ADHDifference

In this solo episode, Curiously ADHD, Julie Legg sits down with a cup of coffee to answer frequently asked questions she’s received over time from people trying to make sense of ADHD. 

This episode is both personal and practical, aiming to empower listeners through shared experiences and pragmatic guidance rather than medical advice. Julie emphasizes that she is not a medical professional, but a diagnosed ADHDer and author who has spent years researching and speaking with others in the community. 

5 KEY QUESTIONS ADDRESSED

0:00:00 Intro 

0:01:39 Q1:  "I was tested for ADHD and they said it was probably anxiety. I'm hesitant to spend thousands more for a second opinion and I'm pretty sure I do have ADHD though. Any suggestions?”  

0:07:35 Q2:  “How do you know that you've got emotional dysregulation because you might just think it's normal?” 

0:11:54 Q3:  “One of my biggest ADHD challenges is how to stop my epic retail spending sprees. I spend too much money impulsively on the things I do not need and cannot afford. What can I do?” 

0:17:51 Q4:  “I think my partner has ADHD but I don't know how to broach the subject.” 

0:22:41 Q5:  “I was diagnosed with ADHD when I lived overseas. I have the reports and I've come back to New Zealand and now I have to get reassessed before I can access medication?" 

LINKS

Self-Screening Assessment Tool – ADHD New Zealand

A Change for Better

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Wherever on your ADHD journey, you are not alone. Julie and Jel Legg reflect on the importance of community, connection, and shared experiences for those living with ADHD. 

The conversation is sparked by their attendance at a recent author’s event and the overwhelming sense of affirmation and belonging that came from engaging with readers who identified with The Missing Piece, Julie’s book for women diagnosed with ADHD later in life. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Community is critical: Finding like-minded people helps mitigate feelings of isolation that can accompany an ADHD diagnosis.
• Affirmation matters: Small affirmations from others who understand ADHD can be deeply validating.
• You are not alone: Many have similar struggles, and shared stories create a sense of belonging.
• Diagnosis is a journey, not a destination: Post-diagnosis, understanding and self-acceptance continue to evolve.
• ADHD is constant but not central: It influences life but does not need to dominate it; most daily life is “normal stuff.”
• Courage to connect: Engaging in conversations about ADHD can require bravery, but it often leads to powerful, supportive relationships.
• Resources are plentiful: Organizations like ADHD New Zealand provide in-person and online support options.
• No need to "reinvent the wheel": Others have walked similar paths and their experiences can provide valuable guidance.

LINKS

ADHD New Zealand

OLDER – Unmasked: the ADHD album

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Dr Alessandra Wall, founder and CEO of Noteworthy, joins Julie Legg to reflect on her life, career, and insights into women in leadership. 

She shares her experiences of working with children and adults with ADHD and what led her to shift from psychology to founding Noteworthy, a platform helping women in leadership roles find their voice and value. Though never formally diagnosed with ADHD, Alessandra recognised many of its traits in herself. The conversation dives deep into how to communicate our value, the reality of executive stress, the concept of the “gilded cage” and the power of the pause.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Noteworthy: Alessandra's leadership platform supports women in high-powered roles by encouraging authentic self-expression and dismantling internalised narratives that keep them playing small. Success shouldn’t require compromise on identity or mental health.
• Women in Leadership: Many are high-functioning but secretly burning out or feeling "less than." Societal expectations, especially around femininity and behaviour, often cause women to mask their neurodivergent traits more than men.
• Communicating Your Value: Women often downplay their abilities or wait for external validation. It is important that women are able to articulate their worth—not in a loud or performative way, but with clarity, intention, and confidence.
• Managing Stress: Stress is a constant in high-performance environments, but it's how we relate to it that matters. Many high-achievers are taught to grind, but few are taught to rest with purpose.
• The Gilded Cage: This metaphor refers to being successful on paper while feeling unfulfilled, stuck, or disconnected in reality. Life ‘at the top’ can feel like a prison made of gold—prestige, salary, title—but still a prison.
• “Mastering the Pause”: The power of stopping, reflecting, and responding with intention. ADHD brains are often fast-reacting, but the pause allows for clarity, emotional regulation, and better decision-making.

