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This week’s chaos is brought to you by slicked-back ponies, too many shopping bags, and way too much trust in Type A Cort. 💁🏼‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

We kicked things off with Cort running a full-blown hair experiment on Des (spoiler: she passed the BFF test with flying colors), and Des has officially coined our new favorite phrase: “That’s little ponytail behavior.” It’s iconic, it’s petty, and it’s our new personality trait. 🤌😂

Cort also revealed her latest TikTok hyper-fixation — a party trick that involves fruit, brute strength, and maybe a little too much wine. 🍎👀 No spoilers, but let’s just say…she’s basically training for Fight Club. Speaking of, Des’s husband has officially pitched Fight Club: Family Edition and already knows exactly who he wants to fight first. (Yes, we’re still processing that.) 🥊🤣

Meanwhile, we took an 11-hour shopping trip that left us wondering:
🛍 What even is our jean size anymore?
🍷 Why did we black out halfway through Abercrombie?
🤣 Who were those women cackling in the dressing rooms (oh wait, it was us)?

And because we like to live on the edge, we’re gearing up for our Dallas trip where Des goes full Type B traveler and lets Cort run the show. That’s not just friendship — that’s trust. 🙌✈️

As usual, there were laughs, drinks, rambling, and enough inside jokes to last a lifetime. Basically, it’s the podcast equivalent of that chaotic group chat you never want to leave. 🫶

🎙️ #thatslittleponytailbehavior #bestiepodcast #slickbackponyvibes #bffenergy #girlstripprep #11hourshoppinghaul #fightclubbutmakeitfamily #dallasherewecome

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This week, Cort passes the mic to her daughter Adrianna who’s smack in the middle of a quarter-life crisis and not afraid to roast her mom. 👩‍👧 From ditching cosmetology ✂️ to making a big pivot into nursing 💉, Adrianna proves life detours can be hilarious, messy, and absolutely worth it.

But the real fun? She’s spilling childhood stories 👧, talking lying to Des when she babysat 👶, and roasting Cort for flooding her inbox with ‘warning/be careful” TikToks like it’s her actual career. 📲😂 It’s raw honesty, family chaos, and the kind of mom-daughter banter that’ll make you feel like you’re sitting right in the living room with us.

✨ Listen if you’ve ever had a quarter-life meltdown, changed your path, or just been personally victimized by your mom’s anxiety.

Basically, it’s Adrianna in her unfiltered glory, and you don’t want to miss it.

#quarterlifecrisis #momdaughterbanter #familychaos #podcastfunny #adventuresofdesandcort #femalepodcast

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Welcome to Kegels, Convicts & Cash, the episode where Des and Cort prove that literally nothing is off-limits. We start with prison pen pals (because our algorithms think we need one) then slide right into the world of Kegel games with their very own app (yes, there’s an app for that 💪🍑). Somewhere between clenching and cringing, we bury our heads in the sand about life’s simplest tasks, only to pop back up dreaming about what we’d do if we hit the lottery. Spoiler: it’s not practical.

But wait…there’s more! We spiral into the new Netflix doc Unknown Number (the kind of binge that makes you rethink every late-night text), share the funniest WiFi network names we’ve spotted (CatLadyFarts, we see you 👀💨), and of course, give way too much airtime to the infamous humping saddle.

Basically, it’s chaos, comedy, and clenching all rolled into one episode. 🎙️✨

#kegelsconvictsandcash #podcastcomedy #chaosandclenching #bestfriendpodcast #prisonpenpals #netflixunknownnumber #funnywifi #humpingsaddle #lotterydreaming #adventuresofdesandcort

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We’ve all heard it before 🙄 the side comments, the judgment, the “you’re just taking the easy way out.” This week, we’re setting the record straight. 💥

✨ Hot Flashes of the Week:

– People who text demanding things with zero greeting… rude. 😒📱
– Our smartwatches owning our souls. If it doesn’t get tracked, did it even happen? 🕒🏃‍♀️⌚

