Act Like Men

The Celebration of Freedom
Guest: Brigadier General David Warner
Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Welcome to Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast Notes. You are the reason we exist. Both Dale and I trust there is an inspirational truth in this episode that will impact your life. Our guest today, Brigadier General David Warner USAF (Ret) had many leadership roles in the Air Force. His retiring position was as Director, Communication and Information, and Chief Information Officer, Headquarters Air Force Space Command, Peterson AFB, Colo. Following his time in the Air Force he spent 10 years as the Executive Director at Officers Christian Fellowship, whose purpose is to engage military leaders in Biblical fellowship and growth to equip them for Christlike service at the intersection of faith, family, and profession.
As we a fast approaching Independence day here in the United States, we invited General Warner to share some insights from his military and Christian perspective.
Questions General Warner addresses in this episode regarding memories that Independence Day conjures up.

I think back to when I was on Active Duty and was invited into my wife Lori’s 4 th
grade classroom to talk with them about what it meant to serve our Nation.
To capture their attention, I offered to show my GO coin to whomever asked me the
toughest question. After my quick talk, a young girl raised her hand. Her question:
“Gen Warner, when you look at the American Flag, what do you think of?” (She got
the coin!) After some quick searching I replied that I think of three things…I have come to now call these the most important “4 letter words:”

Duty
- I’ll tie this to our calling, reflecting on those who had answered the call to pay
their ultimate sacrifice.
Home
- As I think of home, I think of the freedom we have to worship openly and freely.
- We get to declare what we believe…I think of Joshua 24:15—As for me and my
house we will worship the Lord!
Love
- The last 4-letter word that matters is one that is also the most powerful—LOVE
- Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Jn
15:13. I had a chance to speak to a POW, Gen (ret) Chuck Boyd (Ret). I’ll never
forget his answer when asked what his greatest lesson as a POW was:
He said, that in that life and death situation, it wasn’t politics, possessions, or
apple pie that got him and his fellow POWs through each day…it was the love
and cohesion of his brother on his right and left whom you know will and
have given their all for you that gets you through and who in turn you can
encourage. As you ponder this idea of freedom, is there anything else that comes to mind?
- While we think about the cost of freedom as I mentioned above, I can’t help but
think about what this cost of freedom has afforded us…in other words, we have
been given freedom from many things…for instance, we are freed from:
o Slavery to sin
o Shame
o Fear
- We mustn’t stop there…this freedom from means we are freed to:
o Love
o Choose
o Be Intentional
o Forgive
o Live where and how we wish
o Belong
o Proclaim the Good News of Christ

Final Challenge from our guest today:
- I’d ask that each of us take time to take inventory of those freedoms we cherish
and celebrate them while remembering those who gave their last full measure
so that we can continue to be free to fulfill our duty, protect our home, and love
unconditionally.
Questions for reflection:

- Name one freedom that you value the most in your life.
- Name one freedom you take for granted the most often.

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1 st and 3 rd Thursdays of each month. For
additional podcasts or resources go to: https://www.mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

#34 - Isolation – A Lurking Danger 

“Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast 

Show Notes 

This topic is especially subject to us being passive or active. The topic is ISOLATION.  Some men, slowly drift into isolation without realizing it.  For other men, they make a deliberate choice to isolate themselves and it is important to understand the emotional trap and consequences that isolation gives to us.

WHAT

In his book, Overcoming Barriers Men Face, Dr. Jim Grassi, the founder of Men’s Ministry Catalyst wrote about the barrier of isolation that each man may have to face at some point in his life.  In his book, Jim begins his challenge of overcoming the barrier of isolation by reminding us that throughout all civilizations, the worst level of incarceration for the punishment that you can give someone is solitary confinement, and yet when it happens in a man’s life we often fail to recognize the pending evil that isolation can bring.

Looking back over our lives, the most unproductive and difficult times in our lives are in isolation.  It can come when we may think we are doing the right thing but have moved away from the relationships that may be the most opportune times.

