Adventurific

It seemed so simple at the start.

Travel through Hell, avoid the legion of the damned as they attempt to trade a pound of your flesh for a one way trip to Salvation, and infiltrate the Citadel; ground zero for all the pain and suffering that Hell can provide!

Who could have guessed it would have turned into a David Lynch nightmare maze?

Well, if you paid attention to Josh at all, you probably could have guessed.

Welcome to the finale of our Adventurific Halloween 2021 Special, and don't worry my dear demented listener, there are plenty of blood and guts left to spill!

Join us as the Hunters dive deep into the bowels of the Citadel in search of the Pit, a magical pool of pure Hell magic, and the only way to stop Nina, the demon who put them in this mess in the first place!

And as they travel deeper into the fire, they might find the heat gets too hot for some members to handle...

So, decide what your soul is worth and remember to aim for the head, because on this Adventurific Finale, the bang we go out on will rock the afterlife for eons to come.

I know you might be scared after Part One, so I thought I'd open this description with a joke...

Things sure are heating up on the Second Part of our 2021 Halloween Special!

Get it?

On account of all the burning flesh?

You're welcome.

Welcome to the Second Part of the Adventurific Halloween 2021 Special where things are just beginning to get SPOOKY!

Join our Heroes as they attempt to come to grips with their new lives of eternal damnation, oceans of fire, and a city of tortured souls, however, when a familiar face from the past devises a plan to escape this plane of endless suffering, they must gather what remains of their strength and head deep into the metropolis that houses the worst that Hell can produce.

It may just seem like a simple walk, but Hell has a way of making simple things a lot more... painful.

So open your first portal and serve up your favorite maggot because on the Second Part of the Adventurific Halloween 2021 Special, try to stay in one piece, or at least, bring some extra tape and staples!

Can you feel that, my dear listener?

That odd feeling in the air, where the once dead and buried, soon stir in the shallow grave they rest in?

Just waiting for the opportunity to drag their disintegrating corpse out of the abyss and bring terror to those still living?

Yeah, that’s right boys and ghouls, The Adventurific Podcast has returned! At least for the spooky season…

Join us this week as we kick off our 2021 Halloween special with another Monster of the Week adventure ran by the most terrifying, most despicable, most haunting to listen to: Josh!

This year, the returning group of Hunters travel deep into the bayous of Louisiana to attend a fancy dinner party at a mysterious hotel no one has ever heard of, hosted by Hell itself! And while that sounds scary enough, just you wait to see what the Legion of the Damned have in store for the after-dinner entertainment!

Trust me, no one will be the same after that final dinner bell has rung!

So, dress to the nines and remember to ask if the incidentals are free or not, because on Part One of this year’s Halloween Special, it’s all fun and trains until someone gets damned!

There’s an old saying; “The softest voice in the darkness has often got the sharpest sword”.

I don’t know who said it but whoever it was, I bet they have quite a lot of experience with homicidal teenagers who been given ultimate knowledge and the most technologically advanced train this side of Niagara Falls!

And things only get darker from here on this week’s Adventurific as the Monster Hunters gather up what is left of their strength and face off against Unstable Daughter of the late Doctor Cerf as she literally bends space and time to her whim in order to kill off the last of her opposition and brings humanity to its knees! Will the Hunters be able to stop a threat that has no limits, no boundaries and most importantly, no head to shoot?!

See, I knew if you stuck with all of Josh’s shenanigans, this would all pay off! And to those of you who say that most of this still does not make any sense, well, all I can retort with is a desperate “Shut up” and “Please stop” followed promptly by a soft weeping…

So, hide away all those deep dark secrets and make sure to keep the afterlife in mind because on this spine tingling, reality bending conclusion to our Spring Special, I don’t care WHAT kind of powers you got, you can’t just fly away from all your problems!

I know what you are thinking at this particular moment in time.

“I’m confused and there’s also train robbers now?”

First of all, you should have been taking notes, and second, trains are notoriously full of treats and treasures just ripe for the taking!

And there isn’t a juicier train around than the Aurora 217!

Join us this week as we continue indulging in Josh’s grotesque fantasies with our latest group of Monster Hunters coming to grips with the fact that their simple train ride has turned into a hijacking and one of their brains is suspiciously close to being forcibly removed and fired across the cabin like a Frisbee in a hurricane!

And while it may look like their only obstacle are ravenous Husks and a few twisted individuals in animal masks, the secrets travelling with them on this journey may prove to be the bigger threat after all!

Yes, listener, there IS a lot going on, but if you stay with me, I promise you will be thoroughly entertained, or severely disappointed in Josh.

“This is why Nick should be the DM.”

Shut up.

So, get your hands up and slowly slide your brains across the floor because on this week’s heart pounding continuation of our Spring Special, you either accept the rules that are laid out in front of you or risk getting microwaved to death!

