Adulting with Harlan L. Landes and Miranda Marquit

As you get older, looking for a date becomes more and more challenging.

Once you get done with school, you’re left with your co-workers (usually a bad idea) or hitting up the bar (those beer goggles could lead you astray).

People are actually meeting their S.O.s with the help of friends and family, though. And, really, there are a surprising number of places to find someone to date — even if you think there’s a serious drought in your hometown.

We’ll get to the bottom of what it takes to get a date, no matter where you are. Let’s start scouting out those options.

Concepts

* Are setups really that bad?

* Some of the places to try when looking for a date.

* Pros and cons of different places to find dates.

* Could online dating be the solution to your dating problems?

* Why you consider saying yes more.

* Do you know why you’re looking for a date?

* How to figure out whether or not someone would make a good date.

* Does it matter if you really hit it off, as long as you are at least trying?

* Ideas for dating when you want to stay single.

* Why you can’t be TOO picky when looking for a date.

* How to let your friends know you’re looking.

Use our “Do Nows” to shake things up in your dating life. Figure out how to try something different in your approach and maybe even take a second look at someone you rejected. We’ll even talk about what to do AFTER the date. Is that date worth a second try?

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Resources

How most people meet their S.O.s

Hosted byHarlan Landes and Miranda Marquit

Produced byadulting.tv

Edited and mixed bySteve Stewart

Music bybensound.com

Once in a while, we present Adulting.tv LIVE! Stay tuned to hear about future events, and share your questions about or suggestions for our next discussions!

Is it possible to earn money AND do what you love? Even if you’re able to figure out what your passion is, do you really believe that if you pursue your passion the money will follow? Sometimes, it’s possible, but not always the same way motivational speakers lead to you believe. Pursuing your passion is important, and possible, but earning a living may be related to your passion and it may not be.

Our guest for this episode is Stefanie O’Connell. She is the author of The Broke and Beautiful Life, and is a millennial money expert. Join her free seven-day cash confidence challenge.

Listen to just the audio by using the player below.

Hosted byHarlan Landes and Miranda Marquit

Produced byadulting.tv

Edited and mixed bySteven Flato

Music bybensound.com

Think positive. You are in control of your destiny.

Self-help is a HUGE industry. But is it really helping you? Or is it actually harming you?

In reality, a lot of self-help is total BS.

Yeah, there’s a lot in life you can control — especially when it comes to being proactive vs. reactive. But you can’t fix everything with a one-size-fits-all program or by following the tripe spewed by a self-styled guru or ninja.

Let’s cut through the crap and get to what really works.

Concepts

* What is self-help, anyway?

* Benefits of positivity in your life.

* Serious problems with the self-help industry and some of the products peddled.

* Does self-help encourage you to blame yourself too much?

* Why one-size-fits-all probably doesn’t fit you.

* What are some of the ways self-help can actually harm you?

* Are you moving dangerously into cult-like behavior?

* Tips for being happy in a long-distance relationship.

* How to find self-help that isn’t bullshit.

* Realistic timetables for make changes in your life.

* How to keep improving yourself.

Our “Do Nows” this week can help you make real, lasting change in your life. We look at different exercises, including journaling and looking for a sense of purpose in your life. Don’t use self-help as a replacement for healthier activities and connections.

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Resources

Self-help books could ruin your life

How to protect yourself against bad self-help

The Five Minute Journal

Hosted byHarlan Landes and Miranda Marquit

Produced byadulting.tv

Edited and mixed bySteve Stewart

Music bybensound.com

This episode originally aired on November 26, 2015.

As a kid, the holidays are a time of fun. After all, you get presents, candy, and time off school. Holiday hijinks are a part of growing up.

Adults, though, need to learn how to change their view of the holidays. The things that were funny when you’re a kid are no longer in force. Plus no one thinks it’s fun to buy you presents anymore.

You can still enjoy the holiday season as an adult, but you do need to adjust your expectations.

Use our Do Nows to help you evaluate what you want out of the holidays, as well as learn strategies for putting together a budget-friendly gift exchange.

Concepts

* Just because we’re asked to find the child within during the holidays doesn’t mean you should act like a child.

* What are some of the holiday hijinks you should avoid as an adult?

* What are some of the things adults are expected to do during the holidays?

* How to handle gift exchanges with family and with coworkers.

* Why it’s important to determine what the holidays mean to you so you can set boundaries.

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Transcript

HARLAN – – Intro

MIRANDA – -Welcome to this week’s edition of Adulting. We’re going to talk about holiday hijinks. When is it time to stop acting like a kid for the holidays?

