Active Pause

See the audio recording below the text.

Today, I am going to describe to you a one-minute practice. Now, when I say one minute, it could be 50 seconds or five minutes. We’re not timing it.

You sit on a bench or a chair, with your feet touching the ground. If you are on a chair, your back is not touching the back of the chair.

Your hands are in front of you. You touch the fingers to each other so that each finger touches the corresponding fingers on the other hand. You rest your arms on your lap with the fingers facing forward and the thumbs facing up. You close your eyes.

As you gently breathe, you feel the fingers touching each other with gentle pressure. As you feel this gentle pressure, you feel the elbows moving away from each other. You keep gently breathing as you do this. You notice that, as you gently push the fingers together and move the elbows away from each other, your spine will probably tend to gently straighten up. To gently elongate.

And you may also notice that your shoulders might tend to open up and gently make more room in your chest. As you stay with this, you see the quality of allowing as opposed to forcing.

When it feels right, you stop.

What do you notice?

Often, the kinds of things you notice as you’re doing this, or afterward, are very subtle.

And that’s what a pause does. It’s a slowing down and getting into a different rhythm, which includes noticing things that we would not necessarily see when we’re not in pause mode.

But we’re also talking about noticing. That quality, together with the allowing, is what makes the pause active. It’s not just an interruption. It’s an active pause.

You can do it once a day. You can do it many times throughout the day. I’m inviting you to play with it, with an attitude of curiosity. And notice what happens, moment by moment, and over time, as you experiment with this practice.

Inspired by Merete Holm Brantbjerg.

This conversation starts with a guided, experiential exploration. Then we talk about early developmental experiences, with a perspective informed by trauma therapy and mindfulness.

Cherionna Menzam-Sills, Ph.D., began teaching Embodied Embryology through somatic movement in 1997 as part of her doctoral studies in Pre- & Perinatal Psychology, which led to her teaching at Naropa University and the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. She has taught and facilitated Pre- and Perinatal Psychology/Therapy, Continuum, a mindful movement practice, and Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy globally, often with her husband, Biodynamics pioneer Franklyn Sills. Her background includes extensive study with Pre- and Perinatal Psychology pioneers William Emerson and Ray Castellino, and Continuum founder, Emilie Conrad, who authorized her to teach Continuum in 2007. Cherionna has authored two books, The Breath of Life: An Introduction Craniosacral Biodynamics and, recently, Spirit into Form: Exploring Embryological Potential and Prenatal Psychology. Cherionna is committed in her work & life to embodied presence. See website.

Published November 2021.

Elliot Jurist and I had planned to have a recorded conversation about his perspectives on the human mind. Ten days before our conversation, his father passed away. So we talked about the process of mourning and how it relates to the human condition.

Elliot Jurist, Ph.D., Ph.D. is Professor of Psychology at The City College of New York, CUNY.  From 2004-2013, he served as the Director of the Clinical Psychology Doctoral Program at CUNY. From 2008-2018, he was the Editor of Psychoanalytic Psychology, the journal of Division 39 of the APA. He is the editor of a book series, Psychoanalysis and Psychological Science, from Guilford, and author of a book in the series, Minding Emotions: Cultivating Mentalization in Psychotherapy, which was named best theoretical book in 2019 by the American Board and Academy of Psychoanalysis. He is the author of Beyond Hegel and Nietzsche: Philosophy, Culture and Agency  (MIT Press, 2000) and co-author of Affect Regulation, Mentalization and the Development of the Self (Other Press, 2002), and co-editor of Mind to Mind: Infant Research, Neuroscience, and Psychoanalysis (Other Press, 2008).  In 2014, he received the Scholarship Award from Division 39 of the APA.

Published October 2021.

In this conversation, Jan Winhall describes how therapists can respectfully understand addiction and treat trauma responses with deep embodied listening.

Jan Winhall M.S.W. F.O.T. is a psychotherapist, teacher, and the author of Treating Trauma and Addiction with the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model. She is an adjunct lecturer in the Department of Social Work, University of Toronto. Jan is director of Focusing on Borden, a psychotherapy and training centre. She presents internationally on trauma and addiction. Jan is a co-founder of the Integrative Focusing Therapy online training program. See janwinhall.com

Published October 2021

In this conversation, we discuss the felt sense as the experience of living (i.e., interacting) from a neuroscience perspective.

