Act Like Men

#26 – Mentoring Relationships will Open Positive Doors
Guest: Dr. Dedrick Sims, Sims-Fayola Foundation

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst
Podcast Show Notes

Our podcast today is very enlightening as it comes to how to help boys along
into manhood. Dr. Sims shares out of his pain in his home, birthed the
opportunity of Dedrick not to just be able to provide a blessing, but to be a
blessing to others. His pain has turned into someone else's gain.
Dedrick goes into a discussion about the school-to-prison pipeline. This
pathway is especially strong for young men of color. The worst thing that
used to happen in school was you might be paddling, or suspended. Now
they bring in the police with most infractions and that may result in an
appearance before a judge who has a lot of influence in setting up your
destiny. You may now be on their radar and any other future infractions
impact your destiny. This becomes a very slippery slope especially for
young men of color. Once you are in the system, it is very hard to get the
system out of your life.

How do we overcome this?
The most recognized opportunity is for teachers/coaches/mentors who
can make a big difference in showing a young man that there are
other relational challenges.
Relationships can help young men break negative cycles in their life.
Concept: People of color will break a rule before they break a
relationship.

Two Questions to ask yourself:
1. What pain in your life can God use to be a blessing to others?
2. Might you be called into a relationship with a young man who may not
have one with any man, let alone a Christian man?
To reach Dr. Dedrick Sims please go to Sims-Fayola Foundation | Denver
(sffoundation.org)

#25 – How to Create a Healing Church
Helping your Men Break the Cycle of Porn
Guest: Sam Black of Covenant Eyes
Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst
Podcast Show Notes

In the last episode, Sam talks about the epidemic of porn in our country and
in the church today. Even with this epidemic, it is so rarely discussed in the
local church. In this episode Sam Black speaks to process to create a
healing environment for men to come to a place of trust so the healing can
begin. A church should be able to answer to make two statements: I love
you right where you are…. I love you too much to let you stay there. These
are great statements to make, however life is messy and it takes intentional
effort to make these a reality in the life of your church.
To make this happen in your local church Sam discusses two main processes
that need to occur to be able to move forward in this arena:
 A church needs to become a safe place to have this discussion.
 A church needs to create safe processes for this to occur.
While God may chose to heal you right now and completely, in most cases a
person has to work thru their own personal journey to freedom. How life
changing it would be for local pastors and leaders to create this environment
within the context of their local church for this to occur. To many times
those recovering from pornography share that they were not free to find
help thru the context of the local church. There was too much shame in
their own life and since no one is taking about it in the church, they must
be the only one struggling with porn. To get help they needed, they had to
go outside of the church for this help.
Without help, people begin to withdraw from the church and often from their
belief in God itself. “If God really loved me, he would take this away”. The
cyle of shame is as detrimental as the cycle of pornography in terms of
getting help.

If you are a pastor or leader of men and you want you church to take the
process of helping your men get free there are three resources you could
consider to help you:
1. The Healing Church, by Sam Black. A book designed to help your
church create a place for this healing to occur inside the local church.
Amazon.com : the healing church sam black
2. The Victory App – wherever you get the apps for your phone. This
app was created by Covenant Eyes, which is an organization to help
men break free of porn.
3. Newcomer meeting for people wanting to take the first step. Sam
hosts these meetings personally so you know you are dealing with a
man who has struggled like so many, yet is now free from the cycle.
These online meetings can be found at: https://samsonsociety.com
Three Questions to ask as a church:
1. Have we created a safe place in our church for men to be able to
confess their sin?
2. Do we have a process in our church to help men get victory over porn?
3. Are we committed this is kind of discipleship as a local body?
Men’s Ministry Catalyst is a partner of Covenant Eyes
(https://www.covenanteyes.com) as we understand the path to freedom requires
men who have broken the cycle to help other men also break the cycle.
There is hope and help for you as a man, and for your local church! Take
the first step today!
Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month. For additional
podcasts go to: www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#24 – How to Break the Cycle of Porn
Guest: Sam Black of Covenant Eyes
Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast
Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst
Podcast Show Notes

