LGBT is the new Black in affirmative action, companies wanting diversity seek out LGBT firms to do business with- will this breed mediocraty; more and more cities are banning sledding; Bruce Jenner wants his own reality show, Funkhouser would be willing to go on it.

AD breaks down how Al Sharpton makes money off of race baiting; Lindsey Lohan has a disease which is remarkably NOT sexually transmitted; Sylvester Stallone is making another RAMBO movie; A California couple got married at Cosco; Funkhouser denies littering at the Rose parade.

You can now go to Cuba legally and bring back 100 dollars in cigars as long as you have a good reason; Sony has cancelled the release of The Interview and North Korea really is to blame; Funkhouser celebrated Hanukkah with Jewish Pornstars. Oye!

Sony tells movie theatres it's all right if they don't want to show the movie The Interview after terrorist threats; public safety officials kill their 'don't jerk and drive' campaign over fear of offending people; man uses santa-con bar crawl as a cover to rob a bank dressed as santa; Funkhouser fails to finish his christmas shopping.

Reasons why you're not getting a Christmas bonus; Mama June & Sugar Bear from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo could make a million dollars doing porn; ISIS is selling James Foley's body for a million dollars; Funkhouser's girlfriend recovers from explosive intestinal distress just in time for the boat parade.

Ways to avoid a nervous breakdown over the holidays; man is busted walking around naked and pleasuring himself and he blames it on his mom not letting him watch porn in the house; convicted sexual predator wins 3 million dollar lottery; Funkhouser misses out on fondue because of sick girlfriend

Mississippi teen burned alive, protesters silent; English doctor suggests you pleasure yourself before your company christmas party; Labron James causes international incedent by putting his arm around Kate Middleton; Funkhouser almost makes out with his boss

What to do when the coffee fails you; Walgreens pulls its Hanukkah wrapping paper after someone notices a swastika printed on it; Miley Cyrus makes out with Paris Hilton, will we all die from the outbreak?; Funkhouser goes to Christmas party, allows girlfriend to get hammered

Nicki Minaj appeared on Saturday Night Live, huge black boobs ensued; Slayer rescues a kitten; Funkhouser channels his inner tween girl at #JingleBall