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This week, we’re diving into Hot Girl Water Walks because who wouldn’t want to spend their days power-walking through the pool, gossiping, and wrapping it all up with a 9 PM bedtime? Cort just got back from living her best retired life in AZ, staying with her Tia in a community that has figured it out…sunrises, golf, cocktails, and concerts where nobody stands up. Who needs rowdy when you have rhythm (while seated, of course)?  

Meanwhile, Des had to take a side chick to an event because Cort ditched her for the good life. We also discuss the new way to reference exes, should we be calling them “great ex” or even “great great ex”? (Because honestly, some of them belong in history books.)  

Plus, Des’s daughter has inherited her intolerance for excessive noise, and we unpack whether this is a personality trait or a warning sign of future HOA leadership.  

Throw in some random chaos, and you've got another episode of nonsense you didn’t know you needed. Grab a drink (or a fiber supplement), and let’s go!  

#hotgirlwaterwalks #retiredbutnot #bingobabes #greatgreatex #caneyounot  

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This week, Des and Cort revel in their Valentine's Day Luxury aka letting their husbands cook while they sat back sipping cocktails like queens. They tackle the age-old debate: do you sleep with your bedroom door open or closed? (Spoiler: One of them is clearly wrong.) Cort shares a high school nightmare where she is lost in the hallways, desperate to find class and not be late.  Why are we still having nightmares about high school at 42? Des deals with Zeek, the neighborhood cat who refuses to respect property lines. And finally, Josh takes a fall but his ego hit the ground harder than his backside. Tune in for laughs, weird dreams, and more questionable life choices!

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You know those people who think their way is the way? Yeah, we’re calling them out. Whether it’s what time you work out, where you work from, or how you live your life—who cares? Still sweating, still making money, still thriving. Let people live.  

We also get into how people assume we’re the same person, like a two-for-one deal, (besties for the restie) in reality, we’re just that in sync. And honestly? We love it. The people who truly know us understand that we each bring our own magic, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.  

Then we get into the Super Bowl commercials, because wow. Martha Stewart and AI? Kinda iconic. The Coffee Mate commercial? We’re still confused. Plus, the song lyrics we’ve been butchering for years (sorry, but our versions are better).  

And since it’s Galentine’s Day, we threw in some fun questions.  

Come laugh with us, and remember…your algorithm is a window into your soul. Ours? Pure chaos. 😂  

🎧 Listen now! 

#DontYuckSomeoneElsesYum #SuperBowlLaughs #GalentinesVibes

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🚗 Two C*nts in a Car 🚗 is here, and we’re taking you on a ride through pure chaos. 🎢  

We’re covering all the important things in life:  
😤 Sounds that enrage us when we’re hormonal (why is breathing so loud?!)  
🐈 Des’s unwanted feline squatter (the neighbors swear it’s not theirs)  
🛻 Winter finally arriving—except it’s just mud everywhere  
📸 Why every photo shoot makes us look like we just got engaged  

Then, we debate Buy Nothing 2025—we could do it… but should we? 👀 Also, WTF are ugly feet sandals(yes, it’s exactly what you think and worse), Cort found $2,700 hidden in her closet clean out (it’s not there any more) 🤑, and we deep-dive into weird dreams, the word cockwomble, and some exciting things coming soon. 👀  

Oh, and we may be debuting Two C*nts in a Car as a new IG series… should we?? 🚙😂 

Buckle up & press play! 🎙️✨

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This episode starts with a literal bang! Our neighbor shot off a blank in his office, and we heard everything. Nothing like a little unplanned adrenaline rush to kick things off. 😳🔫  

Our Hot Flashes this week?  
- Doing business with friends & family (aka, do we really want to lose this relationship over business)  
- Hormones making us feel like we have the IQ of a potato because we cannot find our words. 🫠  

Then, we break down our getting-ready styles: Des treats it like a marathon (with snack breaks), while Cort is locked in until every lash is in place. We got ready together for an event, and honestly? It was nostalgic AF…music, makeup, and giggling like it was 1999. 🪩✨  

Speaking of fun, Babes & Bingo in Boise was a scene. The Drag Queens turned it OUT…heels, hair, comedy, choreography. We could never. 🙌🏼 But as much as we love a good time, we’ve accepted that we want to be 42 fun, not 22 fun. Fun with a curfew. Fun, but home by 10. Fun, but in bed with our heating pads.  

