Quick, Theophiloi! Name your favorite Apostle! Okay, good, now we know who among you cannot be trusted, because anyone who said Andrew is a liar. My dude is boring as all h*ck except for the part where Andrew's friend goes completely John Wick on a bunch of dudes who are trying to recreate the cover to Uncanny X-Men #251. That might not sound very appealing, but… well, it's a good show anyway. Promise.

Topics of Discussion: The importance of being furnace, vampires fighting each other and why we're not talking about that, The Discourse, the Parricide Bag, a vehicle, doesthedoggetbadeintoadryandbarrenplaceandhurtnomanuntilthelastday.com, playing the miracle hits, Chris still being mad about blog comments from like 13 (!) years ago, Adamantis, the best name, triangles, the nicest time to pray, Stratocles, the worst possible typo.

Hymnal: "X-Men" by Ron Wasserman, "Winner Takes It All" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church.

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17