Blessed are your hosts, Theophiloi! It's been a while, yes, but we're back just in time for our mutual birthday, with a look at an apocryphal text that goes from zero to complete buck wild in the span of about one paragraph. Get ready for some real Bee Attitudes and join us in this episode as we find out how Joseph — the Old Testament one with the coat, not Jesus's stepdad — met his very tall, very mean wife.

Topics of Discussion: Donald Duckin' into an avuncular age, who's the Scrooge/Georgia/Ryan/Taylor and who's the Donald/Karen/Shane/Phoebe?, Apocrypha for Beginners by Brandon W. Hawk, fancasting for Aseneth, some good cat names, BDSM, a story about Balder the Brave.

Hymnal: "A Bee Without Its Sting" by the Go! Team, "Bad Romance" by Mad Organist (https://youtu.be/a9mgZqO4bgc)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.