More than 50% of Christian men struggle with pornography. Even with this
epidemic, it is so rarely discussed in the local church. In this episode Sam
Black speaks to three questions:
1. How did I get here in this cycle?
2. Why do I stay here in this cycle?
3. How do I get out of this cycle?
In answering these three questions, Sam dicusses his own personal journey
thru grace to freedom. He discusses in depth the cycle that traps us, and
some very clear steps that can be taken to be set free.
If you are in this cycle, struggle even a little bit with porn, or know someone
who does you will want to explore the resources available to help you break
free.
There are two sources of freedom:

 The Victory App – wherever you get the apps for your phone.
This app was created by Covenant Eyes, which is an organization
to help men break free of porn.
 Newcomer meeting for people wanting to take the first step.
Sam hosts these meetings personally so you know you are
dealing with a man who has struggled like so many, yet is now
free from the cyle. These online meetings can be found at:
https://samsonsociety.com

Sam also talks about four area of self awareness, to be understand how to
get out of this cycle:
1. What am I feeling?
2. What am I thinking?
3. What am I doing?
4. What am I thinking of doing?

Three Questions to ask yourself:
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, where do I find myself in the cycle that was
described by Sam today?
2. Do you have a safe place to begin to walk thru this journey of breaking
this cycle in your life? Who are you thinking of to provide support?
3. Will you make the call now, get the Victory app, and get on the next
Newcomers Meeting this week?
Men’s Ministry Catalyst is a partner of Covenant Eyes
(https://www.covenanteyes.com) as we understand the path to freedom requires
men who have broken the cycle to help other men also break the cycle.
There is hope and help! Take the first step today!
Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1 st and 3 rd Thursdays of each month. For additional
podcasts go to: www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#23 – Setting Goals as a Champion

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes 

We are in the championship season of the New Year when football’s champions are crowned and rewarded for their hard work.  Would it make a difference if godly men used this time of the year to set their personal goals to become true champions for Christ?  Absolutely, but the truth is that men have to think like a champion before they can become one.

In this podcast, we highlight a Biblical hero who happens to be thrust into the limelight when it appears he never expected to be quite the position he finds himself.  He was a champion and God used him in a great way!  We find his keys to success are reproducible as we face this new year.  They are found in Joshua 1:1-8

Four Wrap-Up Thoughts:  

• Remember that just like Joshua, God has a purpose for your life.  
• Stand on the promises of God.  God tells Joshua that all of the promises made to Moses were now his.  God said that not only are these promises yours, but no one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life.  How’s that for a game plan for a champion?
• In 2023, be assured of God’s presence.  At the end of verse 5, God said, “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you” 
• Anchor yourself in the Scriptures.  God told Joshua several times in this chapter to be strong and courageous. But he was also to be careful to obey all that Moses gave him; in fact, Joshua was to meditate on God’s Word day and night, so that he would be careful to do everything written in it. Anchoring ourselves in God’s Word is what will truly make us prosperous and successful in God’s eyes in 2023.

Two Questions to ask yourself: 

1. What am I facing this year that will require a Joshua kind of courage and strength?
2. Who are my Aaron and Hur to hold up my arms to keep me strong?  

Men’s Ministry Catalyst has resources to help you be successful spiritually in 2023.   Beside Still Waters is a daily devotional with great stories and solid Biblical application.  

#22 – Happy New Year

Can I get a do-over?    

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes 

When a new year begins, we often think about starting over with a clean slate.  We do things like make new year’s resolutions and start the next diet, all because we think something needs to change to make things better.  In effect we want a “do-over” and the New Year can remind us of God’s grace and forgiveness if we start from a point of being right with Him.

One of the great things about a new year is that many of us are focused on what we can do differently this year than last.  It became September of 2021 and we realized that we had not done things much differently than we did in 2020.  The problem is life got in the way.  

This podcast is specifically focused on our God being the God of do-overs, or also called second chances.  Many of us need a second chance in life and some need it now.  Today we will focus on how God gives us this do-over opportunity.   By the way – none of us are immune from needing that second chance.  

We jump into the bible with the story of Peter – you remember, the “open mouth insert foot” man that Jesus gently provided a second chance.  John 21

Do you need a do-over spiritually?  