SO WHAT

Dr. Jim Grassi cautions that even though we may be surrounded by people in our roles in business or ministry, we can still be isolated by choosing to keep people at a distance.  He also concedes that solitude for a time is biblical in its practice and Jim mentioned Moses, though tending sheep mostly alone for 40 years before leading the children of Israel out of Egypt. Jesus too, sought solitude at times to prepare his heart for what was to come in his ministry.  So the discipline of solitude is not what Jim, or Scripture for that matter, warns us about. However, we are warned that when solitude turns into isolation it becomes a threat to our personal growth and our relationships with Christ and others.

NOW WHAT

We are reminded of the foundational point that we first must Recognize Who We Are In Christ. We must remember that we are part of God’s family, and individually and collectively we are the body of Christ.  This is where we are to serve others and use our unique gifts to build up the body of Christ.  Second, we must Actively Seek Regular Fellowship as found in Hebrew 10 where we are encouraged to spur one another on toward love and good deeds and not give up meeting together.

Third, Jim reminds men to Love Our Wives as Christ Loves His Church.  You can’t do that in isolation from your wife or the church.  You must be actively engaged to love at that level.  Fourth, we need to Seek Out a Christian mentor and find a Godly man of deep character and then give him access to speak into our life.  Last, we are challenged to Meet Regularly with a Spiritual Partner, someone who wants to grow in Christ.

These key points of application will not guarantee that we will not face the barrier of isolation, but when we do, we will have a way of overcoming isolation and neutralizing its threat in our lives.

Personal Application from this topic:

1. In what ways have you isolated in the past? What drove you to isolate?  What dangers did you experience in isolation?
2. Which of the strategies for preventing and breaking free from isolation spoke to you most in this podcast?  What will you do as a result?
3. Which three of those strategies will you implement to keep from isolating?

*Much of the information in this Podcast was taken from Dr. Jim Grassi’s book, Overcoming Barriers Men Face.  This and other resources can be found at: www.mensministrycatalyst.org/resources

“Act Like Men” Template
Podcast Show Notes
How to Address Anger?

SO WHAT
So what does the bible say about anger – as Christ followers, we use the Bible as our
standard by which to evaluate all things:
Proverbs 14:17: A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of wicked intentions is hated.
Proverbs 14:29: if you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper you will only show how unwise or foolish you are.
Proverbs 29:11: Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.
Ephesians 4:26-27: In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold.

What are some observations from these verses:
- A quick temper that is acted upon can cause us to make foolish decisions.
-  Encouraged to stay calm, even when we feel anger.
- We can be considered wise, by holding back on venting our anger.
- We will be angry – it cannot be avoided – we need to deal with it soon, so it does not
take a foothold in our life.

How big is this issue with Christian men?
In all of the surveys of men that we do with churches, the need to be able to live a godly life without negatively impacting others or me with my anger is always at the top of the list.

Christian men – many of who have been Christians for a long time, still deal with explosive and potentially toxic areas.

NOW WHAT
What can we do about this potentially destructive issue in our lives?

Thoughts to Consider:
Ask God to help you with your anger and release you from whatever is triggering this
strong emotion in your being. Recognize that it is in you – the anger is on you
regardless of the negative situation that may be causing this strong emotion.
Ask God for the ability to come to grips with this very heated emotion in your life.
Ask God to help you confess your anger, rather than defend yourself through anger.
Ask someone else to be your accountability partner that you will be open and honest
with and call them when something is about to blow up.

Practical Tips:

1. Think before you speak. Often when we are overheated, we end up saying things we
regret. Sometimes the best response is a very limited one until we get a handle on what is causing us to be so angry.

2. Express yourself in “I” statements rather than “you” statements. You statements are
pointing the finger at them as the problem, rather than taking responsibility for your
emotions. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help
with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."

3. Present solutions, not just the problem with negative emotion. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand.

4. Don’t hold a grudge. Forgiveness is a powerful antidote to anger. Keeping in mind, we violated every possible relationship opportunity with God before we came to God, so as He has forgiven us, let us not be the judge and jury for others.

5. Know that you may need some help to get past your anger. There are many avenues
to get help, from support groups for anger, anger management classes, Christian
counselors, and pastors. All of these can be good starting places to understand what is
needed to move past unrelenting, explosive anger.

We will never be Anger free – how can we shift the focus away from the anger and focus on What would faith look like right now instead of anger?