HARLAN – – Intro

HARLAN – – Welcome to adulating. I am Harlan Landes, and I’m here with Miranda Marquit. Hi, Miranda.

MIRANDA – Hi Harlan

HARLAN – – And today we’re talking about holiday hijinks.

Accept that you’re not a kid anymore. We all want to be a kid at heart, sure. But certain things happen around the holiday that tells us that maybe that it’s time to move on and it’s time now to be an adult. The biggest thing is, of course, gift giving.

So let’s talk about that. Miranda, do you have a story to share that moment that you first realized you’re an adult?

MIRANDA – -Or at least not a child anymore. Growing up of course as someone who celebrates Christmas, we always had that list that we could make, and even when we were beyond Santa Claus, in my family, we could still make a list. My parents said this is the budget, and then you could go ahead and move forward, and make this list. So when I came back, from college, my first semester, I said to my parents, here is my list, this is what I want for Christmas. This is my list, and it’s like one thing, and it’s expensive. I was surprised that my parents said, ‘You’re not a kid anymore, you don’t get to make a Christmas list, we’ll give you whatever we’re giving you!’

It ended up being useful things for my college experience, but it wasn’t the thing that I wanted on my list. And that was the time I realized, ‘Oh I’m not a kid anymore, and I can’t just demand things anymore,’ as children do. And that this holiday, and a lot of the holiday season: Christmas, Channukah,

This episode originally aired on December 3, 2015.

Show Notes

Too often, the holidays turn into a time of stress as we try to live up to expectations from family and friends.

While it’s preferable to avoid a holiday showdown, sometimes it can’t be avoided. In this episode, we talk about how to figure out what matters this holiday season, as well as how to set boundaries.

How much is too much this holiday season? And can you draw the line without it turning into a holiday showdown? Our Do Nows help you learn how to set healthy boundaries, as well as identify the biggest stressors that could be dragging you down.

Concepts

* Reasons the holidays can be very stressful.

* What are some of things we do to satisfy others during the holidays?

* What things are likely to result in a holiday showdown?

* How to prioritize holiday gatherings.

* Tips for setting healthy boundaries — and respecting others’ boundaries.

* Handling gifts and exchanges.

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Resources

Understanding and dealing with family relationships during the holiday season

Tips for building and preserving better boundaries

Transcript

MIRANDA-Sometimes the holidays are more stressful than maybe they should be. In this episode, we’ll take a look at some strategies you can employ to reduce your holiday stress.

HARLAN – Intro

HARLAN – Welcome to Adulting. I’m Harlan Landes, and I’m here with Miranda Marquit, as usual. How are you doing Miranda?

Miranda – I’m doing well, how are you today Harlan?

HARLAN- I am fantastic. So! Today we’re talking about satisfying your relatives during the holidays. And what it takes to survive the holiday season as an adult. So, is this a study from Stanford University?

Miranda- It isn’t exactly a study so much as it is something the assistant director of Stanford’s faculty and staff help center talks about. She talks about some of the pressures that the holidays cause, and the research shows make the holidays difficult for people – and family relationships – which is all of us, right? We all have family relationships, and one of the things that she points out is that people want to belong and feel connected during the holidays. This desire can be so strong that we overextend ourselves emotionally, physically, and financially. And then she goes on to say that examples of this include spending money to travel to be with family and loved ones even though you’re finances are limited. She talks about buying gifts that you can’t afford, attending social family functions because we feel like we HAVE to or because we feel like we should, and then also on our end, maybe preparing an elaborate perfect meal or celebration.

This episode originally aired on December 10, 2015.

Are you a cheap holiday Grinch?

As an adult, you need to realize that you have responsibilities to others. During the holidays, society expects you to give to others and tips a little extra. You don’t want to be the cheap holiday Grinch that others despise.

We take a look at giving, how to properly tip, and what it means to spread holiday cheer.

Our Do Nows help you identify who needs a tip, as well as strategies to help you enjoy the holidays without breaking the bank.

Concepts

* The realities of holiday tipping in our society.

* Who should you be tipping? And how much should you give?

* What makes you a cheap holiday Grinch?

* How to enjoy time with family and friends during the holidays without spending more than you can afford.

* Tips for writing a holiday note or card to add extra holiday cheer.

* How to maintain relationships throughout the year.

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Resources

Inexpensive and easy DIY gift ideas for the holidays.

Visit the Emily Post Institute for tipping etiquette

Hosted byHarlan Landes and Miranda Marquit

Produced byadulting.tv

Edited and mixed byHarlan Landes

Music bybensound.com

One of the best ways to build wealth for retirement is to invest.

Putting money in a retirement account now is a good way to get a good start on building a nest egg that leads to financial independence later.