Here are some thoughts from Peter’s story: 

1. Own and confess whatever you have done that needs the forgiveness from God.  If you are confused over what sin is, ask God to help you understand when and if you have let Him down.  Go to His Word, the Bible, as that is our roadmap for life. 
2. Turn from that sin or behavior.  It’s one thing to confess it but take some steps to keep away from that sin.  Maybe you need an accountability partner.  Maybe you need to stop a subscription service or to change a driving habit or route or delete something offensive from your cell phone or computer.
3. Return to the Father.  I cannot stress this enough that the Father wants you back not to pay you back, but to demonstrate that the type of love that he has for you He wants to bring us back.

God wants a relationship with Him, not just Christian behavior.  Do what it takes, with small steps, to build into your life, time for God and the relationship building opportunity.  You will be forever glad you did.  

Until next time, know that God wants you to become an authentic, biblically based, man of God.  This is a great time to start. 

Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts go to:  www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#21 – Holiday Memories    

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Script  

I remember one holiday in particular 

Overall Podcast Intro: 

As we spoke on the last podcast: Christian holidays, while designed to be celebratory, and the expectations are usually very high, can be very challenging.  As men we let it sneak up on us and are unprepared to do anything except rush them. Or we can spend so much time on the social calendar that it hardly seems like Christmas at all; we often delegate most of the family holiday part to our wife so then we become just a passenger, or the proactive approach is that you and your wife can take some time to talk about the holiday and plan.  This allows you to be intentional about what you and your family want to accomplish thru this very important Christmas Holiday.   It is what can make it meaningful and lasting for your entire family.  If you have not yet listened to the previous episode, #20 How to Make the Most of Your Holidays, take a minute as we give some outstanding tips to help you navigate the holidays.    You can go to our website and pull it up, or grab it wherever you normally consume a podcast.  

So today:  let’s have some fun talking about Holiday memories.  

What were the holidays like around your house growing up?    

What is a good holiday for you and your family – a happy time? 

How many kids were in your family when you were growing up – where did you fit in the family?   

Where did you live?  

Was your family Christian? 

What was at the center of these holidays 

What were some of the traditions?

How did you decorate?  Inside and out?  

When did you open your gifts?  Why do you think that was?

Have you carried any of these traditions forward?

What role did your father play in the Holiday?

Is Christmas a holiday for men?    Think about the things involved here:   A baby involved (with two showers, shepherds, and Wise men) gift planning and giving, wrapping gifts (ugh – and thank God for gift bags) 

What can we do to make this a more masculine holiday?

Lead or participate in the task-oriented portion – go hunting for specific gifts for your family, take your kids with you and go shopping for gifts for mom/wife (not amazon), put up the tree as a family,  put up the lights on the house (if you do that),  lead your family in discussions about the Reason for the Season... 

Questions to ask and share with your family: 

1. What is the best memory you have of the holidays?   What was it like growing up?  What were your traditions? 
2. What was one challenging memory around the holidays and why?   Frame it in a way your kids (if you have them), or your friend will get some insight into past pain with Holidays.   It is not all tinsel and lights.  
3. What will you do to help your loved ones not experience that kind of pain?  
4. What part does and should God play in our Christmas holiday?  

Men – make some memories with your kids this holiday season, that have a lifetime impact.  

Just a reminder these podcasts are leased on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts go to:  www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#20 – Leading Your Family Thru the Holidays   

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Holidays can be very challenging.  As men we either let it sneak up on us and are unprepared to do anything except rush them; we spend so much time on the social calendar that it hardly seems like Christmas at all; we delegate most of the family holiday part to your wife (she does it so much better than me anyway), or you and your wife can take some time to talk about the holiday and plan.  This allows you to be intentional about what you and your family want to accomplish thru this very important Christmas Holiday. 

Let’s start this episode by establishing The Reason for the Season and what we are celebrating at Christmas.   

1. Celebrating the Birth of God’s one and only son, Jesus Christ.   The angel appeared to the Shepherds on the night of Jesus' birth, “I bring you good news that will cause great joy amount the people.  Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord”.  Luke 2:10-11 
2. Why does Christmas matter?  I thought Easter was the most important Holiday.  At Christmas, we celebrate who He is and the gift God gave us – His only son.  At Easter, we celebrate what he did as the fulfillment of thousands of years of prophecy fulfilled in Jesus Christ.  He is the Way the truth and the life and our only pathway to God the Father and eternity in Heaven.   

