Above Average

You used to be the person who would book the flight without thinking twice. Then you had kids, and the part of you that loved to go somewhere got packed away with everything else, and you started to wonder if it was gone for good.

Amanda Kellner Klein decided it wasn't. She's a brand partnerships exec, she writes about traveling after kids on her Substack, and her almost-four-year-old already has more than 50 flights to her name. She came on to talk about how you hold onto the parts of yourself that matter once the kids arrive, with all the real logistics, the trade-offs, and one airplane story you have to hear to believe.

What You'll Learn

→ The travel muscle that makes a trip with a four-year-old feel easy, and why the only way to build it is to go when it's still hard

→ The comeback to "they won't even remember it" that ends the argument for good

→ The filter Amanda uses to decide whether a trip is worth it, and the step most people skip so "someday" never comes

→ The packing system that means nobody ever asks "who has the diapers" mid-flight

→ Why lowering your expectations is the real secret to a good trip with kids, not a consolation prize

→ The night-flight advice everyone repeats that Amanda says is mostly wrong

→ The airplane bathroom story that made everyone in this episode swear off something for life

Heard Yourself In This Episode?

The things that matter most are almost never the urgent ones, so they're the ones that keep getting pushed for years. Alex's free guide walks you through the filter that decides what you own, what you delegate, what you delete, and what you PROTECT, because the trip only happens once it lands in that last column. Grab the PDF here → go.alexpayetta.com/timeback

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Amanda Kellner Klein

carryon.substack.com | @amandakellnerklein

Lorissa woke up one morning and finally felt ready to let go of the kids a little. After touring 25 schools and finding every one of them terrible, she realized the schools were never the problem. The timing was.

A hosts-only catch-up on the pull between loving your work and loving being home, and how you actually know when it's time to let go.

What We Cover

→ The real reason Lorissa said no to 25 schools (and what finally changed)

→ Why "I'd love to stay home" and "I'm obsessed with working" can both be true at once

→ How Alex redesigned her work so she's actually available to her kids

→ The membership Lorissa's husband pushed for two years that covers childcare, an office, and a workout in one

→ Why trying to find "balance" might be the thing keeping you stuck

Heard Yourself In This Episode?

The first step to figuring out a balance that really works for you is understanding how you're spending your time NOW, and how you SHOULD be spending it. Alex's free guide walks you through exactly that. Grab the PDF here → go.alexpayetta.com/timeback

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Timestamps

0:00 What minis are, and what's new

0:25 Lorissa's epiphany and finally feeling ready

2:42 The pull between staying home and building something

6:00 Why both can be true (the shades of gray)

7:06 How Alex designs work around the kids

10:13 The Lifetime idea that covers childcare, an office, and a gym

11:32 The wall you have to hit (like sleep training)

13:01 Discernment, intuition, and taking action

15:15 Why chasing balance is a disservice

Allison Brewer opened her med spa with a one and three year old at home, no door on her treatment room, and no front desk because she wasn't sure anyone would show up. Two weeks in, so many patients were walking through the door that she had to hire a front desk.

She's the founder of Masters MedSpa in Irvine and a second generation injector who travels the world to stay at the top of her field. She came on to talk about what it actually takes to grow a business while you're raising little kids, and somewhere in there she also explains why everyone's face looked overfilled for a decade.

What You'll Learn

→ The part of the business Allison handed to her husband that she swears she'd never have grown without

→ Why she hired too fast, kept the wrong person nine months too long, and what finally made the hard conversation doable

→ The "homework" her husband kept pushing that ended up running the whole company

→ Why Lorissa thinks burnout is a choice, and the red flags Allison catches before it lands

→ What most overwhelmed moms are missing (and why Lorissa says staying home is harder than running her business)

→ The decade-long mistake Allison says injectors are finally walking back

→ How to know within the first sixty seconds whether your injector is good or about to wreck your face

Heard Yourself In This Episode?