And finally (because the internet never disappoints) we had to talk about the girl who got her entire head bit by a sturgeon. Like… HOW?! This is why we stay on land. 🐟🚫  

It’s chaotic, it’s hilarious, it’s a little concerning, but that’s just another week in our world. Buckle up & listen in! 🎧 

#adventuresofdesandcort #femalepodcasters #podcastlaughs #dragqueenmagic #42funnot22fun #hormonesareliars #shootinblanks

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This week, we’re diving headfirst into the chaos of the inauguration—Bush’s funny face included (someone get that man a comedy special). We also had a few Hot Flashes that got us heated: kids vandalizing like wannabe graffiti artists, people ignoring No Parking signs like they’re suggestions, and noise pollution that made us consider throwing our own neighborhood rave just to see how they like it.  

Then, we vented about the universal truth of event prep: women need a full-on production team just to show up. Shaving, tanning, nails, hair, shoes, makeup…basically a checklist longer than the event itself. Meanwhile, men just hop in the shower, slap on deodorant, and call it good. Must be nice, right? 🙄  

Oh, and we need your help! We’ve got a couple of dress options for an upcoming event, and we’re putting the vote to Instagram. Head over to our stories and help us pick, because clearly we can’t make decisions under this kind of pressure.  

Tune in for laughs, relatable rants, and the usual unfiltered shenanigans! 🎤✨  

#podcastlaughs #inaugurationfun #eventprepstruggles #spittinnails

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Fun Bags 🎉🥂:  

Once upon a time, we were the queens of chaos—pool-hopping at 3 a.m., closing down strip clubs, and Des pulling epic Irish goodbyes at the bar. Now? Two drinks, a gallon of water, and a full dinner later, we wake up feeling like we got hit by a bus. 🥴  

This week, we’re spilling the tea on trying to be fun again in 2025. We recount our wild past (RIP to Wine Wednesdays that didn’t end until Thursday and Cort running home like a “Survivor” contestant being chased🏃‍♀️💨) and how our current version of "fun" includes helping our kids find the mixer that’s right in front of their faces. 🥲  

It’s time to reclaim our fun—just in a way that lets us be in bed by 11. Tune in for the laughs, the nostalgia, and our game plan to sparkle in the new year! ✨  

#MomLife #ThrowbackFun #PodcastLaughs #FindingOurSpark

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This week, we’re tackling the chaos of air travel—why do some people think airline rules are just polite suggestions? And who gave the loudest person on the flight the mic to narrate their life story? 🎤🙉  

We dive into the rocky start of 2025 with the bombings and fires in California. We are over people who think that because they have money it makes them immune to disaster or human feelings. 🌍🔥 To stay sane, we’re thinking about taking a social media detox—but knowing us, it’ll last about three days.  

Cort shares how she can relate to Aaron Rodgers after watching his Netflix documentary—deep thinker, perfectionist, and all-around ayahuasca adventurer. 🌿 Would we try it? Or would we end up trippin’ into some serious regret?  

Des also chats about sweaty nights thanks to perimenopause (turn the thermostat down, people!) We also touch on how we’re working on being less awkward in convos. Spoiler: it’s not going great. Oh, and did we mention we forgot to hit record for the first 30 minutes of this episode? Classic us.  

Grab your headphones and laugh along—this one’s a trip (literally and figuratively)! 🎙️

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The week between Christmas and New Year’s: a vortex of snacks, naps, and asking what day it is. We dive into the black hole week phenomenon, share our delightfully low-key Christmas stories, and discuss the very relatable struggle of realizing pullout couches are the enemy of 40-something backs. 🛋️💀  

Des reveals her plans for an Arizona getaway 🌵☀️, we talk about testing the limits of our skin with a harsh chemical peel (new year, new face?), and giggle way too much about the movie Nightbitch—let’s just say it was… odd. 👀 🐕🎥  

It’s a laugh-out-loud catch-up filled with relatable chaos, comfy vibes, and questionable decisions. Tune in and start your New Year with a giggle. 🎙️✨

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This week, we’re joined by Cort’s son, Izaak, for a hilariously candid episode full of college tales, childhood memories, and one VERY specific story involving a guy (possibly on drugs) yelling for Izaak to help him "handle business." Spoiler: glasses are apparently a beacon for street justice. 😳👀  

Izaak shares what he's learned since moving away, dishes out some unfiltered truths about college life, and even blesses us with his Trump impression (it’s *huge*). 🏫🎤 Along the way, we reminisce about his younger years, where the stories are equal parts sweet and funny.  

Get ready for laughs, life lessons, and a reminder that wearing glasses might just make you a target for random public requests.  

🎙️ Tune in now—you don’t want to miss this!

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