💉 Then we dive into something real: our year on Tirzepatide. No shame. No stigma. Just the truth about how good we feel, how much life has changed, and why no one should feel guilty for doing what works for them. 🙌🔥

We’re calling out the myths, shutting down the haters, and sharing the messy, honest, empowering side of it all. 💪💃

🎧 Tune in, because you know they’ll say, “You’ll Gain It All Back!” and we’re here to prove them wrong. 😉

#tirzepatide #honestconversations #spicyandtrue #wellnesswithoutshame #glp1 #adventuresofdesandcort #femalepodcasters

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⛳️ From serious golf tourneys to serious meltdowns about spouses and rule-sticklers, we’re spilling it all this week. Turns out trying new things is terrifying… until it’s not and then it’s the best time ever. 💃✨

📱 We also call ourselves out (ruthlessly) for doom-scrolling like it’s a full-time job and make a pact to put the damn phones down. Balance, babes.

💤 Des even had a dream so real it almost broke up our friendship…but don’t worry, we’re still here, ranting, laughing, and calling each other out like the rudest bitches we know.

🎙️ Chaos, honesty, and a little self-dragging. Just another day on the pod.

#podcastbesties #funnywomen #golfgirlies #dooomscrolling #chaospodcast #rudestbitch #adventuresofdesandcort 

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This week, we accidentally audition for a true crime podcast.
It starts with Des trying to sell her car and ends with a total stranger taking it solo for a “test drive”  which apparently included picking up her kid from daycare, running errands, and leaving us stranded for an hour.

In between plotting how to file a police report without sounding like idiots, we cover:
💩 shitty customer service
😳 why we get instantly awkward when anyone is nice to us
🌞 unsolicited melasma talk
📱 embarrassing texts we wish we could un-send
🌀 the fine art of being delightfully weird

Basically, it’s chaos, skincare, and a little light grand larceny — you know, a typical Thursday with us.

#adventuresofdesandcort #grandtheftauto #podcastcomedy #shittycustomerservice #melasma #embarrassingtexts #testdrive #chaosqueens #funnywomen #comedyduo

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Don’t let the title fool you, this episode is anything but a bore. Unless you’re our IT department, in which case… please call us back. Again. For the third time. 😤💻

This week, we’re serving up proud mom vibes and chaotic ramblings, per usual:

👩‍👧‍👦 Our kids are out here thriving and making us emotional! One started her dream job at a salon right next to our office (so we’ll be stalking her daily), another is flying the nest and moving out on her own (random drop by, here we come), and one is off for his second year of college (please call home). We’re bursting with pride and pretending not to cry.

📞 Meanwhile, we’ve entered another episode of IT Support Theatre, where nothing is ever resolved and you're always transferred to someone “who can better assist you”... who then sends you back to the original person.

🌀 In true Bestie fashion, we also spiral into some very important discussions like:

• Is there a correct spot to put a dirty dish if the dishwasher is full?
• The harmonica is a tad harder to learn than expected?
• Why is golf so good one day and shit the next (and we keep putting ourselves through it)?

So, grab your AirPods, hide from your family for 37 minutes, and enjoy the weekly ride that is Snooze Fest — which is only boring in name, not in vibe.

#snoozefestbutmakeitfun
#mompride
#itsupportneverworks
#podcastchaos
#funnyfemalehosts
#bestfriendbanter
#adventuresofdesandcort

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We may not be honor students, but we are women of wisdom, wine, and wildly off-topic rambles. 💃🏼🍷

This week, your favorite harlots got a little harmonious about the things we didn’t care enough about in school and the adult-ed classes we deserve now. Think: zero tests, zero grades, and absolutely no homework. Just learning, laughing, and sipping a cab sav while discussing the French Revolution and how to set boundaries.

