A Therapist Walks Into a Bar

For decades, the field of psychology has been interested in understanding the myriad creative strategies we employ to cope with life's inevitable discomforts. But right now, I wonder if I can convince you that your defense mechanisms might be the key to knowing who you are as an individual and who WE are as a collective. And maybe, just maybe the ways we defend ourselves against the things that scare us are unfairly getting a bad rap.

​I say, the best defense is the one you know.

This episode features Molly Merson, a psychotherapist in Berkeley, CA. Learn more at mollymerson.com.

Credits

Produced by: Lily Sloane

Edited by: Emily Shaw

Additional Editorial Support by: Rueben Ly & Keith Menconi

Music & Sound Design by: Lily Sloane

Episode Image: "Tauben in Stein" by mingusmutter via creative commons. Image is cropped and brightness has been adjusted.

Thank you to the Wooden Nickel and the friends and strangers at the bar who opened up to me.

For a complete transcript of the episode, visit https://www.atherapistwalksintoabar.com/the-best-defense.html

We've all got baggage. And as a psychotherapist in private practice, I help people unpack a lot of it in my office. But what if I went out looking for it? From complete strangers? In this episode, you'll learn all about the emotional baggage I collected in my Halloween costume this year.

Produced: Lily Sloane

Editorial Support: Nuala Sawyer, Dani Scoville, and Emily Shaw

Music and Sound Design: Lily Sloane

Additional Music: "Green" by Robby Kharr

Emotional Baggage Voice Actors: Aura Aguilar, Simon Batistoni, Julene Beeson, Bryce Bishari, Jessica Brown, Chris Bunting, Vince Campillo, James Greene, Aaron Gotwalt, Christine Hutchison, Caryn Kesler, Molly Merson, Gili Neglar, Hannah Paessel, Jesse Rhodes, Nuala Sawyer, Dani Scoville, Ben Sloane, Mat Stevens, Brian Thompson, Clarice Torrey, Allisa de Vogel, and Ben Ward

Clip of Esther Perel on the podcast Why Oh Why, from the "Stage a Fight" episode, used with permission by Andrea Silenzi

Episode Image: "Full of Tricks" by StefSince1985 used under creative commons license

Thank you Ben Sloane and Aura Aguilar for letting me interview you in the bar. Thank you to all the strangers and friends who shared you emotional baggage.

Here's the return of an old favorite just in time for Halloween season!

Ghosts. You’ve seen the movies, nervously giggled and gasped over the stories at slumber parties, or like me, cowered in your sleeping bag in the other room to avoid hearing about it. Maybe you’ve even had an encounter with something you’d call a ghost. According to a 2009 Pew Research Study, 18% of Americans say they’ve seen a ghost and 29% believe they’ve been in touch with the dead. That’s pretty significant, so in this episode, I'm gonna dig in and explore what it might all mean.

This episode features special guests, Kay Fahlstrom, Elaine Chan-Scherer, Melanie Kay Mitchell, and strangers found in Golden Gate Park.

Producer: Lily Sloane

Editorial support: Jesse Rhodes

Field support: Katy Bullick

Theme song: Topher M. Lewis (remixed by Lily Sloane)

Closing song: Stacey McGuirl

Additional music & sound design: Lily Sloane

Special thanks to Abby Volk and everyone else who listened to me ramble on about ghosts.

In light of the recent emboldening of white supremacist groups in the US, Seeing White II revisits the topic of whiteness as explored in Episode 1: Seeing White. What do white people need to do right now to show up and fight internalized and externalized fascism and white supremacy?

This episode features excerpts from my interview with Zara Zimbardo, adjunct faculty at California Institute of Integral Studies and co-founder of The White Noise Collective. www.conspireforchange.org

Produced By

Lily Sloane

Music + Sound Design By

Lily Sloane

"I Am Not The Angry Racist They See" Written + Read By

Christine Hutchison

Special thanks to the people who showed up to protest in San Francisco and to those who were willing to let me interview them.