It’s the season for new beginnings. You know, where all things fresh and pure take over and there is a smell of annual renewal in the air. So why not celebrate the time of starting over by handing the reigns back to the last person on earth that should have them.

That’s right kiddos!

It’s time for another all original, home grown Josh Campaign!

I’ll call the fire department.

Join us this week as Josh drags the group kicking and screaming back into Monster of the Week as a new set of Monsters Hunters (and one returning face) are hired to investigate a potentially apocalyptic catastrophe on a mysterious cyber-train heading to the Great White North, the Aurora 217!

And while it all seems simple enough, a mysterious girl in their cabin, an overzealous trashcan, and an artificial conductor will soon show the Hunters that there are more things to be worried about then a spilled drink or a missing ticket! Things are going to get weird and when Josh is in charge, you know they are going to get weird in a hurry!

So, grab your taxidermy deer head and remember to keep your ears to yourself because on the first part of our 2021 Spring Special, there are a surprising amount of things looking to get into your skull, you best wear a helmet!

So, we've been on a hot streak lately.

First and foremost, we killed it on that Honeypot.

Second, This whole adventure with saving Jayla and discovering Brightness's secret plans.

Get outta town, it's nothing but W's!

So why not sit down with us on this week's Adventurific as the fountain of success continues to produce!

Gather round as the Company makes some solid choices with the Zemphrim's (Zhentarim's) stolen map, make the clever choice to revisit the Druid Postal Service, and totally knock it out of the park when it comes to the business with Clive Brooks!

And why not treat ourselves with a visit to everyone's favorite salesman, Pimm!?

You're welcome.

So load up your barrel and remember to state your business because on this week's prosperous episode of Adventurific, the only thing standing between here and the future is your own ineptitude!

Have you cats noticed a pattern yet?

When the Company is 100% in charge of planning and execution, its a mess and usually someone ends up dead.

When Jayla comes ups up with a plan, suddenly Skip is pretending to be her and she’s uncomfortable and Tally’s got her boobs out and everything is all over the place…

What was my point again?

Whatever…

Welcome to this week’s Adventurific!

Follow along as the Company dives head first into that sweet, sweet honeypot in an attempt to seduce the mysterious squad of Zephirum (Zhentarim) that has so foolishly fallen into our trap, like flies…to more honey.

Also while that is going on, Quint and Bob are pulling a side job that may seem like a fruitless endeavor, at least compared to the one involving Jayla bringing her best game, but may actually prove way more valuable than any of us could have ever dreamed!

There’s so much happening, It’s hard to keep up!

So, try to keep cool next to all that hay and remember not to be too eager because on this week’s voluptuous episode of Adventurific, it’s hard work being this beautiful, maybe you should try it sometime.

Alright, I’ll be the first to admit, last week got a little bit hectic.

Opinions differed and caused a mass failure in communication which in turn allowed our resident Changeling to bleed out on the dirty floor of some up and coming farmland’s only watering hole.

That’s why we were told by the bosses upstairs that in the interest of our shareholders and Josh’s ludicrously self-serving contract; it’s either we put someone in charge who can actually herd all these cats or Nick must send in those feet pictures he’s always going on about.

It's time once again for a brand new Adventurtific and this week, Jayla FINALLY stops moping and attempts to whip these sorry excuses for soldiers into something that can only vaguely be referred to as a “shape”.

Follow along as the Company is split into two equally important teams, one to continue the stake out, keeping an extra close eye out for the squad of Zephirum and the other to clean up all the messes from the previous day.

There’s a lot to do there so it’s best not waste anymore of your time and we’ll let you get to the show…

Just remember to keep a look out for any overtly tall transients and apologies best start with a admittance of wrongdoing because on this week’s episode of Adventurific, Jayla seems more fed up than she usually does…

I’d listen to her if you value your bones.

Picture this, if you will.

It’s a peaceful cool morning. The birds are chirping, the flowers is shaking off the dew from the night and on the horizon, you see a large shape.

It seems like some sort of vessel, but water is nowhere near here.

And it’s a hundred feet in the air.

You swallow that last sip of coffee.

Your day is about to get a WHOLE lot more interesting.

Welcome to this week’s Adventurific where the quaint village of Daggerford attempts to weather a storm called “The Idiots from The Coal Chute Busting into their Once Quiet Town and Raising One Hell of a Stupor”!

Join us as the Company breaks new ground in this once peaceful farming community by breaking laws (Skip), breaking social norms (Also Skip), and most importantly, breaking tables by putting Halflings through them (Won’t spoil it, but also Skip) and by the end of this episode, someone is going to need some SERIOUS medical attention…

Just guess who.

So, grab a fresh flyer and remember to put on your best face because on this week’s tension filled episode of Adventurific, there’s some hands to be thrown, lines to be crossed, and the one left lying in his own blood probably had it coming anyway.