Systems are the backbone of a successful business AND a successful life. Alex's free 15-minute training breaks down the system she uses to manage the mental load so her brain doesn't have to. Watch it here → go.alexpayetta.com/training

If you already know you want help clearing the 3,430 open tabs in your mind, Alex will walk you through building CEO Mode step by step. Build it here → go.alexpayetta.com/ceomode

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Specifically looking for the Epicutis skincare mentioned on the show? shopmy.us/collections/3876535

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Allison Brewer

masters-medspa.com | @masters.medspa

You picked a major at eighteen, and somehow that one decision still gets to decide what you are allowed to do with the rest of your life.

In this catch-up, Lorissa and Alex get into leaving corporate, translating those skills into something of your own, and why the systems that actually stick are the ones built around how your brain works instead of someone else's.

What We Cover

→ Why the major you picked at eighteen is not the lane you are stuck in, and how Lorissa and Alex each rebuilt a corporate skill set into something of their own

→ Lorissa on launching Lorissa's List before it was ready, and why a messy first version beats waiting for perfect

→ Why most task systems fall apart by Friday, and what makes one finally stick

Where to Start

If you need to finally close the 9,439 open tabs in your mind in just one afternoon so you don't have to try to remember everything anymore, this is for you. Build it here → go.alexpayetta.com/ceomode

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Timestamps

0:00 Welcome back, and why this one is a catch-up

0:15 Lorissa's List, and the corporate job it traces back to

2:15 Taking your skills out of corporate without making the job your identity

4:16 Alex on turning Fortune 500 systems work into coaching women

4:50 You are not stuck in the lane you picked at eighteen

6:06 Getting fired, and why the next thing comes in phases

7:18 Launching Lorissa's List before it was ready

9:08 The brand-content year that did not work, and playing to your strengths

10:14 Phase two of Lorissa's List and learning by shipping

11:08 Life update: five days solo with the kids

12:37 Alex on building CEO Mode

13:36 Getting the mental load out of your head

15:22 Why Asana works for life at home too

18:28 Build around your brain, not someone else's

By the time you fall into bed at the end of the day, your body has nothing left. Not for affection, not for intimacy, not for the part of your relationship that used to be effortless. Nobody told you this was the trade.

Cindy Scharkey has been an OB/GYN nurse for almost 40 years, and what she kept hearing from women is that nobody is having this conversation. So she started having it.

What You'll Learn

→ The "one tank of energy" reality and why your sex life is the first thing it drains

→ Why scheduling sex doesn't work the way most couples do it (and what does)

→ What "responsive desire" is, and why most women have been measuring against the wrong thing their whole lives

Heard Yourself In This Episode?

Cindy points out there's only ONE tank of energy, and your marriage is pulling from the same one as your job and your kids. The Stress Loop quiz helps you figure out which of the four loops is draining it, and what to do differently starting tomorrow morning. Take the quiz here → go.alexpayetta.com/quiz

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Cindy Scharkey, RN

cindyscharkey.com | @cindyscharkey

Mentioned in This Episode

→ Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden cindyscharkey.com/permission-for-pleasure-book

→ Permission for Pleasure podcast cindyscharkey.com/podcast — short topical episodes good for couples to listen to together

→ Uberlube uberlube.com — Cindy's recommended lube. Code CINDY for 15% off

Timestamps

0:00 Why this conversation, why now

1:30 Cindy's background and why she started talking about this publicly

6:00 The "one tank of energy" — sex pulls from the same well as everything else

10:00 Responsive vs spontaneous desire (and why the movies lied)

15:00 Scheduling intimacy without it feeling like a chore

20:00 The 4% change that brings desire back

25:00 The fear-of-pregnancy "hand brake" nobody talks about

30:00 Decentering intercourse — what "sex" can actually mean

35:00 Where to start when you don't know where to start

40:00 Why painful sex isn't normal, and the lube conversation

Sometimes you're in the rhythm and everything feels good. Sometimes the rhythm breaks and you have to rebuild your week from the ground up. In this catch-up, one of us is in each season.