Episode Image

Silver Spring #ReclaimMLK Sit-in 26 by Stephan Melkithesian used under creative commons.

Communities of gay men and the larger LGBTQ communities continue to face challenges from trauma to addiction, to ongoing discrimination. But that's not the full picture. In this episode we explore the challenges while also talking about the incredible strengths and resilience of gay men. We headed to a few bars in the Castro during Pride Week and asked some of the men we met to tell us their stories about facing – and overcoming – challenges.

The Expert

Jamie Moran is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over thirty years experience in mental health and health care settings, focusing on gay men dealing with depression, grief and loss, HIV/AIDS, family, homophobia, intimacy and relationship issues. He has extensive training and experience facilitating groups in varied settings encompassing diverse groups of people. Jamie provides psychotherapy for individual adults and couples. He is also a certified group psychotherapist, currently leading six groups in the bay area out of offices in San Francisco and Menlo Park. www.jamiemoran.com

Credits

Written & Produced by: Lily Sloane + Kip Williams

Theme Song: "Maruumba" by Topher M. Lewis

Additional Music + Sound Design by: Lily Sloane

Philadelphia Pride News Clips:

More Color More Pride

Pride Flag, Drag Race Finale, Gay Men's Golden Girls | Gay Weekly Roundtable

Philly Unveils New Pride Flag (CBS Philadelphia)

Gay Rainbows Can Have Black & Brown Stripes - The New LGBT Pride Flag | David Levitz

Episode Image: "Together" by John St. John (used under creative commons)

Special Thanks to the strangers at the bar for talking to us as well as Twin Peaks Tavern and The Mix for letting us hang out.

Visit atherapistwalksintoabar.com for links and more information.

Most of us know what it means when we say a person went “unconscious” or “lost consciousness”. But deeply imbedded in the roots of psychology’s history is the idea of The Unconscious - a psychological phenomena that is inherent to the human psyche and whether we like it or not, influences a tremendous amount of our behavior from who we fall in love with to racial discrimination. As part of the ongoing "Brief Psycho-Education" series, in this episode Lily breaks down what The Unconscious is and makes a case for facing all that we've kept hidden from ourselves and others.

CREDITS

Written & Produced By: Lily Sloane

Music & Sound Design By: Lily Sloane

"Come as You Are" Instrumental: Original song by Kurt Cobain, cover by Lily Sloane

Role of Anais Nin Performed By: Anna Howland of Anna Howland Psychotherapy

Role of Carl Jung Performed By: Kurt Kohlstedt, producer at 99% Invisible and founder of Web Urbanist

Editorial Support Provided By: Jesse Rhodes, Molly Merson, & Stacey McGuirl

Interview & Concept Support: Jessica Brown

Episode Image: jayhem by Andy NoTanx

Special Thanks to the strangers at the bars, Kip Williams, Aurelie Goldblatt, & Adam Foster.

REFERENCES

A Fist Full of Dollars (1964) (clips used during "Wild West" song)

Westworld Season 1, Episode 10 (2016)

Anaïs Nin, A Woman Speaks: The Lectures, Seminars and Interviews of Anaïs Nin

C.G. Jung, The Essential Jung: Selected Writings

Dating can be this overly-complicated, painful, confusing, ungrounded, whirlwind. Honestly, it can feel really hopeless at times. In this episode we talk with our experts about how to make this process less of a clusterf#ck and navigate the dating world with a fresh perspective.

This episode's experts are:

Nate Bagley, creator of The Loveumentary and The First Seven Years

Eve Peters, founder and CEO of Whim

Lily Sun, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in San Francisco

Credits

Written & Produced by: Lily Sloane + Jessica Brown

Theme Song: "Maruumba" by Topher M. Lewis

Credits Song: "Blimp" by Louis Cole

Opening Poem: "Admit Something" by Hafiz, recited by Eve Peters

Additional Music + Sound Design by: Lily Sloane

Featured Clip: "The Timing is Everything" Edition on Dear Prudence, with Andrea Silenzi

Episode Image: "Have Your Awkward Tinder Dates Here" by Chris Goldberg via Flickr Creative Commons

Special thanks to the strangers at the bar for talking to us The Woods Bar and Brewery and Lost and Found Beer Garden for letting us hang out for a bit.

