This Episode:   A few weeks back on Episode 4, we talked about forgiveness in marriage. We discussed WHAT forgiveness IS from a biblical perspective, as well as WHY it is SO IMPORTANT to seek and grant forgiveness for the hurts we experience in relationships. But we wanted to take some EXTRA TIME to continue talking about forgiveness on today’s episode….and particularly to see how Jesus spoke to and related to people on forgiveness in the New Testament. We are also going to talk about some “lies” about forgiveness that even Christ-followers may be believing. So stay with us to hear MORE. And, as always, THANK YOU for joining us today on this journey of marriage!

Episode/Show Notes:

Links to Bible Passages on Bible Gateway:

Luke 7 Passage Link Here

John 8 Passage Link Here

Matthew 18 Passage Link Here

10 Truths about Forgiveness: Link to Marriage Revolution Post on Forgiveness: How to Forgive After an Affair

Abiding Marriage Podcast #4 on Forgiveness in Marriage

Link on Apple Podcasts 

Link on Spotify

Link on our website

Link to Resources on Luke 15 and the Prodigal Son

Got Questions Link to Luke 15: Parable to Prodigal Son

Desiring God article/sermon on Luke 15 and the Prodigal Son

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As Biblical Counselors, we are all about helping a husband or wife figure out the “root” of what is causing the challenges between them in their marriage.  It is important to talk about the behaviors of both the husband and wife...but we must go deeper to find the WHY behind their actions, rather than just focusing on the external actions that are presenting themselves. We must begin to understand what the Bible means when it uses the word "heart", and then ask God to help us truly see and also transform our hearts, so that we can thrive in our most important earthly relationship, our marriage! 

Contact Us or Share Feedback: Simply send us an email at [email protected] 

Episode/Show Notes: 

Download Link: Questions to Help Reveal Our True Heart Motivations - adapted from a number of resources. Download Link for Questions Resource.  

Download: Reflections on the Heart Bible Study - resource adapted from a worksheet from the Association of Biblical Counselors.  Download Link for Reflections Resource  

Download: Getting to the Root - a post by Susan Thomas. Really easy to understand and insightful article with some application questions.   

Tim Keller Quote: Whatever captures the heart’s trust and love also controls the feelings and behavior. What the heart most wants, the mind finds reasonable, the emotions find valuable, and the will finds doable. It is all important, then, that our counsel to ourselves and others, move the heart to stop trusting and loving other things more than God.  What makes people into what they are is the order of their loves – what they love most, more, less, and least. That is more fundamental to who you are than even the beliefs to which you mentally subscribe. Your love shows what you actually believe in, not what you say you do. People, therefore, change not by merely changing their thinking, but by changing what they love most.  (Tim Keller, Preaching - Viking Press 2015). 

Paul David Tripp Quote: Now, what all this means is that our biggest, most life-shaping problem exists INSIDE of us and not outside of us. What needs to be transformed in our lives is not so much our situation and relationships (although they need transformation as well). What really needs to be transformed are our hearts. What we need are hearts that are clean and that are single-focused in their allegiance to God and His Glory. We need His Grace and His Gospel to transform what we love, what we crave, and what we serve. And what's the promise of the cross of Jesus Christ? It's a new heart. Here is the gorgeous message of the Gospel: Even though I have bowed again and again to an endless list of God replacements, even though I've loved myself more than I've loved God, even though I've rebelled against God's Kingdom and sought to set up my own kingdom, God comes to me in grace and wraps arms of love around me, and begins a process that will result in the total transformation of the core of my personhood – my heart.  The Lord won't rest and He won't relent until He's created in you and me a completely pure heart! Taken from The Grace of a Clean Heart by Paul David Tripp.  

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If you have been wondering, "What is Glen and Shawn's story?", or "Why are they doing this podcast?, then please listen to today's episode, where we will share our story and the "why" behind this Abiding Marriage Podcast. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!!