Peter Afford has been practicing and teaching Focusing for years. Based in London, he is a Coordinator for TIFI and a founder member of the British Focusing Association. He also works as a counsellor and therapist in private practice and has been studying neuroscience for over 20 years. He is the author of Therapy in the Age of Neuroscience, and has written articles on Focusing and neuroscience which can be found at focusing.co.uk/neuroscience.

Published September 2021

In this far-ranging conversation, we talk about the limitations of “McMindfulness” and discuss what it feels like to explore a new sense of self in the context of interaction.

Ronald Purser, Ph.D. is the Lam-Larsen Distinguished Research Professor of Management at San Francisco State University. His latest book, McMindfulness: How Mindfulness Became the New Capitalist Spirituality, was published by Repeater Books/Penguin Random House. Dr. Purser is host of the Mindful Cranks podcast. See his website.

Published August 2021.

So, just human… Just human… So, for me, that is in contrast to those times when we talk about something transcendent, something like religious ideas, ideologies, and something out there that gives meaning… Whereas — just human — we are at the center of meaning [as something essentially subjective].

So, just human… Just human… As we focus on the experience, this experience is also going to be something that’s going to affect our sensations, our felt sense, moment by moment. We slow down, we pause. We’re not just carried away by big things. We pause, we check inside. As we pause and check inside, we also notice the other person, or the other people, as people. And so again, from the place of “just human,” we communicate with each other as human beings, as opposed to obstacles in the way of something transcendent. When we are in that mode — paying attention to our experience — even when we are exploring big ideas or transcendent experiences…

When we pay attention to our own experience, we are away from the realm of the black and white, the simplistic, the “this is right” and “this is wrong”. We are in a much murkier zone, a grayer zone, where words don’t necessarily have simple meanings. This is the “hmm”, the pausing, paying attention to it…

And so we’re very much in a Focusing mode. And Focusing is the attitude, the tool, the language that enables us to explore that area of “just human”… of human experience… In which we can touch upon the trivial, but also the sublime, in such a way that we can feel the richness and complexity of it. And we can build bridges to communicate, develop the richness and complexity of it with other people who do not necessarily come from the same point of view.

That’s the beauty of being just human.

Published July 2021

In this conversation, we explore faith as a human experience. That is, it need not be attached to any religious narrative. We talk about finding faith organically in the midst of darkness and doubt — far from the contrived positivity of “have faith!”

Monica Gomez Galaz is a Focusing Coordinator in Mexico City. She is a personal coach and focusing trainer. As a curious dreamer and a never-ending student of life, she is interested in how personal evolution connects us with something bigger. Through Biodecoding and Focusing, she has a better understanding of her own Body History. In her practice, she has evolved a new way of bringing awareness to biological function creating a natural trust in the process.

Özlem Maviş is currently working as a care aide for people with developmental disabilities in Victoria, Canada, and studying spiritually integrated psychotherapy. Focusing, since she discovered it in 2017, has guided her consistently within her inner landscape. She is particularly interested in combining Focusing with creative expression and sensing a subtle language of the soul. She makes watercolor illustrations that are inspired by the sacred presence she senses when her heart is still, or when it is dancing and glimmering with life.

Published July 2021.

Annie Bloch has been practicing meditation and Focusing. She talks about Focusing as a direct connection with our inner wisdom.

Annie Bloch is a hunter- gatherer-gardener in the fields of systems thinking, cognitive sciences, and psychotherapy. French and half American, on a dual path: Buddhist and Jewish.

Published June 2021.

Mark Schenker defines addiction and talks about his integrative model.

Mark Schenker is a licensed psychologist with 40 years of experience working with patients with substance use disorders. Dr. Schenker has written “A Clinician’s Guide to Twelve-Step Recovery” (Norton, 2009) and the chapter “Addiction Treatment Settings” for the APA Handbook of Clinical Psychology (APA, 2016). He has taught and supervised clinicians at universities and treatment programs, and has presented nationally and internationally (well, Toronto). He received the 2017 “Addiction Professional of the Year” award from the Caron Foundation, and a Presidential Citation from APA Division 50 in 2018, where he has served on the Board of Directors. He hosted a monthly Clinical Conference Call on behalf of Division 50, featuring speakers and callers from around the world. He is committed to training clinicians to address the problem of addiction in their practices. Dr. Schenker maintains a practice outside of Philadelphia with a focus on addiction psychology and family/couples therapy. See website.

Published June 2021