*Much of the information in this Podcast was taken from Dr. Jim Grassi’s Booklet on Anger, also contained in the book, Overcoming Barriers Men Face.

These two resources along with many others can be found at:
www.mensministrycatalyst.org/resources

#32 – Building Transformational Relationships

Guest: Jeff Kemp

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst
Podcast Show Notes

Welcome to Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast Notes. You are the
reason we exist. Both Dale and I trust there is an inspirational truth today
that will impact your life.

Transformed Relationships are ultimately living as Jesus lived. Jesus was the
ultimate man who bore the image of His Father. What are we? As a man,
we are the image bearer of God. God the Father actually calls me His son.
What does that look like and how do we get there?

Many men have things broken in their lives. It could be the married, with
our kids, our work, our neighborhood. Transformation means putting things
back together again.

Jeff spends time sharing that relationships are the rails to help a
transformation take place. Friendship is the key to what God wants for us in
this transformation process. Deep friendships teach us so many things.
One of those keys is to learn to be self-aware so we can grow by becoming
more aware of our strengths and uncovering our blind spots.

Why is it more men do not have these kinds of relationships? Is it fear? Am
I going to feel like more of a failure? I don’t want to be in a relationship
where I feel beat up. Think about one man you had a brother who had your
back – military, sports, work, etc. That is the kind of relationship we are
talking about – only it is not for a short period. You plan to live life together
and help each other get better.

What are the characteristics of that kind of relationship? We are loyal, we
are not there to fix each other, we are open and honest, we listen to each
other, we support each other, and we pray for each other. This looks like
three men who agree to meet each week and begin to build a caring
environment even for Alpha men, knowing we all need someone in our lives
like this. Men make this an intentional priority. It is the way God intended
for long-term spiritual growth with brothers who help you become more the
man God intended in all aspects of your life.

Questions to ask yourself:

1. Who do you have around you that you can help you and you can help?

2. If you don’t have a friend like this, pray that God will bring someone to
your mind whom you can support and they support you.

3. Give your friend a call to have lunch and open yourself up and be willing
to share your friendship with them

4. Intentionally check in every week for a month.

5. Then talk to each other about moving forward with one other man.
To reach Jeff Kemp, https://www.jeffkemp.com

Three Free Resources with links attached:

1. This weeks tip for the Huddle: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CZ9JSEPUyTipkJuTX1uca7o27HcBrp_hNFIvZR4ilCU/edit

2. Easy Steps to Deep Friendship and Huddling:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sn4hrYEPIFFB8aBwKblc-NsbOyOXLkbseMoPwYo0uqk/edit

3. Men Huddle Playbook: download my gift 
https://jeffkempteam.com/mission-men-for-others/

Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1 st and 3 rd Thursdays of each month. For
additional podcasts go to: www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#31 – Finding Hope in a Dark Place: Part Two

Guest: Dr. Clarence Shuler

Founder and President: Building Lasting Relationships

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst
Podcast Show Notes

In the last episode, Dr. Shuler shared his story and presented some very
insightful thoughts on how to walk thru this journey of depression,
loneliness, and anxiety. Whether you are prone to these emotions or are
just in a valley at the moment, Clarence has insight that can help you find
God’s grace during a dark time.

In this episode, he becomes more prescriptive with the things he learned by
God’s grace in the middle of a dark time. He found Isaiah 45:3: I will give
you treasures of darkness and the hidden riches of the secret places, So that
you may know that it is I, the Lord, The God of Israel, who calls
you by name.

At this point, Dr. Shuler goes through a list of things you will want to hear,
that he learned from this verse and his journey. Some of them are:

• God uses these dark times to give us hidden treasures we would have

never received otherwise.

• We don’t have to rush out of the dark times because the darkness is

part of our journey.

•  The Almighty God – calls us by name – He knows where we are and

comes to us in these dark times.

• Ultimately: I don’t have to fake being fine. Hard for a man to admit

this to himself, let alone anyone else.

He also shares some basic steps to keep in mind in this darkness. Some of
them are:

• Admit where you are – you cannot go somewhere until you know

where you are.

• Reach back or reach out to those who can offer help.

• Keep going through your routines: church, family life, working out,

etc.

• Remember, you are not the only one – you are not alone.