Alex and Lorissa catch up on where they each actually are right now.. one of them in the most grounded season she's had in a while, one of them hitting a wall and re-working how she runs her week. The conversation wanders into the Emma Grede "three-hour mom" debate, the judgment between working moms and stay-at-home moms, and why kids turn out how they turn out regardless of what we do.

What We Cover

→ The moment Lorissa realized compounding Fridays was never going to catch her up

→ The Emma Grede "three-hour mom" take and the problem with judging other parents' choices

→ Why Lorissa's third baby year has felt completely different than her first two

Lacking Energy?

Alex attributes her energy to finally being back in her routines. Wake Up Different walks you through the 10-minute morning and evening routine she swears by, so you're more focused, energized, and grounded. Get started here → go.alexpayetta.com/wud

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Timestamps

0:00 Alex's "I feel lucky all the time" season

2:15 Morning gratitude walks with a 4-year-old

3:48 Lorissa hits a wall, Lorissa's List takes off, and the one-day-a-week model breaks

6:30 Why being particular means being involved

8:10 Not blending work and kids, even when the baby is just chilling

11:22 Third-baby year: why time actually feels slower this time

14:05 The Emma Grede three-hour mom debate

17:40 Judgment between working moms and stay-at-home moms

You keep trying new supplements, new workouts, new morning routines, and something still feels off. The thing nobody is checking is usually the thing running underneath all of it.

Dr. Sam Riley is back for round two. This time we go deep on blood sugar.. why it sits at the root of hair loss, insomnia, weight that won't budge, hormone issues, fertility struggles, and the anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere.

What You'll Learn

→ The everyday symptom most women write off as "just hangry" that's actually a red flag for something much bigger

→ Why intermittent fasting is making a huge group of women feel worse, and how to know if you're in that group

→ The four foods Dr. Sam pulls first when someone says "I've tried everything and nothing is working"

→ What a continuous glucose monitor actually shows you in two weeks (and why the first week you shouldn't change a thing)

→ The protein number that makes women's jaws hit the floor, and the math that makes it doable

→ How food order at a single meal can completely change the way your body responds

Heard Yourself In This Episode?

Dr. Sam kept coming back to the same thing.. consistency with the basics. Wake Up Different is the 10-minute morning and evening routine that turns the basics from a daily fight into your DEFAULT. Get started here → go.alexpayetta.com/wud

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Dr. Sam Riley

rileychiro.com | @dr.samriley

Mentioned in This Episode

→ Ashley Barrett Wellness barrettwellnesscenter.com — Virtual Nutritional Therapy Practitioner

→ Diabetes with Dani @diabeteswithdani — Creator of Conquer Your Diabetes, a Type 1 program for kids and women

→ Levels levelshealth.com — continuous glucose monitor

→ Cyrex Labs cyrexlabs.com — food sensitivity and autoimmune testing

Eight months of broken sleep and a head full of shoulds.

This is the mini where Alex talks about sleep-training Scarlett, and the hardest part of it actually being just undoing everything she'd told herself about what she was supposed to do. Lorissa, who's immune to the shoulds, has great advice on how to ignore the conflicting noise.

What We Cover

→ Why "what's best for the baby" isn't what you think

→ How anti-sleep-training messaging kept Alex questioning her own intuition for eight months straight before she called it

→ Why the shoulds in motherhood can sneak up on you, and what it means to "be your own camp"

Take the Stress Loop Quiz

If you don't feel like a version of yourself you love (like Alex felt for the past 8 months), the Stress Loop quiz helps you figure out which of the four loops is draining you, and what to do differently starting tomorrow morning. Take the quiz here → go.alexpayetta.com/quiz

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Timestamps

0:00 Alex is finally sleeping

1:30 Eight months of broken sleep and the home birth community

4:00 Co-sleeping, home birth, and why they get tied together

7:00 Identity, camps, and the should spiral

10:00 Weaning Scarlett and letting the baby decide

13:00 "Be your own camp"

You've tried the charts, the timers, the consequences, the gentle approach, and your kid is still melting down every morning before anyone's out the door. What Randy Free teaches is the middle ground many parents are actually looking for, somewhere between gentle parenting and old-school discipline, and it works for all kids (even neurodivergent ones).