When was the last time you cried? How about the last time you cried in front of someone else? Most of us have mixed experiences with crying - whether it’s our own tears or seeing them in someone else. And a lot of this is impacted by gender norms and expectations. In this episode we bring back Jesse Rhodes, host of the podcast Man-ish, to share his latest two-part series about crying in politics.

Part one tells the story of Edmond Muskie, a 1972 Democratic presidential candidate, who's public tears were so fatal to his campaign "The Muskie Rule" was created to reflect how detrimental it is for politicians to cry. Part two, "Muskie Today", questions this rule by diving into some more recent examples of political tears.

The "Muskie Rule" and "Muskie Today" were written and produced by Jesse Rhodes. Learn more about Man-ish by visiting www.man-ish.weebly.com.

Special thanks to The Edmund S. Muskie Archives and Special Collections Library, John Milne, Jim Witherall, Emily Palena, Brandon Pascal, Shoshana Walter, and Ryan Neville-Shepard. To find links to Ryan’s research, go to the show’s website, and open the page for this episode. There, you can also find links to music you heard on the show.

A Therapist Walks Into a Bar is produced by Lily Sloane and Jessica Brown.

If you’ve been feeling anxious, overwhelmed, shut down, angry, hurt, or scared since the new administration took over, you’re not alone. We’re dedicating this episode to sifting through some of what this political chaos and noise stirs in us and how we can show up and fight the good fight while practicing self-care so we don’t have to escape into the Alaskan wilderness. As our guest Kip Williams says, “you can’t have healthy movements without healthy people.”

Featured Guest

Kip Williams is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in San Francisco where he specializes in treating sexual minority men with depression and anxiety as well as a number of other issues. Before becoming a therapist, Kip was a dedicated activist for LGBTQ rights and co-directed the 2009 Equality March on Washington. www.kipwilliamspsychotherapy.com

Credits

Written & Produced by:

Lily Sloane

Jessica Brown

Theme Song by:

Topher M. Lewis

Additional Music & Sound Design by:

Lily Sloane

Special Thanks to Sarah Henley, Jesse Rhodes, Eric Welsh, Abby Volk, and Stacey McGuirl for your contributions. Thank you to the strangers at the bar for talking to us. Thank you to The Woods Cerveceria for letting us hang out for a bit.

Almost no one is free from beliefs, rules and attitudes about food. But some of us have experienced an undue amount of emotional pain as a result, riding this rollercoaster of harshly conditional self-love. And some people develop full blown eating disorders where rules, punishment, and rebellion formulate some of the most wretched, soul-destroying patterns to break free from. But ultimately, whether you have an eating disorder or are caught up in dieting and other disordered forms of eating, the truth is it’s probably not about the food.

Featuring:

Eating disorder specialist and producer of the PBS documentary "Erasing ED", Nicole Laby, MFT. www.nicolelaby.com

Producer, director, writer, and actor for the comedy web-series "The Skinny”, Jessie Kahnweiler. www.jessiekahnweiler.com

Registered dietician, blogger at "Dare to Not Diet", and co-host of the podcast “Dietitians Unplugged”, Glenys Oyston, RD. www.daretonotdiet.com

Written & Produced by:

Lily Sloane

Jessica Brown http://integralcounseling.org/staff/index.html

Theme Song by:

Topher M. Lewis

Additional Music & Sound Design by:

Lily Sloane

Episode Image by Takeshi used under Creative Commons

Special thanks to Wildhawk for letting me use your bar and for all the strangers who let me interview you.