Here’s what’s inside the episode:

🧠 Sip & Learn: Cort’s brother-in-law hit her with a surprise history quiz and she flopped HARD. So naturally, she phoned a friend (aka Des) and turned the whole thing into a podcast segment. Turns out, Des was hiding some brainy brilliance. Nerd alert.

📚 TikTok University: Cort’s algorithm has convinced her to start a new hobby. Des tries to guess what it is, and let’s just say it’s very Cort. Get ready for a new talent reveal soon(ish).

🎤 Des in Donnelly: A weekend getaway filled with singing, dancing, karaoke…aka Des’s actual nightmare. She spectated like a champ while the rest of the family went full Broadway. Meanwhile, her mother-in-law crushed it at ping pong like she’s training for the Olympics.

👶🏼 Big Baby Energy: Des’s fam welcomed a 10.2 lb baby niece, and we’re obsessed. All the cheeks. All the squish. A princess from day one.

And as always, the episode is sprinkled with unhinged detours, deep thoughts, and a dash of wisdom from your two favorite podcast aunties.

#sipandlearn
#adventuresofdesandcort
#funnyfemalehosts
#femalepodcast
#notyouraverageclassroom

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We’re not bad friends, we’re efficient friends. The show-up-when-it-matters, no-fluff, no daily check-ins or long mushy texts, but we’ll absolutely show up when it counts. Need a ride? We’re there. Need a hype woman? Done. Need to emotionally unpack? Don’t do it too often.

This week’s lineup of hot chaos includes:

🚗 Cort’s Peaceful Era (Unless She’s Driving): She’s evolved into a calm, grounded woman… unless you’re going under the speed limit. Then it’s full “GET OUT OF THE LEFT LANE” energy.

🗣️ Des’s Sunday Soap Opera: Just a casual Sunday until a guy jumps out of a truck yelling “F you, John!” to his buddy in the driver’s seat. Instant drama. Was it a fight? A breakup? We may never know.

📍 Des vs. The Neighbor (Again): She found the pin that marks the property line (yay!). But she’s still mad at her passive-aggressive pen pal next door.

🚱 Cort’s Well Is Unwell: Broken. Again. No water. For the third time in 10 months. She will be unwell if this happens again.

🕒 Treasure Valley Time Warp: Born and raised here, so in our minds? Everything’s 45 minutes away. Boise to Mountain Home? 45. Boise to Nampa, Eagle, Caldwell? Also 45. Totally inaccurate and causing us to be late.

And as always, other slightly unhinged ramblings, friendship banter, and moments that’ll make you laugh-snort in public. You’ve been warned.

#adventuresofdesandcort #dadfriendenergy #passiveaggressiveneighbors
#cortswellishell #fyoujohn #45minutesforeverything #funnyfemalehosts

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When life gives you lemons and a leaky floaty… complain just loud enough and your very own Uncle Alan might show up with a Crown Royal bag full of change and a firm “Go buy the damn thing.”

This week’s episode is a chaotic cocktail of:

🔥 Hot Flashes:
– Dogs puking like it’s their job
– AI-generated texts that sound like a robot wrote them mid-panic attack
– People who clearly didn’t proofread before hitting send (we’re judging, kindly)

🧠 Then we spiral into memory loss. Not the “where are my keys” kind, but the kind where you realize big chunks of your life feel like deleted scenes. Anxiety? Disassociation? Too many years living on edge? Probably. But hey, at least our kids will have a TikTok trail of theirs.

🎥 We also chat about the Bryan Koberger case, the new Prime documentary, and the lifted gag order. Spoiler alert: we’re watching with popcorn and opinions.

And of course, the real MVP of the episode: Uncle Alan, who heard Cort’s floaty meltdown and responded like any true legend would… with sarcasm, spare change, and just the right amount of tough love. 💸

Tune in for laughs, light existential dread and the beauty of being sponsored by sass and a bag full of change.

#sponsoredbyunclealan #funnyfemalehosts #tipsytankjourney #floatysponsored
#whiningworks

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