LINKS:

• LinkedIn – Dr Alessandra Wall 
• Website - Noteworthy
• Noteworthy Newsletter 
• Unforgettable - A 3-step roadmap to articulating your value with confidence, poise, and Impact
• Back To Me, a 4 week guide to restoring balance & regaining control

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie and Jel Legg explore the deep emotional responses people with ADHD often have to perceived injustices. They delve into the concept of justice sensitivity, describing how this sensitivity can manifest in different areas of life—particularly through heightened emotional responses and a strong sense of moral fairness.

They introduce the four key domains of justice: Distributive (fairness in outcomes), Procedural (fairness in processes), Interpersonal (fairness in treatment), Informational (fairness in communication). The conversation highlights how ADHD traits such as emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and intensity of feelings contribute to a heightened sensitivity to unfairness. The duo reflect on both childhood and adult experiences—ranging from emotional triggers to social scenarios like queue-jumping—that evoke strong reactions due to this innate sense of right and wrong.

Rather than merely complaining, they aim to unpack why ADHDers react so strongly to injustice, with a focus on understanding and self-compassion.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Justice sensitivity is often intensified in ADHD due to traits like emotional dysregulation and impulsivity.
• ADHDers may struggle more with perceived injustices, reacting with an emotional depth that neurotypicals might not relate to or understand. Perception matters—what feels unjust to one person may not even register to another, leading to feelings of isolation or invalidation.
• The emotional reaction can feel childlike or disproportionate, which adds a layer of internal conflict or shame.
• ADHD brains often seek fairness and may instinctively advocate for the underdog or fight against perceived wrongs, even in seemingly minor instances.
• Acknowledging this sensitivity can be empowering, helping individuals better navigate emotional responses and interpersonal dynamics.

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

In this episode Julie and Jel Legg delve into the topic of negative self-talk—those persistent, looping thoughts that can erode confidence and hold people back from trying new things. For those with ADHD, these internal narratives can be especially loud and deeply rooted, often shaped by years of misunderstanding, impulsivity, and self-doubt.

They explore how these thought patterns can quickly spiral into feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy. The conversation touches on the role of adult diagnosis in helping to reframe these thoughts, the importance of recognising unrealistic expectations, and the power of self-compassion. Together, they discuss ways to interrupt the loop of negative self-talk through mindfulness, perspective, community, and kindness.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Negative self-talk is common, and particularly intense for people with ADHD due to a mix of internal and external pressures.
• Understanding the ADHD brain brings clarity to these patterns and can open the door to self-compassion and change.
• Failure is not the same as giving up. Failing is a natural part of growth; giving up turns that failure into a permanent roadblock.
• Unrealistic expectations can sabotage joy. It’s okay to be good—not everything needs to be exceptional to be meaningful.
• Celebrate progress. Even small achievements are worth acknowledging. “Take the win” is a mindset worth adopting.
• Tools like mindfulness, reframing, and open conversations can help break the cycle of negative thinking.
• No one is alone in this. Whatever the thought or struggle, others are likely experiencing something similar—and connection can be a powerful antidote.

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie and Jel Legg explore the concept of body doubling, a common ADHD coping strategy where the presence of another person helps one complete tasks that feel overwhelming or unappealing when done alone. They clarify that body doubling isn’t teamwork—both people don’t have to be doing the same thing. Instead, it's about having someone nearby as a form of gentle accountability and moral support, which can reduce distraction and increase focus. 

They share personal anecdotes, and reflect on how many people may have been using this strategy instinctively without having a term for it, often in situations like decluttering, completing paperwork, or doing chores. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• Definition: Body doubling is when another person’s presence (not necessarily their help) makes it easier to complete a task. This can be done in person, remotely or by being in group environment with a common focus. 
• Not Teamwork: It’s not about co-working on the same job, but rather about supporting focus and reducing avoidance or procrastination. 
• Accountability Boost: Even a silent partner nearby, or a virtual presence (via video call), can create a sense of accountability. 
• ADHD-Friendly Motivation: Especially helpful for mundane or repetitive tasks that don’t naturally engage the ADHD brain. 
• Unconscious Use: Many people may already be using this technique without realising—like inviting a friend over for moral support when tackling a new project or task. 
• Emotional Comfort: Beyond productivity, body doubling offers emotional ease—it feels less lonely and reduces the intimidation of big tasks.

