A story just came out about a guy who was using a hi-tech chastity belt . . . and hackers were able to get into it, lock it remotely, and hold his junk for ransom. He decided not to pay them the $1,000 they wanted, and used bolt cutters to remove the belt . . . and he cut his junk in the process.

Just a year after Toys "R" Us re-opened two stores, both are permanently closing because of the pandemic. And even Levi's is recognizing that after the pandemic, the future is sweatpants. They launched their first-ever line of sweatpants last year, and they now say the pants sold SO WELL they're planning an even bigger collection of them this year.

There's a 3-disc collection out there called "Now That's What I Call Dad Rock", and the track list is all over the place. It includes artists ranging from The Rolling Stones, ZZ Top, and Motorhead to Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, and Natalie Imbruglia.

Let's try to sum up the recent stock market madness in one sentence. A group of amateur investors saw an opportunity to make a lot of money if they all invested in GameStop, at the expense of a hedge fund that was betting GameStop's stock would go down . . . and now, billions of dollars later, hedge funds are crying to Congress to change the laws so they keep their power on Wall Street.

A 24-year-old guy tried to rob a gas station in Slovakia on Tuesday and could have gotten away. But then a 36-year-old woman in the store offered to give him ORAL FAVORS while employees called the cops. And she kept him there long enough for police to show up and arrest him.

Here's the latest random Covid shortage: GRAPE-NUTS. Basically, they're out of stock everywhere because of high demand and shouldn't be fully back on shelves until the spring.

A list of the most rewatchable recent shows includes: "Veep", "Fleabag", "Schitt's Creek", "New Girl", "Breaking Bad", and "The Office".

There's a viral TikTok video right now where a guy makes a batch of mashed potatoes out of Lay's potato chips. He dumps bags of Lay's into boiling water, stirs them up, then tries a bite and says they're DELICIOUS.

Book sales are way up during the pandemic . . . not necessarily because people want to read them, but because they want to fill up the bookshelves behind them in their Zoom calls. And a jobs expert from Wales is going viral after she appeared on a BBC News broadcast discussing unemployment . . . without realizing that a very large, anatomically correct LOVE TOY was visible on the bookshelf behind her.