There were three titles that the angel used that applied to Jesus: 

1. He is the Savior who delivers us from sin and death. Matthew 1:21
2. He is Messiah – the human – who fulfills the law and the prophets showing us God’s faithfulness
3. He is God almighty who entered in human flesh; God and man fused together to pay for our sins and give us eternal life.   

Easter is where we see the fulfillment of the final piece that gives us the victory to overcome the world and know Heaven is our home.  

1. What is it about the traditions we use to celebrate the birth of Jesus?
   1. We give gifts because of the incredible gift God gave to us – His son, and the Wise Men also showed the reflection of the gift of the Father by giving gifts to Jesus.  2 Corinthians 9:15
   2. We string lights because Jesus is the light of the world who has come to us. John 1:4, Isa 9:2
   3. We sing Christmas Carols because of the Angels singing on Christmas. Luke 1-2
   4. We decorate Evergreen trees with stars, angels, and tinsel because of the eternal life Jesus makes possible.  

What are a few simple (not necessarily easy) steps we can consider to ensure we don’t let Christmas get past us this year?   

1. Establish what are you trying to accomplish this Christmas  

A couple of ideas; 

1. Have a family over for Christmas so you can share God’s Reason for the Season with them. 
2. Take time to go look at Christmas lights, go to a Christmas program, etc.  Be sure to talk about the reason for the season while you are doing this.  
3. Time set aside to make your purpose happen 
4. What do you need to say NO to so you can say YES and make this happen – if we feel compelled to do everything, we end up rushing thru everything and accomplishing very little towards our goals.  
5. Plan your budget for family gifts – stick there

#19 – Building Intentional Male Relationships – Part two!  

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Script

To review from Part One: Barna recently polled men on how important their faith is to them in their daily lives.   The believing men showed that 8 of 10 said it was central to their life.  Nonbelieving men was just over 3 of 10 said faith was central to their life.  Of those same men that were polled, only 30% of Christian men as satisfied in their relationships, while 27% of nonbelieving men are satisfied in their relationships.  More than one third of Christian men and nearly as much for nonbelievers report that report feeling lonely in the last month, and the percentage of men under 35 report significantly higher numbers still.   

We say one statistic from a few years ago that indicated 95% of men in general indicated they do not have a close personal friend.  You know the saying is, who would you call if you or your family needed help at two in the morning.   The situation is real, and it is dire:  men have not traditionally done well at making space in their schedule or opened themselves up to close relationships until they are in some kind of trouble and need help.   

We know from Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 that “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil, for if one falls, the other will lift him up. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has no another to lift him up…and though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a cord of three strands is not easily broken.”   We add to it from Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”   These verses provide the directional pursuit that God had intended for us as men.  

This is part two of a two-part series on men and male friendships.  In the first podcast of this two part series, we spoke to men and their emotions.  We walked thru a list of 8 reasons why a man could be struggling as it comes to dealing with his own emotions.   If you have not yet listened to #18 about emotions – please take 20 minutes and do so.  Go to www.mensministrycatalyst.org and under the podcast tab you will find the previous podcast.  This podcast will speak to the need for men to have strong male friendships that helps us be better and do better, referring to the verses we listed at the top of the program.  

In the podcast today we discuss three areas:  1) We discuss Five Myths we have observed about why men do not have a close personal friend.   2) What is the progressive nature for those who are struggling at having a close personal male friend – focused on what happens when we ignore or keep stuffing our emotions.  3) We will highlight some steps you can take that will build a good path to building a close friendship with another man.

Personal Reflection Questions: 

1. Who has come to your mind when it comes to developing a deep friendship?   
2. What is one step you can take to begin this journey?  

Remember God created you to enjoy healthy relationships and to move towards wholeness.   His Holy Spirit is wanting to strengthen you as you move forward.   

  For additional podcasts go to:  www.mensministrycatalyst.org

#18 – Building Intentional Male Relationships – Part One!  

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

This is part one of a two-part series on men and male friendships.  Today we will speak to men and their emotions and in part two, Podcast #19, we will speak to men and their male friendships.  

In this podcast today we want to highlight some of the causes or why men struggle with their emotions. 

