Adult Harder

The Professors Smith know a thing or two about bad habits. Mostly, they know how to have them. But they've also done a very light amount of reading up on how to theoretically break them, and now they want to save you that ten minutes of Googling with a 25-minute podcast! We're about 82% sure you'll agree that it's worth it.

Skin-tight uniforms. Feathered hair. Blood, sometimes. No, it's not the seedy underbelly of jazzercise; it's professional wrestling, and it's high time you got on board! Ryan breaks down the finer points of pro wrestling, including blood, nudity, and draaaamaaaaaa! And the guys give some pretty overall decent advice on how to dip your toe in the wrestling waters by throwing a good, old-fashioned Wrestlemania party!

You know who loves pets? Literally everyone. You know who doesn't love pets? Sociopaths, which we understand does detract from our statement about everyone loving pets, but it's important to not always split hairs. This week, the Professors Smith discuss the importance of pets, and then they rank the best and worst pets ever, because they're professionals like that.

We thought we wouldn't have to worry about the robot apocalypse for at LEAST five or six more years. But between laughing Alexa, stripper-bots, and all the inexplicably ill-informed madness happening at the stupid idiot labs of Boston Dynamics, we can't put it off any longer. The robots are coming, and we need to get busy destroying 'em or get busy serving 'em. Either way, our survival is key.

In one of our timeless, instant-classic holiday episodes, we talk about the pitfalls of St. Patrick's Day, including not-awful alternatives to awful green beer and the history of Druids and Irish ghosts. It's a pretty stellar episode. Turn up your ears and learn how to celebrate St. Paddy's Day like a real grown-up adult person!

Massages are supposed to be relaxing...so why do they give us so much anxiety? This week, the Smiths take on the many discomforts of getting naked with a stranger and saying, "Put your hands all over me." They teach you how to overcome any massage-related issue, and they've got some pretty good advice about saunas, too.

We got a letter from a listener who wanted to know just how scared he should be about getting his first solo credit card. And boy, did we run with that. In this episode, we talk credit scores, smart strategies for paying down huge debt, and how to get credit card companies to pay YOU! We don't want to brag, but it's a severely adult-ish episode.

It’s cold. It is just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold. Unless you live somewhere warm, in which case, we politely invite you to just kiss right off. ‘Cause we’re cold. Just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold.

Fortunately, the Smiths have some tips on how to bear the cold weather, and they even visit the fellows from The Victor Bar in Chicago to ask about some special winter weather cocktails that can warm your subzero spirits!

The decision to become a parent is a big one. There's a lot to consider, like "Will I cause accidental and irreparable lifelong harm to the emotional state of a real human person?" The Smiths grapple with the challenges and rewards of having babies, along with the help of a very special guest, professional father and podcaster Travis McElroy!

It's hard to really appreciate Disneyland when you're a kid, and when you're a parent, it's like, ugh, now I have to go on all the baby rides with my kid, ugh. The best way to go to Disneyland is to go on your own, by your childless self! This week, the Smiths discuss their wasted youths, the much less magical theme parks that their parents dragged them to as kids, and the best ways to enjoy Disneyland like a grown-up, along with the help of best-selling author and Disneyland planning expert, Gavin Doyle!