We begin Episode 47 by honoring our interns…all of them. We then hear some listener feedback regarding the Deep South — turns out this is a very divisive topic. Afterwards, Alison continues her quest to convince Dana that their podcast is secretly a matchmaking site.

During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we immediately debunk the theory that absence makes the heart grow fonder while providing some advice to a woman who’s struggling in her marriage. We also try to figure out how to tell if someone loves you. Finally, we meet yet another “annoying” woman who is trying to force her partner to marry her. STOP DOING THAT!

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. 

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

We begin Episode 47 by honoring our interns…all of them. We then hear some listener feedback regarding the Deep South — turns out this is a very divisive topic. Afterwards, Alison continues her quest to convince Dana that their podcast is secretly a matchmaking site.

During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we immediately debunk the theory that absence makes the heart grow fonder while providing some advice to a woman who’s struggling in her marriage. We also try to figure out how to tell if someone loves you. Finally, we meet yet another “annoying” woman who is trying to force her partner to marry her. STOP DOING THAT!

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. 

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

EPISODE 46 – FREAKY FRIDAY/BANG OUR INTERN

We begin Episode 46 reading text messages between our Absolute Worst Intern and her youthful friend. We also get an update from our dead-tongue listener. We first meet her in Episode 12 and she’s been sending us updates ever since. If you would like to donate to her GoFundMe page, it is here: https://www.gofundme.com/6mffn3-help-amanda-beat-cancer.

During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a listener who is trying to help people but failing miserably and wants to know when enough is enough. Then we fix another marital issue by offering up the magic elixir – blowjobs. And finally, one listener pretends to be angry about Christmas gifts but we’re pretty sure it’s something else.

Our Absolute Yourst section begins with a warning against losing too much weight followed by a Dana Powell impersonation!

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

EPISODE 46 – FREAKY FRIDAY/BANG OUR INTERN

We begin Episode 46 reading text messages between our Absolute Worst Intern and her youthful friend. We also get an update from our dead-tongue listener. We first meet her in Episode 12 and she’s been sending us updates ever since. If you would like to donate to her GoFundMe page, it is here: https://www.gofundme.com/6mffn3-help-amanda-beat-cancer.

During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a listener who is trying to help people but failing miserably and wants to know when enough is enough. Then we fix another marital issue by offering up the magic elixir – blowjobs. And finally, one listener pretends to be angry about Christmas gifts but we’re pretty sure it’s something else.

Our Absolute Yourst section begins with a warning against losing too much weight followed by a Dana Powell impersonation!

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders.

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

In Episode 45, Alison falls apart and dreams of checking into a hotel. Instead, Dana makes her march in a protest. Not helpful, Dana!

During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we finally meet the one listener who LOVES our website. We also hear back from the perfume lady, Dana gets yelled at for telling people not to drink, and the woman we stalk shares an update on her house/albatross.

The Absolute Worst Therapy section begins with a question from a woman who is missing her childhood and somehow this results in Dana ripping on Alison for not speaking Spanish. We also try to help a woman figure out what her BF is up to and then we chastise her for not providing details. Our last listener is wondering if she should reach out to a long-lost family member and Alison and Dana totally disagree as to whether this is reasonable or not.

We end this episode with an Absolute Yourst that makes our vaginas hurt.

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. 

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

In Episode 45, Alison falls apart and dreams of checking into a hotel. Instead, Dana makes her march in a protest. Not helpful, Dana!

During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we finally meet the one listener who LOVES our website. We also hear back from the perfume lady, Dana gets yelled at for telling people not to drink, and the woman we stalk shares an update on her house/albatross.

The Absolute Worst Therapy section begins with a question from a woman who is missing her childhood and somehow this results in Dana ripping on Alison for not speaking Spanish. We also try to help a woman figure out what her BF is up to and then we chastise her for not providing details. Our last listener is wondering if she should reach out to a long-lost family member and Alison and Dana totally disagree as to whether this is reasonable or not.

We end this episode with an Absolute Yourst that makes our vaginas hurt.

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. 

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

EPISODE 44 – ERIC STONESTREET

Today’s guest is Emmy-award-winning actor Eric Stonestreet! Eric is best known for his role as Cam on Modern Family.

In this episode, we discuss the difference between hillbillies and rednecks. We also ruminate about the best types of apples and when it’s appropriate to eat them. Also,TRAINS HEAL THE WORLD!!!

During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we start Eric off with a softball and find out that Dana knows literally everything about bird penises. We then try to decide if a woman needs to get a new dog or divorce her husband. Also, when’s the best time to have sex and how can we articulate this to our partners without having to speak to

them?

At one point, Eric stop therapizing and turns to Alison and Dana for some Oprah-level advice. And, finally, we try to help a woman decide if she’s a city-girl or a country-girl.

Eric ends this episode with an Absolute Yourst that proves drunk Irish people ruin everything.

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to- someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800- 273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-

symptoms-eating- disorders. 

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here:

(800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-

and-survivors/

EPISODE 44 – ERIC STONESTREET

Today’s guest is Emmy-award-winning actor Eric Stonestreet! Eric is best known for his role as Cam on Modern Family.

In this episode, we discuss the difference between hillbillies and rednecks. We also ruminate about the best types of apples and when it’s appropriate to eat them. Also,TRAINS HEAL THE WORLD!!!

During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we start Eric off with a softball and find out that Dana knows literally everything about bird penises. We then try to decide if a woman needs to get a new dog or divorce her husband. Also, when’s the best time to have sex and how can we articulate this to our partners without having to speak to

them?

At one point, Eric stop therapizing and turns to Alison and Dana for some Oprah-level advice. And, finally, we try to help a woman decide if she’s a city-girl or a country-girl.

Eric ends this episode with an Absolute Yourst that proves drunk Irish people ruin everything.

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to- someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800- 273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-

symptoms-eating- disorders. 

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here:

(800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-

and-survivors/

EPISODE 43 – CAN I GET AN AMEN?

In Episode 43, Alison begs Dana to go to couples counseling. We also read lots of listener feedback about Jesus and also Dana’s deep desire to fuck a horse.

During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a lovely girl who puked on a dude and wonders if he’s “the one.” We also attempt to single-handedly fix the bullying issue.

We also read an Absolute Yourst from a woman who teaches us a lot…mostly about what a Canadian Milk Bag is.

We end this episode with the Lord’s Prayer…we don’t…but we try to talk to God and shit gets weird.

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. 

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

EPISODE 43 – CAN I GET AN AMEN?

In Episode 43, Alison begs Dana to go to couples counseling. We also read lots of listener feedback about Jesus and also Dana’s deep desire to fuck a horse.

During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a lovely girl who puked on a dude and wonders if he’s “the one.” We also attempt to single-handedly fix the bullying issue.

We also read an Absolute Yourst from a woman who teaches us a lot…mostly about what a Canadian Milk Bag is.

We end this episode with the Lord’s Prayer…we don’t…but we try to talk to God and shit gets weird.

Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter.

**NOTE**

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. 

In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/