Questions to ask yourself:

1. If you are going through a dark spot, have you admitted to yourself that
you are where? Only then will you accept the support you need.

2. Do you know someone who is in a dark spot that needs you to reach out
to help them start the walk forward?

3. Do I believe that God knows my name? Do I believe that it is okay to be
in a dark place for now?

To reach Dr. Clarence Shuler, or buy one of his books:
www.clarenceshuler.com For his latest book: Finding Hope in a Dark
Place, go to Amazon.com and type in Finding Hope in a Dark Place.

Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month. For additional podcasts go to: www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#30 – Finding Hope in a Dark Place: Part One

Guest: Dr. Clarence Shuler

Founder and President: Building Lasting Relationships

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst
Podcast Show Notes

Feeling hopeless or depressed is not uncommon. The pandemic created
more isolation since we were sequestered in our homes and working in our
home offices. This isolation can lead to feelings of hopelessness as we lose
control of so much around us. Even without the pandemic, the statistics, in
general, are that there have been more feelings of a lack of hope – or stages
of hopelessness. Ever been there? Are you there now? Please keep
reading and listening.

Part One: Dr. Shuler shares his own life story and what God allowed him to
experience with him during his journey from hopelessness to being able to
see hope again. Remember Dr. Shuler is also a counselor in addition to
being an author and speaker.

He shares an episode that sent him to the bottom emotionally. He wanted
to withdraw and pull away from everything that was part of his life. He
admitted that he was wanting his self-worth to be validated by the amount
of money that could have been coming his way.

In the middle of it all, he maintained some routines that were vital to getting
unstuck and moving forward. In addition, he had a friend who reached out
and after initially pushing away, he admitted he needed help and accepted
the help of this friend.

Three Questions to ask yourself:

1. What is the thing you lean on to validate your worth and value? Is it
money, titles, cars, houses, etc – we all have something that we are
prone to lean on apart from God’s grace?

2. If you are in the middle of this battle right now – what are the routines
that you might consider maintaining to help you in the journey through
this battle? Keep going to church, stay engaged with family and friends,
working out, etc.

3. If someone reaches out to you how will you respond? If no one reaches
out to you, will you reach out to someone you trust?

To reach Dr. Clarence Shuler, or buy one of his books:
Www.clarenceshuler.com For his latest book: Finding Hope in a Dark
Place, go to Amazon.com and type in the name of the book in the search
bar.

Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1 st and 3 rd Thursdays of each month. For additional podcasts go to: www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#29 – From Fatherless to Fearless

Guest: Candice Crear, Award Winning Author,

Founder of From Fatherless to Fearless.

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes

Fatherlessness is one of the major problems if not the greatest problem in
our world today. Fatherless can be an absent father, neglectful father, or
abusive father. They don’t have to be absent in our life, just absent from
being a positive presence in our lives. They can be neglectful, or even
abusive and still be considered fatherless.

Often our mission in life comes from the pain we have experienced in our
past. Candice embodies this. She was a tremendous achiever in the world
around her to compensate for the hole in her life. God being God, he
allowed the pain of her past life to bring her to Himself that ultimately
resulting in a commitment to leave corporate America to give her life for
those who have similar wounds as she has experienced. Her message is that
our fathers give us our worth and value. As a result, they are extremely
critical in our lives. When our worth goes, our confidence goes, as do the
boundaries we set and what we do to try to fill that hole our entire life.

Candice has developed a tremendous program that works for churches, and
schools and is direct to women who have walked this journey. It is called
the BRIDGE program. The conversations during this 14-week process
become real, raw, and relevant so girls and women can move beyond the
fatherlessness in their life. It requires a hard look at ourselves, owning it,
and being willing to move forward in healing and ultimately freedom from
our past.

One message Candice has – fatherless girls need your support. It is not
adequate to focus on the fathers solely, but also to support those who did
not have a father. We see our Heavenly Father through the lens of how we
experienced our earthly father. Until that perception of a father is changed,

fatherless girls do not know how to fully relate to the perfect Father, God
Himself.

