I'm feeling really happy with myself at the moment. It's almost ten o'clock at night, and I have just finished a DIY project that has been (1)hanging over me for close to a year. It really wasn't anything very difficult or complicated, just time consuming. The task was simply to hook up a bathroom sink. "Not a big deal," some of you might say. And that is correct; it's not really a big deal at all. Now, I already have a bathroom sink, and that was the problem. The pressure was off. However, I have two bathrooms, and the second one wasn't finished. When 2024 ended and we entered into 2025, then the guilt hit me. I have been in my condo for a year and I've been too lazy to finish the second bathroom. So, I thought I would start this new year with a better attitude, and do the annoying, fiddly job of securing the sink to the wall and hooking it up. I'm hoping that my proactivity will set the tone for this year. Because the condominium where I live was totally renovated, I have lots of tools, pipes, wires, and other useful things left over. I have still a huge bag of plumbing equipment. I suppose it is inevitable that after a big renovation, there will be lots of extra, unused materials. But what I have is ridiculous. You could say (2)"Pipes galore!" Honestly, I have enough plumbing stuff to hook up about seven more sinks.

In the future, AI should be able to help us plan these kinds of expensive projects with great efficiency, so we don't overspend. If you are an extremely organized person, which I'm not, the leftovers probably wouldn't be an issue. It's good, I think, to have extra wood in the garage. It can be expensive nowadays, and it's great material for quickly (3)whipping up some shelves or a box. As an English learner, I'm sure there will be lots of vocabulary that is unfamiliar to you about building, renovating, and the materials used. For example, do you know what a 'nut' is? How about a 'washer'? And a bracket? Well, the three things I mentioned are made out of metal. The first two are classed as 'fasteners' - small metal items of 'hardware' that hold things together. A bracket can also be made of wood and usually has a 90 degree angle, looks like an 'L', and holds up a shelf. You know, I have learned a lot of new English vocabulary myself this year during the renovation! Obviously there is a name for everything! Well, now that I know more, I can certainly teach you a handful of the most commonly used tools and materials that we use for DIY in my future podcasts.

• 1. 'Hanging over me' indicates pressure or a burden of some kind. There are many other ways of saying this, such as: 'that is on my back/ on my shoulders', or 'that's weighing me down.'
• a. I have a huge essay for my English class that is hanging over me. I can't wait to get it finished!
• b. After her friend got fired, the fear of losing her job was hanging over her.
• 2. 'Pipes galore'. Any noun can go in front of 'galore' to indicate that there is a lot of something. It has a celebratory tone to it, but can be used sarcastically as well.
• a. She loves to paint. You enter her house and see paintings galore!
• b. Look at my mail; it's just bills galore!
• 3. 'To whip up' just like whipping eggs, you quickly create something, including influence.
• a. We were all starving after the race, so I whipped up a mushroom omelette in no time.
• b. At the protest rally, the speaker whipped up a lot of anger.

There are few things as relaxing as walking on a beach. I don't think many people would argue with that. And when I say "beach", it could mean either next to the ocean, a lake, or a river. I walked on a beach on a little island that juts out from the shore in one of the parks we have here in Wenatchee. The Riverfront park follows the Columbia river for eleven miles, then crosses a bridge and continues on the otherside for another eleven. So, it is basically a long park that was built right next to the river. As such, there are many beaches of different sizes, some accessible and sandy, others less accessible and muddy. A dog walkers favorite in this park is this long, thin peninsula of sand that runs parallel to the river. The breeds of dogs that love to swim and fetch sticks and balls from the river, have made this their own special spot.

I'm not sure what the name of the beach is, but I do know that a few special creatures enjoy what it has to offer. There are certain dogs that live for water. Even in the winter, their owners will take them to this peninsula, and the dogs jump with excitement and cannot wait until their masters throw the ball or the stick into the water. They run as fast as they can and jump into the water to fetch whatever was thrown. It's amazing and impressive. I wouldn't dream of swimming in the Columbia in this season. Believe it or not, once recently, when I was walking in the park, I saw a group of four ladies meet up on that same beach, remove their outer clothes, (they had swimming suits underneath), put their swimming caps on, and wade out into the water. They swam up river and didn't act horrified by the cold at all. Very strange creatures I think. It certainly is a special spot.