Let’s jump right into some of the causes: 

1. Don’t understand its importance – if you have been told all your life to not express your emotions, you do not get a chance to see the impact on you or others close to you by actually understanding and being able to express emotions.  If no male in your life as a man has ever modeled the expression of healthy emotions, it is really difficult for you to understand its importance.  You believe it is normal to push down your emotions and to not share them.  
2. Problematic Childhood – childhood is where people begin to form their personalities and learn how to cope with the stressors of the world.   When a child grows up under a stress-filled and possibly inappropriate childhood their perception of “normal” is formed.  They learn how to cope on their own – and it is not usually a healthy coping mechanism.  When young men have to stifle or redirect their emotions, they do not learn to communicate effectively and understand the source or substance of their emotions and it usually comes out as self-destructive or “other destructive” behavior.  Emotions are complicated to start with and when you throw trauma in the mix at a young age, it can lead to closed or suppressed emotions.  
3. Judgment – being afraid of being judged for how you feel, causes you to not express emotion.  This is one of the main factors for men to keep their emotions to themselves.  This leads to varying levels of stress, which has other complications. 
4. They don’t know how – little boys often have very little direction on how to express their emotions.   Boys are often taught to “toughen up”.  When you tell a boy that long enough without teaching him how to express emotion, as they age they learn how to refuse their emotions and it stunts emotional maturity.   This of course impacts future relationships of any kind.  It keeps the relationships surface, non-emotional, and task-oriented only.    
5. Trying to Demonstrate confidence / Fear of weakness – the old slogan, “fake it until you make it” is real here.  The other one – “be a man”, without definition or direction, is also problematic.  These men live in fear that they will be found out who they are emotionally.  They often refuse to admit shortcomings, which ultimately can hinder their career as well as relationships.   It leads to emptiness as no amount of faking positive strength will lead to fulfillment.   
6. Don’t want to burden their partner – many times as protectors and providers, we feel that if we share what we are feeling, it will create insecurity with the one whom we are trying to protect.  They often do this for the right reason – protect your partner – but with the wrong outcome.  The partner often feels more isolated and fearful of being completely honest on their side as well.   Partners want to be able to understand what each other is dealing with – not that they have to solve it, fix it, be insecure because of it, or run from it.   

#17 – Living Life with the End in Mind!  

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes

Guest:  Rev. Lee Hall

Living Life with the End in Mind – In this episode we are talking to two Hospice Chaplains that have tremendous experience in dealing with people at the end of their life.  Pastor’s Hall and Eudy offer tremendous insight for young, middle, and older men on how to live today to prepared effectively for the end of your life with no regrets for you or your loved ones.  As Pastor Lee said, “talking about death does not make death come more quickly”. 

We are honored to have with us:  Rev. Lee Hall - Lee Hall Sr is from San Felipe, Texas. He is married to his bride Angela and together they have 4 children               and 9 grands.  Pastor Hall is the pastor of Grace Christian Center in Denver for the past 10 years.  He is also the co-author of "Pray or Become Prey", a book on           prayer partnerships for leaders. Pastor Hall has a Master of Divinity from Gateway Seminary and currently is a Chaplain at Denver Hospice.   If you desire to          reach Pastor Hall, he can be reached at:  [email protected]

Today we are approaching:  

1. Biggest fulfillment people are their deathbed express: as the people you have worked with over the years face death for a variety of reasons, what are some of the areas that provide the most fulfillment is this very delicate and difficult time? 
2. The reason I can leave this life now with peace is because:   As men are facing almost certain death, what are you hearing most consistently as men are facing certain death, that gives them inner peace as they are getting ready to leave family and friends?  
3. Biggest concerns and regrets when facing leaving this life:  Death can bring out the best in people and their families.  We know that it can also create some of the most difficult experiences as men and their loved ones have ever experienced.  This is a time when you wish for everyone that as painful as the separation of death is, they had prepared well, so it could end well.   What are the most common regrets and concerns expressed in these challenging days?
4. What are 3 or 4 of the best suggestions of Living with the End in Mind, for all of us who are listening to this podcast.    You will not want to miss the answers these two great chaplains provide.   

Pastor Lee:  “it matters more about what we leave IN our loved ones than what we leave FOR them” 

Personal reflection questions: 

1. When I think of being on my deathbed, I immediately realize I need to: (finish this statement)
2. What is one thing I need to speak to my loved ones about?
3. What one step can take to be sure I focus on what I leave IN my loved one?  

Receive the Resource that was mentioned in the podcast entitled:  “Because I Love You”, please ….