But what if you have debt?

Can you invest when you have debt and feel broke AF? Does it make sense to pay off your debt before you begin investing?

This week, we talk about the considerations that come when trying to decide whether or not to start investing when you still have debt.

Concepts

* The importance of investing.

* Ways debt can slow you down.

* Are you really ready to invest?

* Can you balance paying down debt with investing?

* Have you taken care of other areas of your finances, like an emergency fund?

* Tips for making investing more effective.

* How to decide if it makes sense to invest instead of pay down debt early.

* Different types of debt and which you should tackle first.

* The importance of being able to sleep at night.

Don’t forget to listen to our “Do Nows” this week. We’ll take a look at how to create a debt payoff plan, open an investment account, and assess how much you need to start saving today to hit your retirement goals.

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Hosted byHarlan Landes and Miranda Marquit

Produced byadulting.tv

Edited and mixed bySteve Stewart

Music bybensound.com

At some point, there’s a chance that you’ll end up facing job loss.

Whether you are laid off, or whether you are fired, this can be a very challenging time. You have to worry about your finances, figure out what’s next, and hope that your job loss doesn’t negatively impact your search for a new job.

Being fired is a more serious situation than being laid off, unfortunately. The implication is that you did something very wrong — even if you feel like you didn’t deserve to be fired.

If you are facing job loss, this episode can help you figure out how to get back on your feet.

Concepts

* The difference between being fired and being laid off.

* How to find out why you were fired.

* Illegal reasons for your job loss.

* Do you qualify for unemployment benefits?

* Tips for handling the situation when you are fired.

* How to review your finances in the face of a job loss.

* Tips for reaching out to your network to find a new job.

* How to respond when you are being discriminated against or harassed.

This week’s “do-nows” focus on what you can take care of now — ahead of a job loss. Be on the lookout for discrimination, and always have your resume updated, just in case you are suddenly fired.

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Resources

Illegal reasons for firing employees

10 things to do after being fired

Hosted byHarlan Landes and Miranda Marquit

Produced byadulting.tv

Edited and mixed bySteve Stewart

Music bybensound.com

Once in a while, we present Adulting.tv LIVE! Stay tuned to hear about future events, and share your questions about or suggestions for our next discussions!

Disclosure: Adulting.tv may be compensated if you

take action after visiting certain links in this article at no cost to you. We stand by our editorial integrity and would not be linking to or discussing this topic if we didn’t believe it was in the best

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What are the essential items you need to set up your first kitchen? If you’re on your own for the first time, this live podcast episode is essential for making the most of your money and creating a space that comfortable for cooking and gives you the opportunity to be successful in the kitchen.

Regardless of your cooking philosophy, Erin Chase will guide you through making the best decisions for stocking your first kitchen.

Erin is the founder of $5 Dinners, $5 Meal Plan, Grocery Budget Makeover, and MyFreezEasy.

Listen to just the audio by using the player below.

Hosted byHarlan Landes and Miranda Marquit

Produced byadulting.tv

Edited and mixed bySteven Flato

Music bybensound.com

Does distance really make the heart grow fonder?

Or does it just ruin things in the long run?

Interestingly, there is some evidence that long-distance relationships can work — and thrive. But that doesn’t mean they’re easy. Long-distance love has its own unique challenges. If you can overcome those challenges, your relationship might actually be healthier.

Concepts

* What is a long distance relationship? Is it just about mileage, or is it also about time?

* The impact of quality time spent vs. just being together.

* Are you underestimating the importance of meeting your physical needs in the relationship?

* How does distance impact your emotional connection and well-being?

* Confronting the reality of jealousy in long-distance relationships.

* Advantages of long-distance relationships.

* How can you turn this long-distance love into a way for you to become a stronger person?

* Tips for being happy in a long-distance relationship.

* The idea that a long-distance relationship can be a way to commit without REALLY having to commit

* How to establish ground rules in long-distance relationships.

* Is being over-connected actually bad for your relationship?

This week’s “do-nows” offer some ideas for keeping the flame alive with your long-distance love. Figure out what matters to you in the relationship, and make choices based on what is likely to work best for you.

Become a Friend of Adulting

To get Adulting delivered directly to your device, subscribe using Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or your app of choice.

Join the Friends of Adulting! Please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. We would really appreciate the feedback!

Resources

Love and work on a timetable

Starting a long-distance relationship

Could long-distance relationships be healthy?

Long-distance relationships can work

How Skype is sabotaging your long distance relationship

Hosted byHarlan Landes and Miranda Marquit

Produced byadulting.tv

Edited and mixed bySteve Stewart

Music bybensound.com