Being next to any body of water is, I think, very relaxing, even if it is in the middle of winter. Opposite the peninsula are a few little muddy bays where small, bent trees grow down to the water's edge. Ducks live here all year round. There must be enough shelter and food there to support them. They take advantage of the sunny days by warming themselves on the sand where there is no snow, until, that is, the dogs chase them away. Those enthusiastic swimming dogs love to chase their fellow swimmers, especially the ducks. The wings win though, don't they? Somehow the dogs don't remember that, and whenever they see ducks, they try again to chase them. There are thousands of paw prints on the sand of this little peninsula, and each is a little testament to a happy dog, doing what he loves to do most.

There is a place like no other for a brief get away from where I live. If you don't mind a twenty minute drive on a highway that goes into a deep forest, then this is the right place. 97 Rock House is the name of this coffee roasting, food serving establishment. It's not your average quick stop for a coffee. A lot of hard work went into its design and decor. The theme of 'rock' is carried into the interior, which has a stoney, wooden cabin (1)vibe. It has high ceilings, garage doors for windows, (2) heavy duty stringed lights, and even artificial gems embedded in its rock walls. Live music takes place regularly, and it also sells merchandise. The usual behavior of someone who walks in for the first time is to look up at the ceiling, and then all around the walls, to the doors and floor. Generally, you'll hear them say, "Wow!" or "That's neat!"

"Wow!" is something I always think when I look at the cookies in the glass display cabinet. They are huge and heavy, probably weighing half a pound. I know this from experience. My mother refuses to buy her coffee from anywhere else. What a luxury! In fact, recently we went there three times (3)in a row to get their freshly roasted Arabica beans. At the first attempt, there had been a sudden snowfall and they had closed early. The next day, my mother chose ground coffee instead of beans, and we didn't realize until we had driven all the way home. As coffee is one of the only luxuries that are actually worthwhile, we had to get it right, so we went back the third day in a row. Talk about two coffee enthusiasts! It's funny when she buys her coffee because she will purchase seven or eight packets (4)in one go. Needless to say, some people raise their eyebrows or give questioning looks, as if my mother were a hermit who lives deep in the forest and only comes out into civilization every few months for her supplies.

1. 'A + adj + vibe' means a style of environment or a type of feeling.

a. She renovated the apartment and now it has a French cottage vibe.

b. Last night's party had a great, relaxed vibe.

*A note about 'vibe', it is common now also to describe an event or a place as 'a vibe' to say it is fun or enjoyable.

c. Do you like French class? Yes, its a vibe.

2. 'Heavy-duty' describes something that has been manufactured to be tough/ strong/ long lasting. It can be used figuratively.

a. That is a heavy duty rope; it is used a lot on fishing boats.

b. The suspension on that truck is heavy duty; it can withstand a lot of abuse.

c. (Figuratively): My final exam was heavy duty.

3. 'A number + times in a row' means consecutive occurances, one immediately after the previous one with a specified total amount of times. (What a mouthful!)

a. They performed the concert four times in a row on the same day!

b. They have been late to school five days in a row.

4. '(All) in one go' means all at once. 'All' is optional.

a. You need to swallow your medicine all in one go.

b. He cleaned his whole apartment all in one go.

*Note when it comes to watching television or eating, you can also use the phrase 'in one sitting.' Probably because you're sitting down to both watch tv and eat.

c. They ate the pizza and the lasagne in one sitting.

It's already 2025. Can you believe it? The celebrations for the New Year came and went so fast! Typically I don't do much on New Year's Eve during the day, but this year, or should I say 'last year' I did a lot. I worked a little in the morning, and then, in the afternoon I checked online to see if there were any yoga classes available at my local gym. Most of the teachers at the gym were already on vacation, so my expectations were low, but there was one. "Great!" I thought to myself, "I'll be able (1)to stretch out my stiff hips, and get (2)nice and loose for the New Year." I quickly got changed , filled up a water bottle, and (3)headed out of the door. Just as I was turning on the car, my son texted me, "Mum, do you want to go for a walk?" Well, I realized I would be doing more exercise than I had planned, which isn't a bad thing, of course. "Sure," I replied. "I'll be back at 5:45 after yoga."

