A Life, Folded

Do you ever feel like you are an other? That the only people in the world who are truly happy are married individuals? Statistics show that in the United States there are equal numbers of married and single people. So why do we feel different? Pain and trauma play a factor. As do movies, books, and tv. "Helpful" friends and family members actually don't help when they say they just want you to be happy...and that means in a relationship. We all get to choose our life path and what that looks like. We all have a place at the table of happiness. No matter what our marital status may be. 

#alifefolded #singlelife #happysingle #happysinglelife

There are an estimated one billion narcissists and Cluster B personality-disordered individuals on our planet right  now. Why do they seem to relish ruining important events? Birthday parties, graduations, family gatherings, vacations, nothing is sacred or immune to their pouting, anger, and outright rage. Even, and sometimes especially, big milestone events in their own children's lives. But if we have knowledge, expect these behaviors, and have a plan for how to respond, we take back our power and peace. 

#alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic

Whether we are actively dating or not, it behooves every single person to draw up a list of non-negotiables for a potential future partner. This list may include things like values, attractiveness, success, intellect, and spirituality. However, let's not forget about the most important part of those non-negotiables: you! You may have spent a lifetime where you felt you had to earn love or prove yourself to be lovable. But this is simply not true. Rather than begging or working so hard to prove to a potential partner that you are worth chasing, how about we decide now that if a person isn't showing clear interest, that is a non-negotiable. Love should not be difficult, confusing, and leave you feeling like you will be rejected by simply having basic human needs. You deserve more.

#alifefolded #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #selflovematters #selfcare #datingafterdivorce #datingafterbetrayal

We often extol boundaries in the context of who gets to communicate with you, who is allowed to spend time with you, and how you rest and practice self-care. But, what about listening boundaries? Listening boundaries can be a real boon to individual, in particular, who are sensitive souls, are people pleasers, or who have survived a narcissist's smear campaign. Listening boundaries, when practiced, allow you to hear what people say and decide what you actually choose to take in and accept as truth. These boundaries allow us to not feel so devastated to the whims, words, and actions of others. 

#alifefolded #selfcare #selflove #narcissiticabuseawareness #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery

Have you ever noticed how the narcissist has to work so hard to convince the world that his or her life is *awesome*?! Is it really? No, it's not. When your life truly is blessed and wonderful, you don't have to go around convincing yourself and others about how great everything is. Understand this behavior for what it is: pure grandstanding. You, recovering from pain and sorrow, are the one with an awesome life. Because you love, enjoy true relationships, and have a tender and giving heart that can change the world. Don't you let the narcissist get in your healing headspace with their false, and often, ridiculous narrative.  

#alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic 

How do we forgive "70 times 7"? Is it even humanly possible; do we have the capacity? Sometimes, when we are trying to be too goal-oriented toward forgiveness, we make it less likely to ultimately feel satisfied by our efforts. Especially if dealing with a partner who continues to abuse and hurt. Often, we are looking to forgive the wrong person. When we work on forgiving ourselves, and giving ourselves the gifts of time and space, it can be that the forgiveness we seek to give will happen naturally while we work on healing our wounds. 

#alifefolded #forgiveness #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayalrecovery

After living through betrayal trauma and perhaps a narcissistic discard, how do you know when you are ready to date again? Or, if you will ever be ready to date again? Take the time for healing, learning about yourself, and reflection before jumping back into the dating pool. Dating is best when it is intentional and out of the desire to get to know someone, not because they may fulfill a need. Love and attachment can be "near enemies". Dating is at your own pace and in your own timing. No one can, or should try, to dictate what that timing looks like for you.

#alifefolded #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #selflovematters #selfcare #datingafterdivorce #datingafterbetrayal

Have you ever wondered, "Where are you God?" Have you felt like you have endured more than your fair share of grief and pain? That you have tried to live a good life, yet trials keep coming your way? Have you ever said, "It's enough?!" or, "What did I do to deserve this?"  We all feel this way at times, yet it is not commonly spoken about. This leads to feelings of isolation and even shame, but none of that is the truth. We all struggle with our faith and feeling overburdened and overlooked at times. You are not alone!

#alifefolded #faithcrisis #betrayaltrauma #selfcare #selflove 

It's common for a narcissistic partner to drag out the divorce process as long as they possibly can. Why? Why would they do this when they have already moved on? Why when sometimes they are actually hurting themselves with their stubborn refusal to let you move forward in your life? It's about control. It's about wreaking as much havoc as is humanly possible for the good people who have had the misfortune to love them. 

#alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic

You are not alone if you feel that you are succumbing to despair after betrayal trauma, a narcissistic discard, or both. This is a common reaction as a result of such unbearable and unbelievable pain. But, your life matters. There are reasons to go on. The world needs you and your unique gifts and talents. Please, find spaces of hope and live even if just for the next moment...the next hour. The darkness will lessen with time and you will find pockets of gratitude and happiness in your recovery journey. I promise.  

#alifefolded #yourlifematters #youarenotalone #hope #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery