Adulting with Harlan L. Landes and Miranda Marquit

Some people just like to have drama in their lives. A little excitement can be good, but not if it harms your relationships and causes you turmoil. First, don’t be the drama queen in other people’s lives. Then, try to avoid drama coming from other people.

If you find yourself in the midst of drama frequently, find out why. Look for the cause, whether it’s you or the people you spend time with. Drama and pettiness can happen and destroy lives at work, at home, or with any type of relationship.

Listen to the episode for our ideas for things you can do right now to eliminate the unnecessary drama for your life and feel happier. This is the key to fulfilling relationships at home and at your job.

Concepts

* How misunderstandings and miscommunication lead to drama.

* What is drama, and what does it mean to be petty?

* How to react to bad situations avoid causing drama.

* Maintaining a high social standard.

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Resources

The hidden brain: How miscommunications happen

Stop to drama queen cycle

Tired of office drama?

Every week, we present Adulting.tv LIVE! on Blab. Subscribe and join us for the next event, and share your questions about or suggestions for future discussions!

Adulting.tv LIVE! welcomes special guest Matt Schulz from CreditCards.com to talk about how to choose your first credit card. Miranda, Harlan, and Matt explore why someone might want to apply for a credit card, what is needed before applying for a credit card, what types of credit cards are available, and what to expect once you have a credit card.

Credit cards aren’t for everyone, but if you think you’re ready to handle your spending responsibly or you’re a seasoned credit card user, watch the replay.

Watch the video above, or listen to just the audio by using the player below.

We have reached a scary point in political discourse: repeating something loudly makes it true.

Unfortunately, just asserting something at a high volume over and over again doesn’t actually make you right. And it’s certainly not civilized discourse.

Our society and form of government rely on an educated populace whose members recognize that compromise is important. It’s also important to engage in the system and use civility when discussing different viewpoints.

Right now, we are becoming increasingly divisive, and forgetting that we’re all in this together. We might have differing ideas of how to move forward, but that doesn’t mean that we need to be enemies. The all-or-nothing approach that has been taking over politics, not to mention the demonizing of anyone who disagrees, is a plague to our system.

It’s good to share your opinion. But it doesn’t mean you have to be rude about it.

Concepts

* Why are political discussions so fraught?

* How social media makes it easier to share your opinion.

* Why we are becoming less aware of others’ thoughts and ideas, even with the wealth of information at our fingertips.

* Tips for learning to understand another person’s viewpoint.

* How to stop seeing someone who disagrees as “stupid” or the enemy.

* How to share your opinion politely.

* Why local politics are so important and how you can get involved.

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Resources

Why people don’t respond to facts.

The decline of civility in America.

How we cherry-pick information.

One of the toughest things to do is to learn which things to say no to — and which to say yes to. It’s tempting to want to do all the things. However, chances are that you say yes to more than you should.

When you are bogged down by obligations, you reach the point where you need to say no, for your own sanity. Unfortunately, when you try to hard to do all the things, you might end up in a situation where you can’t say yes to the opportunities you really want.

In order to avoid becoming overcome by all you need to do, it’s important to understand what really matters to you. Narrow it down. Focus on the essentials, and then expand from there, only saying yes to the things that you really want to do. And if you need help figuring out what’s most important, create a life map.

Concepts

* Why are we so inclined to say yes? Why do we want to do all the things?

* Reasons that it’s sometimes a good idea to say no.

* How to position yourself so you can take advantage of unexpected (and good!) opportunities.

* Tips for balancing others’ needs with your own needs.

* The reality of “busy-ness.” Just because you’re busy doesn’t mean you are accomplishing anything.

* How to identify the true essentials in your life so that you are more effective.

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Resources

When and how graduate students should say no.

Stress management: when to say no.

To boost your potential, say yes.

When making relationship goals, few of us decide we want to be with toxic people. However, there are times that we just sort of end up in these situations.

If you feel like your relationship is bringing you down — and it doesn’t have to just be a romantic relationship — you can get out of it.

As you look at your relationship goals, re-evaluate where you stand and how others influence your life. It might be time to ditch the toxic people in your life. It might even be time for you to realize that you have some of your own toxic behaviors that you should work on.

Listen for our ideas on what you can do now to change toxic behaviors or exit a relationship without making things much worse.

Concepts

* Hallmarks of a toxic relationship.

* The difference between toxic behaviors and abuse.

* The health impacts that being in a toxic relationship can have.

* Tips for setting relationship goals with your partner to improve everyone’s behavior.

* How to identify your own toxic behaviors and fix them.