When I reached the gym, there was already quite a large group of people gathering outside of the yoga room. They were taking off shoes and hanging up coats. "Help yourself to wine!" said the yoga teacher loudly, with a big smile on her face, as she raced past us to get something before the start of the class. "Wine?" I thought. "What is wine doing in a yoga class?" I walked in, and there on a little table were four bottles: Prosecco, sparkling apple cider, and two other drinks. I poured myself a glass of wine, got a yoga mat, and walked to my spot carefully, to avoid stepping on the many candles that were spread all over the floor. This was really festive, and the best part was that it was unexpected. My fellow yoga participants, who are usually very quiet, started to chat, laugh a bit, and losen up. The typical wine jokes started to flow: "I should come to this class more often," said one person. "If I do the downward facing dog wrong today, I'll just tell him 'Namaste'," said another with a giggle. We were already loose before we had even started! What a great idea, and what a lovely way to wrap up the year! At the end of the class, the yoga teacher told us how her favorite part of 2024 was teaching this class. We exchanged our appreciation of eachother, feeling very lucky that we had this opportunity all year long. So we raised our glasses, and all said "Cheers!"

1. 'To stretch out' really means just to stretch. You know how much, in English, we use prepositions. It's a little crazy, actually. LIke the phrase 'to tidy up'. There really is no need to say 'up'. It's more for the mood, a sense of completion and satisfaction. a. The physical therapist taught me how to stretch (out) my shoulders and hips. b. We stretched out the rope to measure it.
2. 'Nice and +adjective,' is an idiom, a short one based on the adjective 'nice'. 'Nice and' in this idiom aren't necessary, but as in other idioms, they convey a subtle sense or feeling. They stand for a word like 'pleasingly.' a. When we got home, the house was nice and warm. b. You worked hard to clean the house. I can see that it is nice and tidy!
3. 'To head out' means to exit or leave. It's a very casual phrase. Sometimes 'out' is left out. a. Are you heading out? I would take your umbrella. b. Did John leave already? Yes, he headed to the store two hours ago.

Lights, decorations, games, there are so many photos in my camera of the recent Christmas celebrations. For me, it is one of the best times of the year. And it has been that way since I was little. A Christmas tree is a staple of the festivities. Strings of lights also keep the darker season jolly. Santa, on the other hand, (1)is a different matter. I've never liked him that much, to tell you the truth. My dad actually used to dress up as Santa and carry a big bag of presents to the tree, saying "Ho! Ho! Ho!" in a very dad voice. Well, of course I knew that it was him. It was very sweet of him to put on the performance. I prefer snowmen. In the UK and here in the States, snowmen are everywhere during Christmas, real ones and toy ones. When my children were little, I had a tradition of placing snowmen up the stairs, one on each step. Another tradition is making cloved oranges, patterns of cloves pushed into the orange skin. My mother has done it for years. This year it was my oldest son who bought the supplies and organized us around the table. It was a very relaxing time of crafting and chatting.

I suppose, when I think about it, a lot of what I enjoy about the Christmas season, is the beauty and art. More of an effort is made by people to beautify the environment. And music is everywhere. The whole atmosphere is celebratory, with so many events to look forward to. My church, like most in the valley, is decorated with greenery and candles, and has carol services, and a calendar of practices to prepare us for the celebration on December 25th. I think that, more than any other time during the year, faith and hope are beautifully displayed, (2)taking precedence over work. I know that commercialism rears its ugly head, and shops overdo the decorations and music just to make money. However, for those of us who take the celebration seriously, its time for freedom and expression. Inside my home, like a busy mouse, I rush around placing wreaths here, and garlands there. Ornaments and lights go up, and candles and decorations are placed in corners and hung on the walls. Its a busy time! And I do it all because I love it. I don't want to take it down. Some years, I've left the decorations up until Spring. I don't think I'll do that this year, but I'll definitely let them linger through the snowy months.

Grammar Points.

• 1. ..'is a different matter' is a sign of contradiction, or opposing opinion to what has just been stated.
• a. I can lend him some money, but lending him my car is a different matter.
• b. Doing yoga is fine, but leading a yoga class is a different matter!
• 2. 'To take precedence over' means to be more important than.
• a. For a while, his studies took precedence over his social life.
• b. In a car accident, a patient's life takes precedence over the car or insurance questions.
• 3. Christmas vocabulary practice:
• Wreath wreaths
• Garland
• Strings of lights
• Frosted greenery.
• Candles.

The sky, when I woke up this morning, was a blurry white all over, not of snow, just a layer of cloud with the light of the sun behind it. It was a dreamy look, nothing like the blue sky, bright sun, and streets and houses covered in snow that we have had recently. I was tempted to stay in bed. I remembered, however, that there is a Saturday morning yoga class just up the road at 9 o'clock. "Should I go, or shouldn't I?" went back and forth in my head. I realized that exercising first thing in the morning would be better than staying in bed, and I would feel energized probably for most of the day afterwards. So, I threw on(1) some comfortable clothes, brushed my teeth, poured my tea into a flask, and off I went.

There was friendly chatter in the yoga room when I walked in. It was already quite full. Some people were stretching on their mats, others talked in pairs, and some typed on their smart phones. Soon we were moving, breathing, and stretching obediently as the teacher instructed us: downward dog, tree pose, sun salutation, and warrior one. The names of the poses are so interesting; they paint a picture, which actually really helps you when you are trying, perhaps wobbling and straining, to get a pose right. As the session drew to an end(2), we were doing our shavasana, or the quiet, mindful state that we finish in, and our teacher said, "Happy Winter Solstice!" "Oh yes!" I thought to myself. "Now, that is good news!" Her words seemed to excite the whole class. What a great thing to be reminded of first thing in the morning. Being late December, of course, it gets dark early, about 4:30pm. That's rough for most of us. But from today, the days will get longer and longer; the sunset will be later. This happens because today, December 21st, the northern hemisphere is tilted the furthest away from the sun that it will be all year. Because of that, the day is the shortest. So, from now on, we can look forward to a few more rays of sunshine to help us through the rest of winter.

Grammar Points.

• 1. 'To throw on clothes'. I know its a bit odd to think of throwing something at yourself' usually we throw away from ourselves. But I think the sense of 'throw' here is that we dress so quickly, it is as if our hands are just throwing the clothes at our bodies.

a. Just before I left for work, I threw on my coat. I could sense that it would rain soon.

b. She never looks smart; she just throws anything on before she goes to work.

• 2. 'To draw to an end' is a wonderful, quite poetic way of saying that something is slowly ending, closing, finishing. This comes from a marvelous Old English word 'dragan' which means to pull or drag. So you can see an image of something slowly dragging on the ground to reach a certain end point.

a. As winter draws to an end, many people feel like thoroughly cleaning their homes.

b. As his speech drew to an end, people came up to get his autograph.

I wasn't sure, starting this podcast, about the title. "I love Turkey, part one" is very basic, and sounds like a child is saying it. But, honestly, I can't think of another because my recent trip to Turkey left me both astonished and dying to go back. I had only done a little research about the country before I left, so I confess that I was quite ignorant about it. Unfortunately, (1)add to that the fact that in secondary school we were not taught anything about Turkey, and you get a picture of just how ignorant I was before my trip. My father had the good fortune of working in Turkey when I was a baby. He loved his experience! "I like the Turkish people," he said. "Very direct and friendly as long as you are polite. There's no messing with them." I found that to be true. People in general were very warm and helpful, very Mediterranean, like my Spanish family.