Two Questions to ask yourself:

1. How is your church ministering to the fatherless, specifically fatherless
girls?

2. Who do you know that was fatherless growing up? What might be your
role in their life?

To reach Candice, or buy one of her books:
Email her at: [email protected] or go to her website:
https://fromfatherlesstofearless.org

Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1 st and 3 rd Thursdays of each month. For additional podcasts go to: www.mensministrycatalyst.org


About Author Candice Crear:
While many choose to wallow in self-pity when life doesn’t deal them a full deck of
cards, Candice Crear chose to convert her pain into a greater purpose. This multi-award-winning and international best-selling author is committed to leading fatherless women and girls worldwide from the road of adversity to the highway of wholeness. As a coach and an advocate, she challenges them to confront their true story of power and strength, despite anger and rejection. She also gives them the tangible tools they need to move forward. In addition to being the creator of the B.R.I.D.G.E. ™ technique, which helps others turn their pain into purpose, she
works diligently to pour back into her community. Candice is the founder and CEO of From Fatherless to Fearless ® , an organization that empowers and equips fatherless women and girls to conquer their mental, physical, financial, and spiritual well-being. For more information about From Fatherless to Fearless, visit www.fromfatherlesstofearless.org.

#28 – Impacting the Faith of the NexGen
Guest: Dr. Jeff Baxter, NexGen Pastor, Author, Holy

Land Believer

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst
Podcast Show Notes

NexGen – How do we reach the NexGen? What is a handful of key principles
that we can get ahold of to help with NexGen and personalizing their faith?
NexGen is anyone less than a young adult.
Youth have changed. Decades ago, you would go from youth to adulthood,
starting career, marriage, and children of your own much younger than
today.

Keys to developing an Intergenerational that can
1. Being in a relationship with the next generation. We often associate
with the next generation, but do not participate/engage with them as
we could. We see them, but may be intimidated or let them
2. Don’t check out men when our children become teenagers.
3. Don’t expect them to act consistently as an adult might, even though
they may look like an adult.
4. Come alongside them and extend more grace than enforce the rules.
Set solid boundary lines, but give grace in the journey between those
lines.
5. Always have the welcome mat available when your children want to
talk
6. Have 3 to 5 other Christ-following adults to help speak into their life as
they may turn out parents more at that age.

Two Questions to ask yourself:
1. What is your calling? Might you be called to give yourself to young men
that can change their trajectory?
2. Even if you are not mentoring, how can you impact a young man’s life in
your church, your neighborhood, or your workplace?

To reach Dr. Jeff Baxter, go: to https://www.jeffbaxter.org/
To order a copy of Jeff’s book: Go and Grow, click on the link, or go to
Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/Go-Grow-Parent-Mentor-
Adulting/dp/B0B9SGDHFP/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1665506361&refinements=p_27%3ADr.+Je
ff+Baxter&s=books&sr=1-1&text=Dr.+Jeff+Baxter

Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1 st and 3 rd Thursdays of each month. For additional
podcasts go to: www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#27 – Mentoring to Make a Difference
Guest: Dr. Dedrick Sims, Sims-Fayola Foundation

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst
Podcast Show Notes

Some great insights into mentoring today. Notice how Dedrick talks about
mentoring from a relational standpoint but also points out that many boys
have noise in their life that needs to be understood. To be able to dig in and
help them, the relationship has to be deep enough that both you and the
one you are mentoring need to understand what that noise is so you can
deal with it positively.

Most of us come in with a predisposition that these boys need to get an
education, go out and get a job, or go to college. However there are so
many barriers to prevent that from happening with there is noise in their
life, plus the barriers that derail young men if not addressed thru some kind
of mentoring process. If we buy into the American seasoning, these men
still may not be able
It is important, to tell the truth about these barriers. Not so that young men
get angry and rebel against the system, but so they learn to work within the
system, as challenging as that may be.
We love Dedrick's training program, value his training, and love the
outcome. His group has mentored more than 13,000 young men of color.
Many of these mentors have now mentored many young men year after year
after year.

Two Questions to ask yourself:
1. What is your calling? Might you be called to give yourself to young men
that can change their trajectory?
2. Even if you are not mentoring, how can you impact a young man’s life in
your church, your neighborhood, or your workplace?
To reach Dr. Dedrick Sims, go: to https://www.sffoundation.org/

Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1 st and 3 rd Thursdays of each month. For additional
podcasts go to: www.mensministrycatalyst.org