A Path Home

Sarah Crews, Dani LaVoire and Michelle Acciavatti discuss grief, ethical choices, and maintaining and creating new community rituals, among other issues on this episode of A Path Home. Here are links with more information on those topics.

https://birthbreathanddeath.com/death/guest-post-more-than-a-funeral-service-mediatating-grief-during-covid-19/
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/04/opinion/coronavirus-ventilators.html

https://www.npr.org/2019/11/13/778933239/the-ventilator-life-death-and-the-choices-we-make-at-the-end

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Host Sarah Crews discusses changes to the funeral landscape since the onset of the Covid-19 crisis in the US with Elizabeth Fournier and Dani LaVoire. Elizabeth is a licensed funeral director in Oregon. Dani, the president of the National Home Funeral Alliance. 
Here is a link to an article by Josh Slocum, of the Funeral Consumer's Alliance titled, Covid-19 and the dead; facts, not fear.
https://funerals.org/covid19-and-the-dead-facts-not-fear/

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When Lucy Basler's husband, Pat, suffered a brain aneurysm and was transported from his home in Wisconsin to a large medical facility in Minnesota, the family had to navigate laws and policies in both states in order to bring his body back to the house for a home funeral.

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Sarah gives a brief overview of the laws that regulate the funeral industry and how they apply to ordinary people arranging funerals for a loved one. Reporting the death through filing a Death Certificate is required in every state. Find out whether the state you live in restricts your right to care for your own dead. Much of the content in this episode is in the book Final Rights: Reclaiming the American Way of Death (2011) by Joshua Slocum and Lisa Carlson.

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Host Sarah Crews and her cousin Gwen Wilson talk about the family coming together to provide the end-of-life and after-death care for her husband, Mark. Remarkable in this story is the experience of their oldest daughter, Sarah, a young woman with Down Syndrome, finding her path into caring for her father before and after he died, and the effect it had on her grief journey.

Here's the link to see Sarah's paintings https://artbysarahwilson.com/

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Anne Murphy, a home vigil guide, death educator and celebrant, describes what it was like to be invited to participate in the planning of Emily's home-based after death care, the vigil, memorial ceremony and subsequent green burial in a casket made of sea-grass. Emily's four year old daughter, with the loving support of her father and community, found her own way into every aspect of caring for her mother after her death.

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Robert Thurlin Alexander died while undergoing heart surgery in 2018. Robert's mother, Karen Knutson arrived in Oklahoma the night before the surgery. His sister, Tawnya Musser traveled there upon hearing that he didn't survive the surgery to arrange his home funeral at Uncle Bob's farmhouse. Robert was a tissue and cornea donor, a fact that may have given some families pause when considering having his body returned to them. Their story illustrates how reclaiming after death care, even in sudden and unexpected circumstances, can provide healing for heartbreak. 

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Margaret stepped into participating in the after-death care for two community members and her own father after learning it was possible through attending a Death Cafe in her community. Margaret's story illustrates the varying forms home funeral practice can take. It may involve collaborating with funeral professionals in your community. It may not even happen at home.
https://deathcafe.com/

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On this path home, Sarah Crews shares some helpful ideas for walking with grief through the holiday season. Sarah ends this episode with her song, I need a boat. Here are links to the resources she mentions:
https://www.refugeingrief.com/
https://johnpavlovitz.com/2015/12/18/blue-christmas-what-to-do-when-the-holidays-hurt/
https://www.centerforloss.com/
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/

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After a challenging meeting with a funeral director, Louise Comfort discovered from a friend that there was an alternative approach that felt right to her and her husband, Doug, who was dying from breast cancer. Louise shares the details of how she and Doug made plans together to care for his body at home, the celebration of life and the service that followed as Doug was laid out the library room. 

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