I travelled for ten days with my son, Cass, who had already been there for a couple of weeks. We went to Istanbul, Cappadocia, and Izmir. What a tapestry of beauty and history it was! I was impressed, the first day, by the massive river, the Bosphorus. There was a constant coming and going of fishing boats of (2)all sizes, and avid fishermen on the bridge all day, even into the evening. From our hotel, early in the morning, after waking to the morning prayers, I would climb the stairs to the roof and watch the boats with their twinkling lights move back and forth as the city woke up. And then there were the mosques, of course. We only had time to visit the Blue Mosque, and the Hagia Sophia. The latter made quite an impact on me. It is a UNESCO World Heritage site which is about 2000 years old. For almost a millenium it was the largest cathedral in the Christian faith. It was a center for political, artistic, and religious life. Then after 1453, when Sultan Mehmed 2nd conquered Constantinople, it was designated a mosque and remained one for almost 500 years. A friendly security guard, called Umut, gave us an impromptu tour and explained much of this history.

And then, there were the cats. I am a cat-lover, so I can say, with authority, that it was a cat-lover's paradise. I have never seen so many, and with such a variety of fur colors and patterns. They were all so well looked after. And this was the case everywhere I went in Turkey. The cats are basically spoiled! Apparently, the prophet Mohamed declared that cats are clean, and so this humane routine of meeting all of their needs is practiced all over Turkey. I bet the mice and rats are not too happy. There must be armies of cats at night that (3)decimate the rodents. On a quick trip to the east side of Instanbul, in Asia, we came across a cat hotel. It was a large metal box-like structure that only cats could get in, with stacks and rows of individual sleeping compartments. And on the floor was food and water. I've never seen anything like it. There is so much to tell, and still so much to know about this fascinating country that I certainly cannot fit it all into one podcast. The Bosphorus, the Hagia Sophia, and the cats were my first experiences of Turkey. In my next podcasts you will find many more.

Grammar Points.

• 1. 'Add to that...' is a great way of extending a sentence by including more information. It definitely gives a sense of emphasizing a point.
• a. She has never worked. Add to that her lazy attitude, and you can see why I think she will not keep this new job.
• b. After being outside for hours in the freezing rain, the protesters were not happy. Add to that the transportation strike, so the protesters couldn't get home!
• 2. 'All sizes' or 'all shapes and sizes' are wonderful phrases in English that give an upbeat tone about the variety in life.
• a. My customers come in all shapes and sizes. Some are nice, some, not so nice. You never know what you're going to get.
• b. People are like fruit, they come in all shapes and sizes. And while some are quite sweet, others are downright sour!
• 3. The verb 'to decimate' is a strong sounding verb of violence. It means to utterly reduce, or severely weaken.
• a. The city was decimated by the hurricane.
• b. The disease decimated the wheat crop and so prices for flour went sky high.

I have discovered a local (1)haunt that I have (2)made my own: Steamer's West. It's a cafe/ restaurant I can pop into in between my interpreting jobs for a quick bite to eat. It's a simple place, actually a converted mechanical garage. It has been renovated to be appropriate for serving food, but has maintained the two large mechanic shop doors, and its very basic structure. It's only open until 3pm every day, and it swarms with customers until then. That's a good sign, I think. The simple, clean food and good quality coffee keep the humans coming back. There is a quaint outdoor seating area that overlooks Memorial Park which is considered the center of Wenatchee. You remember, the park with the splendid trees. The doggy people of this town can bring their pets, enjoy the view, and socialize. After a quick break here, I can head back to work and get there within a few minutes. There is a second good reason I come here regularly: my daughter works here. We get to chat a little as she operates the espresso machine, and, occasionally, she will give me a free cookie. Now that's a ritual I certainly approve of. My little routine here is on my list of what I call 'The simple pleasures in life.'

The founders of Starbucks had as one of the premises of their company the human need for 'a third place.' By that, I mean that apart from home and work, we need a third place where we can hang out and feel at home. Gordon Bowker, Jerry Baldwin, and Zev Siegl were influenced by a Dutch entrepreneur who introduced them to the coffee culture which we have had for centuries in Europe. He showed them high quality roasting techniques, and they (3) married that with the place with atmosphere where people like to linger. I actually remember when Starbucks really became big in the early 90's. Since their tremendous growth then, the United States has adopted what I call 'a cafe expansion.' There are cafes everywhere that are designed to be 'the third place' in almost every community. They are an upgrade, I would say, to the well known American diner which was more of a restaurant. Now you can find swarms of online business owners filling these cafes, working at their laptops whilst sipping coffee., as well as groups of friends and retirees who get together for a good chat. Its a real evolution of culture, and a much nicer place to write podcasts than at my kitchen table.

