About Your Mother

By Jennifer GriffithSociety & Culture Education Self-Improvement Relationships

About Your Mother episodes

October 14, 2021 013 Writing My Secrets | Amy Ferris
In this episode of About Your Mother, meet Amy Ferris. Amy is witty, brutally honest, talented, and regal, like Meryl Streep, and she looks like her too.

Ruth Pennebaker of the New York Times described Amy’s memoir, Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Midlife Crisis", as "poignant, free-wheeling, cranky, and funny. It is all those things, as well as a deep exploration of a complicated relationship with her mother.

Amy Ferris is an author, screenwriter, editor, and playwright. Enjoy my conversation with Amy as she shares her story and talks about Buddhism, living and getting kicked out of a commune, midlife, truth-telling family divisions, and more.

Reflections of the Mother
The conversation starts off with Amy describing her mother and their relationship growing up. For Amy, she has always thought that her mother was the most powerful woman in the world. Though as time passed, she realized it was something else entirely.
“I actually thought my mother was the most powerful woman in the world. And then I realized that no, she was angry. That was really profound realization for me. I mistook all of her anger for power.” – Amy Ferris

Amy Ferris on Loving Differently

I get to love differently; I get to behave differently. So I took all of the bad stuff that I had grown up with and decided I would never do that to another person. - Amy FerrisClick To Tweet

Amy shares more of her experiences with her mother, though there was one comment her mother said before she passed that changed everything. From there on, Amy decided to stop blaming her mother for the bad things in her life.
“It was time for me to stop blaming my mother, for the shit my life that was going wrong, it was really important for me to say, Okay, you know what, now I'm responsible for my choices and what I'm doing and who I am.“ – Amy Ferris

Confessions from a Midlife Crisis
Amy then talks about the other aspects of her book, Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Midlife Crisis. One of the interesting stories that piqued my interest was when Amy was living in a commune.
“You know how everyone always says what would you write your younger self? And a lot of people would say I would write, ‘Don't make out with Eric in the back of the car that day in high school, get your diploma go to Harvard’. But you know, I would tell my younger self, ‘do exactly everything that you did, because that's what got you here’. If I hadn't done anything differently, I would not be where I am in any way shape or form. I wouldn't be the woman I am.” – Amy Ferris

To hear more from Amy Ferris and how to get yourself out of a midlife crisis, download and listen to this episode.

Bio
Amy Ferris is an author, screenwriter, editor and playwright. Her memoir, Marrying George Clooney: Confessions From A Midlife Crisis debuted theatrically (Off-Broadway) in 2012. Ruth Pennebaker of The New York Times called her memoir "poignant, free-wheeling, cranky and funny." Amy co-edited, along with Hollye Dexter, the new anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom.

Connect with Amy Ferris
Facebook | Instagram |
46 min
September 24, 2021 Writing Her Truth Helps Others | Angie Kim
In this episode of About Your Mother, I am pleased to introduce Angie Kim. Angie's debut novel Miracle Creek was named Best Book of the Year by Time, The Washington Post, and The Today Show. It went on to win many other prizes throughout the year.
Before writing Miracle Creek, Angie Kim was the former editor of Harvard Law Review and a trial attorney. She has also written for Vogue, The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post Glamour, and numerous literary journals.
My conversation with Angie is far and reaching, discussing things such as her life as a Korean immigrant, writing, and the myth of the Good Mother.

Learn more about the podcast at byjennifergriffith.com/category/podcast
45 min
September 24, 2021 012 Writing Her Truth Helps Others | Angie Kim
In this episode of About Your Mother, I am pleased to introduce Angie Kim. Angie's debut novel Miracle Creek was named Best Book of the Year by Time, The Washington Post, and The Today Show. It went on to win many other prizes throughout the year.

Before writing Miracle Creek, Angie Kim was the former editor of Harvard Law Review and a trial attorney. She has also written for Vogue, The New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post Glamour, and numerous literary journals.

My conversation with Angie is far and reaching, discussing things such as her life as a Korean immigrant, writing, and the myth of the Good Mother.

Reflections of the Mother
The conversation begins with Angie's description of her mother and her most defining trait. For Angie, her mother's generosity and kindness have left a deep impression on her.

"I got to observe her with her customers a couple of times. I was just floored by how generous and kind she was with her customers, even sort of the cantankerous ones. She was just so kind to everyone. And everyone loved her as a result. "– Angie Kim

Angie hopes that she can do it as well with her professional relationships - going that extra mile of being kind and generous with your time can help build better bonds with others.

Miracle Creek
Discussing her book, Miracle Creek, Angie shares how her life experiences inspired the book's themes; in a way, she's sharing takeaways from her life with their readers through a new world woven in the story.

"So yes, Miracle Creek is my debut novel...people say that you put a lot of yourself into your first books. That's definitely the case for me as well. I've put so many threads of my own life into this book, one of which is the whole immigrant thread. Another facet of my life that's in this novel is that of me as a mother. Then finally, the other thread that's in my novel was my first career as a trial lawyer." – Angie Kim

Angie Kim on Being a Writer
Angie shares that for the longest time, she never wanted to be a writer. Even when she was going to a school with an incredible Creative Writing department, it never occurred to her to take it up.

Back then, she thought writing meant just sitting in one place and writing all day, which sounded boring. She found this ironic since, as a lawyer, there was a lot of writing, just a different kind.

After going through her colorful experiences in life and listening to friends be fascinated by her journey and life lessons, she decided on her next career to tackle: being a writer.

One day, when I was just having a really hard day, I just opened up my laptop and started writing about what I was upset about. And it was just so cathartic. I had never really experienced that through writing before. And I thought,…Click To Tweet

To hear more from Angie Kim and how to be kind and generous to people around you, download and listen to this episode.

Bio
Angie Kim is the debut author of the international bestseller and Edgar winner Miracle Creek, named a "Best Book of the Year" by Time, The Washington Post, Kirkus, and The Today Show, among others.
45 min
May 07, 2021 Changing Lives With Empathy | Peter Mutabazi
In this episode of About Your Mother, you will meet Peter Mutabazi - a remarkable human being who survived a traumatic childhood, only to use that experience to transform lives. He ran away from an abusive father at the age of ten and was homeless on the streets for four years until a stranger asked him his name. That gesture changed his life forever. However, that isn't Peter's story. His story is so much more than that.
He has used his experience to lift the lives of those who need our help most. It started with global relief efforts, and now he has been a foster dad to sixteen kids. His mission is to make sure every child is known.
Prepare to be in awe of Peter Mutabazi: his courage, empathy, and will to change the lives of the four hundred thousand foster children in our system.
Joining me during this episode is my partner in Adoption/Foster Stories, Jeff Forney. If you want to learn more about Jeff's story and work, please listen to episode 010.

Connect with Peter
Website: NowIAmKnown.com
YouTube: @nowiamknown
Instagram: @fosterdadflipper
Facebook: fb/fosterdadflipper

Learn more about the podcast at byjennifergriffith.com/category/podcast
50 min
May 07, 2021 011 Changing Lives With Empathy | Peter Mutabazi
In this episode of About Your Mother, you will meet Peter Mutabazi - a remarkable human being who survived a traumatic childhood, only to use that experience to transform lives. He ran away from an abusive father at the age of ten and was homeless on the streets for four years until a stranger asked him his name. That gesture changed his life forever. However, that isn't Peter's story. His story is so much more than that.

He has used his experience to lift the lives of those who need our help most. It started with global relief efforts, and now he has been a foster dad to sixteen kids. His mission is to make sure every child is known.

Prepare to be in awe of Peter Mutabazi: his courage, empathy, and will to change the lives of the four hundred thousand foster children in our system.

Joining me during this episode is my partner in Adoption/Foster Stories, Jeff Forney. If you want to learn more about Jeff's story and work, please listen to episode 010.

A Mother's Love
When asked about his mother, Peter has nothing but love and appreciation for how she cared for her children despite their situation. Raised in a culture where women are viewed as second-class citizens, Peter lived with an abusive father. Despite this, it did not stop his mother from raising her children with kindness and love. Her lesson that the impossible is possible was taught to him by his mother.

"She said, 'Look, wrong people and bad behaviors will always come, but you have a right, and you have an opportunity to not always to act the same way.' That gave me empathy for that, that yes, I don't like my dad in some way. That somehow gave me the opportunity to no-repeat who my dad was or to think that was okay." – Peter Mutabazi

Peter's mother has given him the best values and principles in life on how to have empathy.

Running Away From Home
At the age of four, Peter began to realize that not only were they poor, but his father was also an abusive man. So for him, hope wasn't there in any shape or form, and his mother was the small ray of sunshine in his life.

Yet, at the age of ten, he could not take it anymore, so he ran away from home. To survive, he became a street kid. For Peter, it was better to be miserable in the streets than be abused by the one person who was supposed to be his protector.

So for four years, he lived as a street kid. During those four years, no one had asked him who he was or what his name is. Yet a stranger stopped one day and asked him, "Hey, what's your name?" Over time, he had grown close to this visitor, who eventually offered him a chance to go to school.

"He saw the potential in me. He didn't see the dirty thief boy, but a little boy that had an opportunity to be someone, and he said, 'I will offer that. I will be there for him.' For the first time, someone saw me as a human being. The message changed my life. So I went to school – not because I wanted to be somebody, but for the very first time, I had was seen as a human being. Another person has seen me as someone who had potential." – Peter Mutabazi

Being a Father to Others

Dads have the right to be vulnerable, a right to be tender...I have learned to be all, just like moms, when they need that. - Peter MutabaziClick To Tweet

When this kind stranger took Peter in,
50 min
April 30, 2021 Adoption Encapsulates Everything That Is Life | Jeff Forney
In today's episode of About Your Mother, we have a poignant discussion on the meaning of the word Mother. Joining us is Jeff Forney, a photographer, visual story sharer, and a dear friend.
Prepare to be inspired by a touching dialogue on the meaning of the word mother, the journey to finding his birth mother, and the impact this experience had on him.

Connect with Jeff
Website: JeffForney.com
Facebook: fb/JeffForneyPhoto
Instagram: @JeffForney
LinkedIn: in/JeffForneyPhoto

Learn more about the podcast at byjennifergriffith.com/category/podcast
46 min
April 30, 2021 010 Adoption Encapsulates Everything That Is Life | Jeff Forney
In today's episode of About Your Mother, we have a poignant discussion on the meaning of the word Mother. Joining us is Jeff Forney, a photographer, visual story sharer, and a dear friend.

Prepare to be inspired by a touching dialogue on the meaning of the word mother, the journey to finding his birth mother, and the impact this experience had on him.

The Meaning of Mom
When asked about his definition of the word "Mom," Jeff shares that the word means nurturing, supportive, and loving. As an adoptee, Jeff has various meanings of the word. For him, his mother is his spiritual support and guide.

"I remember probably about four or five years old asking, 'what does it mean to be adopted?' And my parents explained it to me well and said, 'We chose you to be in our life.' So I did feel special. My sister also was adopted, and we felt very much like a family unit. It was a very loving, wonderful childhood. I have a lot of great memories. I'm so grateful for the parents that I was given in this world." – Jeff Forney

The Search
As Jeff matured in college, he started entertaining the idea of looking for his birth mother. He wanted to know out of curiosity. If nothing else, he wanted to know where he came from; yet there was a feeling of dread if his parents found out he was searching at all. As he describes it, it was almost like he was cheating on them.

"It is a little daunting telling your parents that you want to look. I was a little nervous about it because you feel like you're cheating on your parents. You feel like, 'Wow, I've had these wonderful humans that have done the best they can and they did a great job. How dare you look for your biological beginnings. You have a wonderful home.' This is a story that adoptees tell themselves that we need to rid ourselves of." – Jeff Forney

Though he did end up telling them about it, rather than the reaction he dreaded, his mom only voiced concern that it might not be an easy task. Nevertheless, they gave him the support he needed.

Jeff Forney and His Passion Project

Finding your birth parent is like climbing to Basecamp on Everest. - Jeff ForneyClick To Tweet

As someone who has undergone the journey of meeting their birth parent, he knew that some people struggle with what to do next. It's not like everything clicks into place once you meet them for the first time. At times, it can even leave either side feeling vulnerable.

This inspired Jeff to launch the Innocent People Project. He used photography as his medium at first, which turned into a passion for creating a media narrative on adoption and healing for those involved.

"Adoption exists out of necessity. If there were no need for adoption, that'd be fantastic. But it exists because there is a necessity so that it won't go away. Though if we can improve it and make it so that it's more open, and there's more of a dialogue about it, we can hopefully limit the number of adoptions so that it's only in those dire cases." – Jeff Forney

To learn more about Jeff Forney and the meaning of the word "mom," download and listen to this episode.