Randy Free is a family counselor and retired international tax partner who spent 30 years in high-pressure corporate environments before building the PEACE-ful Parenting Process for neurodivergent kids and the high-achieving parents trying to figure out what actually works.

What You'll Learn

→ A simple framework for deciding which battles to fight and which ones to let go, so you stop trying to correct everything at once

→ What's actually happening in your child's brain during a meltdown, and why your calm matters more than your consequence

→ The story Randy tells about kicking his own son's door down in anger, and what his son remembered years later (it's not the lesson)

Take the Stress Loop Quiz

This episode all comes back to the mom's nervous system setting the tone for the entire house. If you've been moving at a pace that leaves no room for patience, that shows up in every interaction with your kids. The Stress Loop quiz helps you figure out where your capacity is actually breaking down so you can start building it back. Take the quiz here → go.alexpayetta.com/quiz

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Randy Free

coachtoresilience.com

Take Randy's free PEACE-ful Parenting Self Assessment to see where your parenting lands → drive.google.com/file/d/1t5k06pPR-OeTqDBiMIJh_bE4j9phnhra/view

Timestamps

0:00 Meet Randy Free and his path from tax partner to parenting counselor

2:45 The PEACE acronym and how peaceful parenting differs from gentle parenting

6:30 The parenting quadrant, choosing your battles with red, blue, green, and yellow

12:15 Alex and Lorissa on the consistency struggle between partners

18:00 Nature vs. nurture and how neurodivergent brains process emotions differently

23:30 Mirror neurons and why your kids absorb your stress

29:00 The volcano exercise for teaching kids their own warning signs

35:00 Repairing after you lose your temper

40:45 When kids question authority and where to draw the line

48:00 Over-scheduling and what transitions do to a child's nervous system

55:00 Structure vs. flexibility for neurodivergent kids

1:00:00 Parenting a highly intelligent child who is emotionally behind

1:05:00 How to work with Randy and where to find him

Nobody warns you that getting dressed postpartum is going to make you cry before church.

Lorissa and Alex talk about body changes after kids, the identity shift that comes with them, and what actually helps.

What We Cover

→ The postpartum closet meltdown nobody warns you about and why it costs you more than time

→ How Lorissa went from always being "the smallest" to gaining 80 lbs and completely rebuilding her relationship with her body

→ The one closet move that stopped mornings from turning into a full emotional spiral

Take the Stress Loop Quiz

The reason getting dressed takes so long is the dread that comes with it, and dread costs energy you already didn't have. The Stress Loop quiz helps you figure out which of the four loops is draining that tank before you ever get to the closet. Take the quiz here → go.alexpayetta.com/quiz

Lorissa's List

Lorissa's curated list of the products, services, and providers actually worth your time, all vetted to a higher standard so you can skip the search.

→ lorissaviolet.com

Connect With Us

Lorissa Violet

lorissaviolet.com | @lorissaviolet

Alex Payetta

alexpayetta.com | @alexpayetta

Timestamps

0:00 Intro and the five-minute challenge

0:24 Why getting dressed is the biggest time suck

1:22 Lorissa's identity shift from always being "the smallest"

2:54 The emotional weight of postpartum body changes

4:47 Sobbing before church in leggings

5:54 Outfit wins, fails, and the maternity romper incident

6:22 The strapless gala dress disaster

7:21 Packing nursing outfits for Japan

8:09 Acceptance, button-ups, and the brief blip mindset

9:19 Body dysmorphia and panic-buying the wrong sizes

9:55 Husband gift fails (triple XS and XXL)

11:19 Why clearing out your closet actually feels like freedom