Grammer points.

• 1. 'A local haunt' is a wonderful, I would say slightly comical expression about a place a person likes to go to. Obviously only a ghost haunts a place, but I think it is because of the implied frequency of visits that the place of choice is described as the noun 'a haunt', meaning the place that is visited.
• a. The Fox and Crown pub has been our haunt for over thirty years.
• b. That abandoned house became a haunt for groups of teenagers up to no good.
• 2. To 'make your/my own' means to take possession of either literally or figuratively. In the podcast I say that Steamer's West has been made my own. Obviously I don't own it; it simply means that I have emotionally adopted it, I like it, and I frequent it.
• a. With a bit of creativity, the lady took the secondhand cabinet and made it her own by painting a beautiful fresco on it.
• b. We recently discovered a small secluded park in the neighborhood, and we have made it our own.
• 3. 'To marry something with something else' is the same in meaning as to join or connect very suitably.
• a. The chef married the roast beef with a slightly spicy red wine sauce.
• b. The teacher successfully marries important content with exciting delivery.

Peace. Imagine this: a cool evening, a quiet street, no one around, birds already asleep in the darkened trees, a blanket on the grass, the stars appearing overhead, and a cat by your side. Can you feel it? My cup of decaf is already cold, ignored. I'm too enthralled by what I can see and feel. The moon is not full tonight, but is extremely bright. My mind (1)wanders over the night sky, until I sense the warmth of the quiet feline who has placed himself gently next to me. The nights here in North Central Washington are like a sensory sanctuary, at least for me. When the farenheits dip down into the lower seventies and then continue to decrease, I can finally surface. Even my mother, who is from Spain, doesn't make an appearance outside until it is cool enough. Everything about me seems to resist the extreme heat of the day; I must be the opposite of a lizzard. (2)There is no basking on a rock for me. The shade is what I like. And so, of course, night time is even better. It surprises me, actually, that more people are not outside. In the UK, if ever we get a warm or dry evening, most people make the most of it by staying outside, either eating, drinking in a pub, or just lingering with friends and family. It's a rare treat.

So, here I am with my feet on the grass, trying to figure out the constellations. Finley, the brightest of my two cats, is staring at the moon. I wonder if he is sensing a connection to that celestial body. These night animals are special creatures, you know. Watching him basking in his most active time, the night, I realize how Finley is really part of another world. He is nocturnal, and comes alive once the sun has gone down. All his senses go into full gear when the day is over. As my body slows down in the evening in preparation for sleep, (3)his is doing the opposite. If you have a cat, you will have seen this happen. Their pupils dilate, their tales slash from side to side, and they become impatient. The time of dreams and visions falls upon humans, while the primordial instinct to explore, to stalk, and to hunt takes possession of cats. Our little tigers. It makes me realize that only half of my twenty-four hour day is of my dominion, the other half is quite a mystery. What do I really know about the stars, the phases of the moon, or the creatures that are active at night? Not much really. And what of the great subconscious that emerges while our limited consciousness gets sleepy? Lying here, it feels like the damp grass, the soft breeze, the vast sky above, and the movement of animals in the shadows, is all a perfect reflection of my internal world, and the change from one dominion to another: consciousness to subconsciousness, day to night, a beautiful balance of life in one turn of the planet.

Grammar Points.

