. Her unique way of thinking, problem-solving, and making connections made her feel alone and unable to relate with others. Who would ever understand her? 

"The personal is political," she reminds us. She began to fight for the person she was underneath all the disrespect from others and from herself. She took action in the world to uncover her own fears, heal her own wounds, and make sure her own voice was being heard. She was in recovery and was learning to confront the thought patterns that had harmed her life for so long. She attended workshops and focused on her inner and outer dialogue. 

In the process of writing her book, she realized that she didn't need to focus on who would read her book and what they'd say. She learned that it was just as important for her own inner self that she complete the physical act of getting her words out on paper. She has forgiven herself and other words for all the negative, belittling words and actions against her. And in her work today, her gift to the world is to help others learn and practice forgiveness, too. 

__________________ 

After surviving the 50's and 60's, as well as twenty years in toxic academia as a tenured professor, Lorraine Segal was inspired to started her own business, Conflict Remedy (ConflictRemedy.com), happily teaching, coaching, blogging and consulting around workplace conflict transformation. She is addicted to reading novels and enjoys walking and hiking in beautiful Northern California, where she lives with her wife. Her cartoon muse, Bookie, insisted that she write her new memoir, Angels and Earthworms: an unexpected journey to joy, love, and miracles. 

Find Lorraine here: 
https://conflictremedy.com/ 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorrainesegal/ 
https://www.facebook.com/lorraine.segal 
Sign up to receive forgiveness affirmations that help us forgive ourselves and others: https://conflictremedy.com/book 

_____________________

I'm your podcast host, Dr. Doreen Downing, and I help people find their voice so they can overcome anxiety, be confident, and speak without fear. 

Get started now on your journey to your authentic voice by downloading my Free 7 Step Guide to Fearless Speaking: https://www.doreen7steps.com.   

Support the show

I’m Dr. Doreen Downing and I help people find their voice so they can speak without fear. Get the Free 7-Step Guide to Fearless Speaking https://www.doreen7steps.com​.