Bio:
Jeff was adopted at birth. Raised in the Bay Area by two wonderfully loving parents, Jeff still felt a pull to know and uncover the mystery of his origin. Jeff eventually found his biological roots and has been...
46 min
March 23, 2021 The Lessons Were In How She Lived | Sarai Obermeyer & Amy Kelly
In honor of International Women's Month, today's episode of About Your Mother brings you a story highlighting the strength and power of maternal lineage. In this dual interview, we celebrate the life of Vera Obermeyer, who recently passed away due to COVID. Our guests are here to talk about her long and colorful life full of purpose.
The conversation is with Vera's daughter and granddaughter, Sarai Obermeyer and Amy Kelly. Listen as Sarai and Amy share stories of Vera and her strong, maternal influence on them. They also share some of the family's traumatic past and how it inspired them to lend their voice to those who need it the most.

Connect with Amy
Facebook: fb/AmyKellyMFT
Twitter: @AmyKellyMFT
Instagram: @AmyKellyMFT

Connect with Sarai
LinkedIn: in/Sarai-Obermeyer
Website: Legal Aid of Sonoma County

Learn more about the podcast at byjennifergriffith.com/category/podcast
49 min
March 23, 2021 009 The Lessons Were In How She Lived | Sarai Obermeyer & Amy Kelly
In honor of International Women's Month, today's episode of About Your Mother brings you a story highlighting the strength and power of maternal lineage. In this dual interview, we celebrate the life of Vera Obermeyer, who recently passed away due to COVID. Our guests are here to talk about her long and colorful life full of purpose.

The conversation is with Vera's daughter and granddaughter, Sarai Obermeyer and Amy Kelly. Listen as Sarai and Amy share stories of Vera and her strong, maternal influence on them. They also share some of the family's traumatic past and how it inspired them to lend their voice to those who need it the most.

Breaking the Mold
Sarai remembers her mother's advocacy of women's rights when there was hardly any. Vera broke the mold of her time being a mother, career woman, and a strong voice of equality. Yet, she did not aim to bring anyone down but lift everyone to equal status.
"There was an understanding that women should have the right and access to fulfill their potential. But that did not mean that when I didn't mind the rights of men, you would want men and boys also to fulfill their potential." - Sarai Obermeyer
Vera's views and the virtues she had instilled in them have also led them to a life of helping others and fighting for the marginalized and oppressed.

Relationships Over Everything
Sarai takes us through her memories with her mother and how she raised her children and nurtured a career. While it was a big undertaking, Sarai understood that for Vera, having a job was an essential thing in her life.

She also reveals that her mother valued relationships over anything. She formed powerful bonds with every person that she held dear, as Sarai found out when she talked to one of her friends:
"When I was speaking to her after my mother passed away, she was just tearful. It was so sad. You can just feel the beautiful friendship they had and she then lost by my mother passing away. When you think about it: from 10 to 91... an 81-year-old friendship. How many people have an 81-year-old friendship? Not many." - Sarai Obermeyer

Follow Your Instincts
I think being critical, following your own instincts, and making your own choices is really important. - Amy KellyClick To Tweet

Amy shares her grandmother's experiences when raising her children in the 1950s. Women were expected to follow a particular way of life, but Vera didn't go with the flow. She relied on her instincts and what she thought was right.

Naturally, people who expect others to conform did not like that.
"People thought she was crazy. They really thought she was just beating to her own drum. Yet she just knew the whole time, she just followed her own instincts and made her own decisions with what she felt was right versus what society tells you is right." - Amy Kelly
Despite being a woman with strong opinions, Vera never forcefully imposed her own views on her children. She let them choose their own course in life and supported them wholeheartedly. Yet, she was always there to ask the right questions and help them consider their options and think critically at all times.

To learn more about Sarai Obermeyer & Amy Kelly and how one woman inspired them to be better, download and listen to this episode.

Bio:
49 min
March 02, 2021 Your Story Isn’t About You | Melanie Spring
What does it mean to own and share our own stories? Why would other people want to hear our stories?
In today’s episode of About your Mother, we answer those questions with our special guest, Melanie Spring. Melanie is a vibrant speaker, an approachable bad-ass woman, and the facilitator of both personal and brand stories. Today, she shares her struggles and triumphs that made her who she is now. Melanie also discusses what it’s like to own our stories and how everyone should walk into a room and think ‘you’re welcome’.

Connect with Melanie!
Web: Melanie Spring
Facebook: fb/MelanieSpring
Instagram: @melaniespring
Twitter: @melaniespring

Learn more about the podcast at byjennifergriffith.com/category/podcast
36 min

About About Your Mother

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About Your Mother is a monthly podcast hosted by writer Jennifer Griffith. Each podcast features a conversation with a dynamic guest exploring the influence their mothers had on the trajectory of…

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