In this special European edition of A Witty Wreck, Carly (and Kate) pontificate on meddling mommies, classy pistachio undies, lost luggage, medical moonlighting, the Italian option, feral cat cornucopia, demure clothing workarounds, and being really great vacation partners.

Carly pontificates on rolling rest stops, intrusive thoughts, the spa day from hell, responsible human poop disposal, naked baby on the loose, surprise bedmates, hard-lines vs. guidelines, up-north unpleasantries, and Dairy Queen moral hazard. 

Carly pontificates on perfume-flavored alcohol, Darth Vader wingman, trophy case globe mannequin, evading full-family kidnappers, psilocybin scaries, scabies postcards, folding strangers' laundry, deceiving the mailman, and the many, many unintended consequences of impulsivity. 

Carly pontificates on bananas, butter, szechuan, rural Michigan dietary habits, lost administrators, "real" adulthood, monkey dissection parties, hamster field trips and making the Sub Report as a teacher. With special guests...our progeny...who share their version of the Episode Three Dick-in-the-Snow story.

Carly pontificates on therakeets, snowy obscenities, the accidental (yet promising) death of a bird, Trader Joe's corporate culture, unhinged gatherings and unwanted interventions. 

Carly pontificates on proving she's not creepy, funeral-crashing, gasoline marshmallows, cat hair costumes, binge-watching betrayal, Halloween, and how to become the most memorable patient.

Carly pontificates on 80's pet stores, mafia rats, turtle transport, stranger's bathrooms, ornaments lost and found.