Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny. – Author Unknown
This little poem, attributed to various authors, has been floating around the internet for years. It simply and beautifully illuminates the power of our thoughts and our words to create our destiny. Wow. No small statement there. You’d think given that realization, we might be a bit more mindful of what comes our of our mouths or spills onto the page. And yet, very few of us make ourselves accountable at the level of our thoughts and our words.
Watch Your Words
Are we monitoring them? Are we aware of the message they may send out and what we may bring back in as a result?
What we think about we bring about.
Words are so powerful and reflect our thoughts. Here are 8 words commonly used in our everyday conversations with ourselves and others that we need to monitor and change in order to bring about the future we really desire.
The heart of the problem is making that connection between what we think and say and what eventually shows up in our lives. The gap between those initial thoughts and a specific outcome can seem vast and unrelated, lulling us into a state of complacency and laziness, and leaving us unprepared for what’s to come. Better to begin right now assuming that EVERYTHING we think has an impact — no exceptions — than to continue to randomly throw ideas and words around that may come back to bite us.
Given that we have millions of thoughts a day, the idea of becoming accountable for them is rather daunting, to say the least. Obviously, anyone who has ever tried to meditate knows that we cannot stop our thoughts. At best, we can watch them, the way one would watch a ticker tape at the bottom of a television screen. We can also choose which ones to pay attention to and invest in.
That is where their potential to impact our lives begins. You feed and nurture and give life to a thought by paying attention to it. You starve it by ignoring it. Your accountability starts when you make the decision to feed or starve a thought. Once you invest in it and then communicate about it, you’ve given it life — that is when is moves from a random stream flowing through you into the arena of creation. That is where the potential to do good or harm begins.
Once you know this, there is no turning back. You are not responsible for the thoughts that exist in your being; you are responsible for what you do with them. The origins of your destiny are found right here. To restate it simply: your life is about what you put your attention on. At all times, in all circumstances, we have a choice about how to shape our destiny.
So watch your thoughts. Choose carefully. And if something slips by, by all means, watch your words.
Here are 8 "little" words, that will be a BIG difference
1.Try
“I’ll try to get it finished by…” “I’ll try to catch up with you on Saturday”
Whenever I hear someone saying this, or even myself, then I know that they are not serious and it is not going to happen.
Try is a wishy-washy word that is devoid of commitment, leaving wide open space for excuses to creep in and get in your way. No one created the life of their dreams and positive results by trying. They got theirs by doing and making it happen.
Make a clearer commitment instead by saying “I’ll have it done by…” “I am free at this time and I can meet you then…” or if need be, “I can’t promise anything but I will do my best to ….”
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2. Wish
Wishing is sitting on your couch daydreaming, waiting for your lotto ball to drop or the fairy godmother to appear. Wish removes yourself from the equation and tells you that you have to rely on the powers that be.
Change wish to “I will…” “I am…” I’m determined….” “I deserve…” “I desire”
3. I am
Be very careful how you use the term “I am” to define who you are. You are not angry; you are not depressed, you are not happy. All of these things are temporary emotions that come and go. If you define yourself as being this way then that identity can have a tendency to stick and what will follow will be excuses such as “I can’t do this because I am depressed” and “There is nothing I can do about it, this is who I am.”
A better way to say it is “I feel angry. I feel depressed”
This lets you know that it is a temporary feeling that could quite easily change.
4. If
How many times do you mutter, “If I get that promotion then…” “If the money arrives then…”
“If” always presents the element of doubt. Doubt and insecurity don’t bring you what you want, certainty and confidence does. So instead of “if”, simply make it “when”
“When I get that new job…. “
When signals that you are serious and committed and you believe that what you deserve is on its way to you.
5. Should
Again a wishy-washy promise word. “I should call my mother more.” “I should go to the gym tonight.” Should is rife with feelings of guilt and complacency.
You know you are never going to do it and by somehow saying that you recognize you should make you feel better. It doesn’t really; the only thing that makes you feel better is doing it.
Should can be turned in to “I will…” or “I am going to…”
6. I can’t
This is one of those words that can be debated. We’ve all heard there is no such thing as can’t. Well, there is really, I can’t sing. I really can’t. I’m dreadful. But you know what, I can try or I can learn.
As soon as your brain hears you say the word can’t, it goes on a holiday. It shuts down and celebrates because it no longer has to find a way to do it. “I can try” means that you open up a creative space for learning and exploring that may just bring you new ways of thinking and doing.
When my daughter says “Mummy, I can’t,” my response is, “Maybe, but you can always try first and see. Let’s have a go!”
7. Desperate
When we really want something there is a tendency to attach the word desperate to it, as if this word will hold some power to bring it to us faster.
“I am desperate for him to call me” “I am in desperate need of a transfer.”
Desperation breeds more things to be desperate about. It is not an attractive word.
Instead, say “I am so excited that he is going to be calling me tonight. “I really desire a transfer and am ready to go!”
8. Luck
Ugh. This is my least favourite word. If you always for other people’s success off as luck, you are doing two really bad things
1) Not recognizing and appreciating all the hard work they have put into bringing about the life they desire
But more importantly
2) You are saying that it is not possible for you. So you give up before you even start creating the life you want. You think it will only happen to you if a genie appears. This is such a lie. You can have whatever you desire as long as you are willing to do what it takes to get it.
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Choose your words carefully and you’ll soon learn that you can be, do, and have whatever you want.
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XX,
Sonya
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Design your Life, your way Accountability Coach
NLP, HWL, PTS
Accountability Coach ~ I help you keep your promises to yourself.
Taking your life from unbearable to unstoppable. xo
Author, Podcaster, Certified Coach
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