Valentine's Day is coming up, and we are delving into yet another romcom!  Adorn yourself in tulle ("tool?" "tuhl?") and your I <3 Kathryn Heigl ("haygle?" "hi gull?") t-shirt, because we're coming at you with 27 DRESSES!  Do Patrick and Barry critique the wedding industry, struggle for something nice to say about Malin Åkerman's ("...?") performance, and lovingly describe every one of the titular bridesmaid dresses for your listening pleasure?  "We do!"

Ranking the 27 Dresses of 27 Dresses- ew.com 

Content note: discussions of transphobia, sexual assault, addiction.

Listen, [comrade]. Real podcasters don't wear capes, and they don't look like Jesus.  They have codependent relationships with their teenage daughters and work at a restaurant where Richard Kind has a Chekhov's gun that nobody bothered to introduce in the first act.  Is it an elaborate metaphor for a high-profile divorce or Oscar bait fueled by a long-standing, potentially fabricated feud?  We have our theories, but what we can say for certain is that it's Katie Holmes' 2016 directorial debut:  All We Had. 

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind... join Barry and Patrick for an end of 2025 episode and acquaint yourself with Playing for Keeps, a 2012 soccer rom?com?? Gerard Butler vehicle.  And then hope that you never have to bring it to mind again.  Find out how Judy Greer fares in a movie where thirteen (13) producers had 13 (thirteen) different ideas about what the movie they were making was supposed to be about, savor Barry's and Patrick's most nuanced and accurate celebrity impression yet, and stick around for the Judy Awards, where we honor the most podcast theme-relevant film performances of 2025. 

The darkest time of the year is upon us (here in the Northern hemisphere at least) where most of us just want to take a cue from nature and hibernate for a while.  Does 96 Greers have the movie for you!  Gentle music, minimal yelling, and a languid plot that revolves around Hollywood's two sexiest septigenarians (Jane Fonda and Robert Redford) sleeping together.  Literally.  Just falling asleep for the night in the same bed.  Other cozy topics of conversation include movie time with the family and a very soothing Other Segment. 

In the winter of our discontent, let necessity be the mother of invention.  As in, we are discontent with America: the Motion Picture and needed to be inventive about recording while Barry was out of town for a week and a half.  Join us in an audio festival of contempt for this animated comedy's poorly-written jokes that rely on the premise "anachronisms = funny" over and over and over.  This podcast would like to humbly submit the idea that you, the audience, deserve better.  Better... for freedom. 

Many thanks to Jessica Conger-Henry for being our Narrator.

Soundtrack:

Fife and Drum Corps, "Yankee Doodle/Dixie"

The Hollywood Sound Stage Orchestra, "When Johnny Comes Marching Home"

The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, Overture from The Pirates of Penzance

Telemann Society Orchestra, "Variants on Greensleeves"

Knuckles O'Toole, "The Cannonball"

unknown, "The Internationale"

the Grateful Dead, "Funiculi Funicula"  (June 9, 1977)

Al Hirt and His Band, "It's a Long Way to Tipperary"

The Company of Military Collectors and Historians, "British Reville"

All tracks retrieved from archive.org 

The stars have finally aligned, two in-theater episodes in a row!  Barry and Patrick headed back to the realm of 8 dollar fountain drinks for Dead of Winter, a sparse backcountry thriller where Emma Thompson and Judy Greer have conflicting goals regarding a teenager who is bound and gagged in a basement.  (I told you, it's sparse!)  Stick around for an Other Segment that keeps Barry unwisely spending $.40/ounce on a beverage that retails at the local grocery store for $.05 cents per ounce to determine if there's a role for Judy Greer at the Chicago International Film Festival. 

Two momentous episodes in a row!  For the previous episode, we knew the halfway mark was going to come eventually.  But we did not know when we would get to see JG in a movie in theaters that other people would actually go see.  Barry and Patrick recorded this episode two weeks ago and, holy crap, The Long Walk is still in theaters!  Better and more popular film podcasts are talking about it!  But don't listen to them.  Or do.  Barry does.  If the "them" in this case is The Next Picture Show.  But listen to us first.  

Honored ear-guests: we've half-done it.  With this episode, we reach the halfway mark of the journey to 96 Greers.  We mark this special occasion with a special movie in the Judy Greer filmography:  2004's 13 Going on 30.  That's right, Barry and Patrick have taken this ode to Gen X's childhood and given themselves permission to be even more nostalgic than usual about the late nineties/early oughts.  Pull on your Uggs, update your MySpace profile, and vote for Pedro as we discuss the woes of directors aspiring to bring about the next big thing, the joys of bullying Mark Ruffalo, and the sweet sweet drone of Casiotone for the Painfully Alone.  We also have a very special Other Segment, featuring the folks who bore witness to our awkward teenage years:  Madelyn Waehner and Jessica Conger-Henry!

You can find Madelyn's articles on music and Roman history on Medium and more info about her beginner's Latin books here. 

You can find Jess on Instagram @allybaster 

New England listeners! Sweet! You can hear (and see!) Jess in The Post Meridian Radio Player's Halloween Show in October 2025! Https://ww.pmrp.org for details!

Before Octavia Butler and Taraji P. Henson were in Hidden Figures, before Ben Schwartz was Sonic the Hedgehog, and before Judy Greer stuck ping pong balls to her body and pretended to mother a baby chimpanzee, they were all in a family dramedy? TV pilot? Lightly fictionalized autobiographical video essay?  They were all in Peep World, a motion picture from the twisted mind that brought you The Key Man.  Come for the criticism, stay for a very scientific Other Segment (see figure 1 below)!

I love the spell of ape film in the morning.  Smells like a new episode of 96 Greers!  Last summer, Patrick and Barry watched Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, followed by a whimsical Other Segment-- and a harrowing Judilization.  This year, they're being called back to the combat zone, for one last entry in an iconic, decades-spanning science fiction  franchise:  War for the Planet of the Apes.  Do the philosophical questions asked by these movies support justice for the oppressed, or present an argument for eco-fascism?  Does the real-world context of an actor's career decision have an impact on the artistic merit of the role? Why cookie Rocket?  These questions-- and more-- discussed!