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Resources

Overcoming toxic relationships

Toxic relationships and poor health

Signs of a toxic relationship

Many Millennials are putting off traditional life milestones like marriage, buying a home, and starting a family. Many Millennials have subscribed to the “you only live once” – YOLO.

Travel is a big deal for many young adults who want to experience life before responsibilities and age weigh them down. But do you risk running out of money later?

You don’t have to give up experiences now. Plan ahead, and take steps to be responsible with your finances, and you can YOLO now, and still achieve financial freedom later.

Be sure to listen to our suggestion for things you can do right now to set yourself up for success in the future, even while you YOLO today, like creating a life map and investing.

Concepts

* Do you really need to hit the “traditional” life milestones in “proper” order to be an adult?

* Why now is a good time to YOLO.

* You don’t have to travel abroad to YOLO. There are plenty of ways to seize the day without leaving the country.

* How to be smart with your money, even while you have a good time.

* Tips for laying a solid foundation so that your YOLO adventures don’t lead to financial ruin.

Video Clips

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Resources

How millennials are changing travel

Should you buy or rent? You’ve heard about the importance of homebuying as a life and money milestone. But do you really need to buy a home to be an adult?

We wade into the homebuying debate — on the side of renting. Miranda has actually owned a home, and never wants to again. Harlan has never bought, and he’s not sure he wants to deal with a mortgage and all the expenses that go into owning a house.

Miranda and Harlan tackle the homebuying debate and look at why it seems like such a big deal, and talk about how you can rent forever and STILL be an adult.

Concepts

* There seems to be a lot of handwringing over millennials and their low rates of homeownership. Why are millennials reluctant to take the plunge?

* Why does society place such an emphasis on homebuying?

* What are the main points of the homebuying debate?

* Tips for deciding whether it makes more sense for you to buy or rent.

* Reasons that renting can be a good lifestyle choice.

* The difference between buying property as an investment and buying a primary residence.

Where do you stand in the homebuying debate? So you think buying is preferable to renting? Or do you think it makes more sense to be an eternal renter once you move out of your parents’ house?

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Resources

Why millennials avoid buying homes

Buy vs. Rent calculator

Check your credit report

After losing weight, the #2 New Year’s resolution in 2015 to get organized. There’s a very good chance that the numbers are similar for this year. After all, who doesn’t want to feel like they have a handle on life. Organization tends to help you feel like you are ready to face the world. Or at least tackle the day.

Concepts

* Learn about the health benefits that come when you get organized.

* Could you improve your relationships by being better organized?

* Tips for avoiding over-scheduling and over-promising.

* Tools that can help you get organized — and stay that way.

Some of the organization apps mentioned in this episode include Evernote, Trello, Asana, and Remember the Milk.

Video Clips

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Resources

New Years resolution stats

Health benefits of organization

Technology is great when you want to connect with others — but it can also be an addictive distraction.

The truth is that we are wired to connect with people, and constantly playing games on our phones or using social media can actually make us feel worse. Plus, you think you’re multi-tasking, but you’re really not.

Concepts

* Why is it so tempting to use your phone or other devices all the time?

* Is overuse of technology impacting your emotional health?

* Could your relationships improve when you put down your phone?

* Tips for making real connections with people, rather than relying on the phone.

Show the people in your life that they really matter. Learn to connect, and put down the phone. Read Harlan’s article on developing relationships with your loved ones, rather than disconnecting with the help of devices.

Listen to the podcast for specific things you can do right now to end your mobile device distraction.

Video Clips

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Resources

Images of people without phones

The myth of multitasking

We are wired to connect to others

Social connection = happiness

Is tech making kids moody?

The joy of missing out

Do you have trouble relaxing?

It’s not always easy to relax — especially since the harder you try, the worse it is.

It’s important to find time to relax, but most busy people often find it difficult. We’ve got some tips for you. When you are unable or unwilling to relax, your stress levels can negatively impact your physical and mental health, your mood, and your relationships.

Slow down. Breathe deep. RELAX!

Concepts

* Why is it so important to learn how to relax?

* What makes relaxing so difficult in today’s world?

* Can your health really be impacted by stress?

* Is “multitasking” making it more difficult for you to relax?

* How to begin relaxing on your own.

You don’t have to be productive all the time. Take the time today to start spending a little time doing something enjoyable and relaxing. From breathing techniques to teach you calm, to taking the time for self-care, here’s what you need to know if you want to relax.

Video Clips

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Resources

What causes stress in people’s lives?

How multitasking is bad for your brain

How relaxation makes you more productive

How breathing can help you

Step-by-step breathing exercises