Episode/Show Notes:  

Check out our Abiding Marriage Blog at: www.AbidingMarriage.org/blog 

If you want to find out more about how you can PARTNER with us, take a moment to go to AbidingMarriage.org/partner 

We’d love to get your feedback on any of our episodes, as well as any questions you may have or topics you would like us to cover in future episodes. You can send that feedback to us by emailing [email protected] 

To find out more about FamilyLife, go to their website at www.familylife.com 

To find out more about Marriage Revolution, go to their website at www.marriagerevolution.com 

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Forgiveness in Marriage: Out of all the topics we can discuss related to marriage, there is one that we always, and I really mean always, talk to husbands and wives about - and that is forgiveness. It is critical both to UNDERSTAND and WALK OUT Christ-centered forgiveness in our marriages. And this is not easy. But if you want to work through the hurts we ALL experience in relationships, then we MUST grow in the ability to both seek and grant forgiveness. So take time to listen to today's episode so that you and your spouse can begin to both understand and walk out Christ-centered forgiveness in your marriage!!

Episode/Show Notes:

Tim Keller Article on Forgiveness 

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qt88rSHS6UNYJAVOzGH6ohxwioiDc6ZJ/view?usp=sharing

Abiding Marriage Post on Moving Beyond the I’m Sorry Culture:  

https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/beyond-i-am-sorry

Books/Resources to Purchase on Forgiveness:

Forgiveness: Healing the Harbored Hurts of Your Heart: https://billelliff.org/products/healing-the-harbored-hurts-of-your-heart

Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom: https://www.amazon.com/Choosing-Forgiveness-Your-Journey-Freedom/dp/0802432530/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=choosing+forgiveness+nancy+leigh+demoss&qid=1651252161&sr=8-1

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The Most Essential Connection in Marriage

Scripture(s): “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the Word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” John 15:1-7

Find out how to have a personal relationship with Jesus - the vital connection we all need in life and in marriage:

https://www.abidingmarriage.org/thegospel

Link to Post on Abiding Marriage Blog by Bill Elliff: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/the-abiding-marriage

Resources for going deeper on Abiding in Jesus:

Resources for Bible Study:

Online Bible Commentaries:

Resources for Prayer:

Resources on the Holy Spirit:

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When it comes to communicating as husband and wife, we need to be sure we keep our FOCUS in the right place. In this episode, we share a key biblical principle that will help you and your spouse really learn to communicate in a more healthy, Christ-honoring way. 

Application Questions: Discuss with Your Spouse

1. What are some practical ways that you and your spouse can help each other remember and put into practice the Log and Speck principle?

2. What situations or types of conflict would make practicing this principle difficult? Discuss what steps you can take in the moment to make it easier.

3. Open up the bible and read Matthew 22:37-38 together. When you are tempted to focus on your spouse’s sin before your own, who are you making a decision to love the most? How so?

Abiding Marriage Blog Post - What Camera are You Focused On?  https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/watching-the-wrong-camera

Doug Britton on Log and Speck: https://www.dougbrittonbooks.com/onlinebiblestudies-personalgrowthanddevelopment/changeyourselffirst-takethebeamoutofyourowneye/

Shepherd Press - Jay Younts - Log and Speck: https://www.shepherdpress.com/can-you-tell-the-difference-between-a-log-and-speck/

Bible Gateway Matthew 7: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+7&version=ESV

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Title/Theme:  Seeking Understanding in Marriage

Scripture(s): Proverbs 18:2: A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.  (ESV)

Link to Proverbs 18 on Bible Gateway: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+18&version=ESV

Link to Abiding Marriage Post on Helping Communication: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/two-simple-questions

Link to info shared from Steven Covey: https://www.franklincovey.com/habit-5/

Link to Post from Marriage Sense - To Busy Spouse: https://marriagesense.org/2018/11/29/dear-busy-spouse-sincerely-your-marriage-counselor/

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