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg interviews Michael W. Allison—CEO of The Adversity Academy, U.S. Marine combat veteran, Purple Heart recipient, and resilience expert—about his ADHD journey and how adversity shaped his purpose.

Michael explains how he navigates life with ADHD through the lens of adversity, identity, and personal growth. From his early experiences of being misunderstood to discovering how structure, self-awareness, and purposeful systems can transform challenges into strengths, he shares powerful insights on reframing ADHD as a source of clarity, adaptability, and leadership.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• ADHD Traits: Michael reframes commonly misunderstood ADHD characteristics—such as high energy, impulsivity, hyperfocus, and rapid decision-making—as potential strengths. He notes that while these traits posed challenges in traditional academic settings and early social environments, they later became key tools in environments that value agility and decisiveness, such as the military and entrepreneurial leadership. 
• Self-Awareness: A pivotal theme in Michael’s journey is the transformation that came with increased self-awareness which has helped him challenge the idea that ADHD was purely a limitation, instead seeing it as part of a broader identity with valuable capabilities.
• Adversity:  Rather than being defined by hardship, Michael chose to use adversity as a forge—an opportunity to discover who he truly was and what he stood for. It’s not the adversity itself, he suggests, but our response to it that defines us.
• Structure – A support, not a constraint: Though naturally resistant to overly rigid systems in school, Michael came to appreciate the value of structure through his experience in the Marine Corps. The discipline, clarity, and operational frameworks of military life helped him channel his energy and focus more effectively. 
• Owning Your Story: One of Michael’s core messages is the power of embracing your story fully, your authenticity. By understanding, articulating, and reframing your lived experience, he encourages others to rewrite their internal narratives and step into leadership with confidence.

LINKS

• Michael Allison - Website
• The Adversity Academy Website
• Overcoming Adversity Book
• Michael Allison Facebook
• Michael Allison - Instagram
• Michael Allison - LinkedIn
• Michael Allison - TikTok
• Michael Allison - Twitter
• Michael Allison - Youtube

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Host Julie Legg speaks with ADHD and anxiety coach Dana Baker-Williams about the complexities of parenting neurodivergent children. Dana, who has ADHD herself, shares her personal journey and emphasizes that while traits may manifest differently in each child, there are common struggles with ADHD and parenting. 

Parents, she explains, play a crucial role in helping their children navigate these challenges, but they must also prioritize their own well-being. Self-care, even in small doses, is essential to maintaining balance in a household where emotions can run high. Ultimately, Dana’s message is one of empowerment: when parents understand and embrace their child’s unique wiring, they can approach challenges with patience, adaptability, and grace​.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Self-Care for Parents is Crucial: Parents with ADHD (or those managing ADHD in their children) must prioritize their own well-being. Parents set the tone for their household; if they are overwhelmed, their children will likely struggle too.
• Routines Reduce Anxiety: Establishing structured routines benefits both parents and children with ADHD. Predictability lowers anxiety by eliminating uncertainty.
• Externalizing Systems Helps with Memory and Organization: ADHD brains struggle with working memory and time perception. Keeping information visible prevents the “out of sight, out of mind” problem.
• Validation and Emotional Regulation: Parents should focus on validating their child’s emotions rather than immediately trying to “fix” problems. Emotional dysregulation is common in ADHD, and learning to name emotions (“name it to tame it”) can help children process their feelings.
• ADHD and Anxiety are Interconnected: Many children with ADHD also experience anxiety, often due to repeated failures or difficulty meeting expectations. Routine, sleep, exercise, and breathing techniques can help manage both ADHD and anxiety.
• Handling Defiance and Frustration: What appears as defiance in ADHD children is often frustration due to difficulty with emotional regulation. Arguing with an ADHD child in a power struggle provides a dopamine rush, reinforcing the behaviour. Instead of engaging in arguments, parents should set firm boundaries and disengage calmly.
• Every Child Needs Different Support: "Fair" does not mean treating all children the same; it means giving each child what they need. ADHD children often struggle with social cues, maintaining friendships, and understanding expectations. Parents should consider what works best for their child rather than imposing neurotypical expectations.

