Making Friends
Hosted by Jessica Sage and Michelle Zaylar
Can you remember a time before ‘weird’ behavior? Back when you were so young that you just did what you did and liked what you liked, and the kids who were into that stuff too - well they just sort of joined in and voila! friendship. Some lasted minutes, others years, but at the start… mostly it was simple, easy, and fun - wasn’t it?
We know not everyone might have a memory of easy breezy childhood friendship, but these days, in our ‘adulthood’ (see ep. 8 for our thoughts on adulting) it’s likely that many more of us are (understandably) nervous when meeting new people. It’s even more likely, because bullies, trauma, etc. that we might be a bit more hesitant to let our freak flag be seen when trying to fit in or be liked.
In this episode we discuss navigating the wonderful world of adult friend-making. We hope you’ll take some comfort in knowing that if this is tough for you, you’re not alone. We also hope that by the end of this convo, you’ll feel a bit more space to share yourself authentically, even if it’s just being 5% weirder, or 5% more you, wherever you can.
Cause let’s face it, who wants to go for another round of small talk with any more normies???
And don’t worry, if it’s been YEARS since you even tried to make a new friend, we’ve included some great tips and resources that we’re trying as well, in case you could use a more tangible place to start.
Episode highlights:
> a brief intro into our own experiences around making friends as adults
> answering the question of why bother when this can be awkward and challenging endeavor
> considering the type of people and friendships we want to engage with
> where do we make friends now that we don’t have the environmental support we did as kids
> comparing and contrasting how making friends can feel a lot like dating
> why it’s important to have values-based convos with the people you’re making friends with
Reflections/Invitations
> What challenges have you faced when making friends as an adult?
> The Liking Gap states that we believe people like us less than they actually do! With this information, how can you lean into the mindset that you are so much more likable than you think you are and people do actually like you and want to be friends with you!
> Muster up the courage to be silly and say weird thing(s).
How to Connect with Us:
www.instagram.com/athingweretrying/[email protected]
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Resources Mentioned:
> Esther Perel, Psychotherapist focusing on relational work. Find her work on Instagram
> Dr. Marisa G Franco, author of Platonic - How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends. You can also find her work on Instagram!
