The tiny version of you that lives in my head didn't react the way you did. how we end up with inaccurate working models of the people in our lives and the practice arguments we have with them start to crumble. 

Keeping score? building a case? or just figuring out who we are dealing with? It's impossible not to keep a tally of our interactions with others. Is holding loosely a recipe for getting hurt?

How the rags to riches tale hurts us, how oversimplified journalism bypasses our empathy and why not being done and still being messy gets in the way of us sharing the moments we are still living in. 

When we create our own propaganda there's a story of who we want to be seen as. Maybe looking at that person tells us something new. Or we're so full of crap we forgot who were until we wrote it in Ink. 

A little bit of not for me ness goes a long long way. 

While there are plenty of us who have no trouble with selfishness others of us struggle to even begin to open the door to wanting anything for ourselves. 

part 2 of a 3 episode cluster on losing faith, this episode explores the impact of not having the belief systems and models of thinking to rely on. and makes parallels to losing a relationship or simply trust in what we think we know. 

Protect yourself, don't trust, don't love too easily and keep your energy for those who deserve it. To be strong, we preach our vulnerability, share our truths, yet we also hold such bile for our counterparts that we hurt ourselves more than we need to, and we never get from the other the change we hope they can make. 

When we seek to help people change, the effort to keep seeing them with 'unconditional positive regard' is more freeing and powerful than we realise. 

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://bnjh.wordpress.com/2020/12/18/unconditional-positive-regard/

Whose opinion of our work matters? is the feedback of our work critical to development or a step in the process we have got lost in?