• 1. 'Wander' and 'wonder'. They sound exactly the same, sorry. Of course, they are 2 verbs with very different meanings.
• a. He wandered here and there for ten years, until he found a town where he felt comfortable enough to settle down.
• b. I'm just wondering if I should buy the sofa now, or wait until the sales.
• 2. 'There is no basking on a rock for me.' A very effective structure of a sentence where you name the opposite activity that you either do or promote. It can be used with objects instead of verbs as well.
• a. There is no consuming of sugar in this house!
• b. There is no rude language in this class!
• 3. 'As my body slows down in the evening in preparation for sleep, his is doing the opposite.' This is a similar way of using a simple opposite (here using the actual word 'opposite') to make your emphasis.
• a. As the weary lighthouse keeper in the early morning finished his work and prepared to sleep, the fishermen in the bay were doing the opposite.
• b. He was always trying to help; she was the opposite.

"My soul has been tested today," is a saying that a friend of mine uses on a regular basis. Sometimes, when problems pile up, it feels that way, doesn't it? Of course, some are more serious than others; we know that. Some, however, are just downright bothersome, annoying, frustrating. I could go on. So, I am nearing the end of the renovation of my condominium. I still have a lot to do in the garage in order to transform it into something wonderful and useable. The last few steps needed inside my living area are to carpet the stairs, and to put the shower in my bathroom. For a year I have been working with a nationally known home improvement company for all of my renovation needs, and more recently carpetting has been the order of the day. I went through the normal steps of bringing samples of carpet home, choosing the one I preferred, ordering it, and having the stairs measured. The day came for the installation. I had to go to work, but my mother was at home and would deal with the workmen coming in and out. I imagined coming home to a lovely new carpet, and that thought made me happy, happier than I had been at the first attempt. I need to explain a short back story.

Two months previously, after having jumped through the necessary hoops to get my stairs carpetted, I found myself counting down the hours until the install. With a carpet finally on the stairs, that part of the house, at least, would feel complete, look clean and organized, and have that comfortable feel that only soft material gives. I was in and out for work, but was planning on driving home directly to see the finished product as soon as I could. As I waited in the spine clinic to see my next patient, the phone rang:

"Miss Casswell? This is Juan, the installer. I'm so sorry, but I don't know what happened. I was ready to install your carpet, but when I went to pick it up, uh......,it wasn't there."

"I'm sorry Juan, I don't understand. What do you mean "It wasn't there"?"

"Well, the warehouse told me that it had arrived, but no one could find it. We looked for two hours...I don't know what happened. I guess you'll have to reorder. I'm so sorry."

I was disappointed, but also curious and perturbed about how a whole roll of carpet could go missing. Had it been stolen? Had it been installed in someone else's house without them realizing it was the wrong one? Had the carpet-stealing-elves been busy? Or more likely, had the carpet not been ordered? Later that evening, as I sat in the carpet department of Lowes, I was told that nobody knew what had happened. I had paid for the carpet, and waited a month for its arrival, but a mystery had taken place within the home improvement store, as they do every now and again. "Weird, huh?" chuckled the employee, raising his shoulders, his eyes dilated. Suspicious body language, I thought. So I reordered the same carpet, knowing that it would take at least a month to arrive.

The day came, finally, for the baby's arrival, at least that is what it had come to feel like. Juan the installer was back and busy stapling in the pad that goes underneath the carpet. I didn't have to work until later, so I hung out with my mum downstairs until his noisy work had finished. "Miss Anna," said Juan walking towards me. "Just to double check that this is the correct carpet, here is a sample." I looked down at the small, triangular piece of carpet he was offering me. No. No. "Oh great," I said to myself.

"I'm sorry Juan, that is not my carpet. I would have never have ordered blue /grey."

"Are you sure, Miss Anna?" Juan said weakly, realizing that he probably shouldn't have bothered asking me that question.

"It's completely the wrong color Juan. I'm sorry your time was wasted."

So, you're probably wondering if I have my flipping carpet yet or not. Well, I don't. I became very comfortable walking on the plastic foam pad. However, after two months of doing that I realized that I needed to launch myself a third time into the mysterious, risky world of carpet installation. "A third time lucky," we English people say in many contexts, meaning that you must keep trying. So, the third order has been given. Maybe the process this time will produce an actual carpet on the stairs. Maybe it won't. If I ever get a carpet, I think I will curl up on it half way up the stairs, like a cat, and take a happy nap. But, shhhhh, we should keep it quiet; we don't want the carpet elves to find out.