LINKS

• Website: https://www.parentinginreallife.org/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentinreallife/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@parentinginreallife
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/parentinginreallife/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/parentinginreallife/

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Host Julie Legg speaks with Tina Hazen, author and professional organiser, about her work helping others—especially those with ADHD—create structured, clutter-free spaces: organising the chaos.

Diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety at 38, Tina (founder of Think Inside the Boxx) emphasizes that traditional organizing methods often don’t work for individuals with ADHD, who may struggle with object permanence, decision paralysis, and maintaining systems over time. She shares her personal experiences of trial and error in organizing her own space and explains how she turned these lessons into strategies for her clients. Through her book, Life is Messy, and her professional work, Tina empowers people to design spaces that work with their ADHD brains rather than against them.

KEY TAKEAWAYS - Decluttering & Organising Tips

• Use the "Like with Like" method: Group similar items together. This helps prevent over-purchasing and ensures you know what you already have before shopping​.
• Create a "landing spot": Designate a space near the entrance for essentials like keys, bags, sunglasses, and other daily-use items. This prevents misplaced items and reduces the stress of searching for them when leaving the house​.
• Set a timer for small tasks: If an organizing task feels overwhelming, set a timer for 10-15 minutes. This allows you to focus on one small section at a time, making progress more manageable.
• Use visual storage solutions: ADHDers often struggle with object permanence (forgetting about items if they are out of sight). Using open baskets or clear storage bins can help keep items visible and prevent clutter from accumulating​.
• Start with the most stressful area Identify the space in your home that causes the most frustration (e.g., an overstuffed closet or messy kitchen). Tackling the biggest stressor first provides an immediate sense of relief and motivation to continue​.
• Body doubling for decluttering:  Having a friend or accountability partner present while organizing can help maintain focus and motivation. Even if they are not actively helping, their presence can reduce distractions and increase productivity​.

LINKS

• Think Inside the Boxx – website
• Think Inside the Boxx - Instagram
• Tina Hazen – LinkedIn
• Book by Tina Hazen - Life Is Messy
•  Think Inside the Boxx - TikTok

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie and Jel Legg explore dopamine stacking—when multiple sources of dopamine stimulation are layered on top of each other. This can create an intense, pleasurable experience but also lead to a crash afterward, leaving individuals feeling unmotivated, overstimulated, or even emotionally flat.

They discuss how ADHD brains crave dopamine, and explore how dopamine stacking manifests in different areas of life, including social interactions, work, and family environments. They chat about dopamine ‘snacking’—engaging in small, spaced-out dopamine hits, which can help maintain motivation without burnout.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Dopamine Stacking Feels Good but Has a Cost: Engaging in multiple dopamine-producing activities at once can be highly stimulating but often leads to a crash in motivation and mood afterward. People with ADHD often stack dopamine unintentionally due to dopamine deficiency and difficulty regulating pleasure and motivation.

The Crash After the High: After intense dopamine stacking, the next day or even the next few hours can feel bland, unmotivating, or overwhelming, making it hard to focus or feel engaged.

Social and Work Implications: Dopamine stacking isn't limited to personal entertainment; it can occur in social settings, leading to burnout after highly stimulating social events, or in work environments where overloading tasks can cause fatigue and mental exhaustion.

Self-Awareness is Key: Recognizing when dopamine stacking is happening allows individuals to pace themselves, spread out rewarding activities, and avoid the intense highs and lows.

Send us Fan Mail

Thanks for listening. 

📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains. 

🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz  
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
▶️ YOUTUBE: @adhdifference
🎙️ YOUR HOST: JulieLegg.nz

 ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More