Krispy Kreme apologizes for advertising KKK Wednesday; some poor guy is listening to Nickelback for 168 hours straight for charity; A Rod apologizes to fans; Afroman beats up a fan; Pat Robertson continues to bring the crazy warning us agains covens of witches who are cursing your family through facebook; Funkhouser tracks his own health by smelling his own farts; today's inspiration comes to us from Confucius.

Presidential pensions are huge, yours will not be; did SNL's 40th anniversary signal the end of an era; critics slam 50 shades of grey; the digital age has made us a nation of national enquirer readers; Funkhouser celebrates valentines day with cheeseburgers.

Sex related injuries are up in america thanks to 50 shades of grey; we discuss why defeating 30,000 isis jihadists is our job not theirs, and we ask muslim countries to step up; will jon stewart take over for brian williams? ; Funkhouser avoids valentines day.

Parents are taking their kids to measles parties where they intentionally expose them to the measles virus; we are now awarding purple hearts for "workplace violence"; a girl gets fired on twitter before she even starts her job; Brian Williams suspended from NBC for 6 months; Jon Stewart is leaving the daily show; Tom Brady said waking up next to gisele after winning a superbowl was "pretty special"; Funkhouser breaks down Mercury in retrograde and explains what we can and cannot blame on it

Turns out Grammys are a big fundraising event for both republicans and democrats in congress; sam smith won big by ripping off tom petty; brian williams is suspending himself; three women set up a massive prison break in brazil by having an orgy with prison guards; a chinese company offered their empoyee of the year a choice: a night with a pornstar or a brand new porche; funkhouser would pick the porche.

England has approved three-parent babies; doctors warn women not to follow gweneth paltrow's advice to steam clean their vaginas; strippers in oregon lobby state legislature for government mandated better work conditions; bill belichick kisses his daughter on the lips at super bowl, nation vomits a little in its mouth; funkhouser looks to the stars for truth.

John Stewart said we should blame the outbreak of measles on "science denying affluent california liberals" he may have a point; wealthy white liberal areas of california have low vaccination rates that rival south sudan; kim kardashian wants to take a selfie with jesus; funkhouser proves himself to be a do-er not a talker; today's inspiration come from charles caleb colton

House chair of oversight comittee wants to call NFL comissioner Goodell before the comittee so he can demand the league start paying taxes; Randy Quaid and his wife ride the crazy train in a new video involving dogs, doing it, and a Rupert Murdoch mask; Funkhouser enjoyed his watching his one football game of the season.

two weeks after facebook ceo mark zuckerberg released a harshly worded jesuischarlie statemt, facebook censors images of the prophet muhammad; kim kardashian says her family supports bruce jenner; AD catches up on the events of the week in Prestina Kosovo with his dad and discusses the birth of a new democracy and maybe how we can learn a couple things from it; Funkhouser hates Canadians