Adventurific

I want to be serious for a moment. We joke around a lot, but in this episode of the Adventurific Radio Hour we tackle a very serious problem that some may find disturbing or unpleasant; the fact that Mucktup may actually be the most qualified person to captain the good ship Nostrovia! I know it sounds insane, but with C.L.A.N.K., Duke, and the rebellious staff of the Cardigan Club fighting off wave after wave of the undead, Slasher continuing her vow of silence, and Kenntucky failing to resist the urge to fall back into the arms of sweet lady Space Cocaine, it’ll be up to everyone’s favorite franken-rodent to stop the onslaught of tentacle controlled freaks and get everyone off the planet alive and as hard as Muck may try, saving everyone may not be as easy as Captain Spaceship made it out to be! So, set out some premium cat food and aim for the head, because this week on Adventurific, we break rule number one and get high off our own supply!

What you are about to listen to is real. The unwilling participants are not actors. They are the actual martyrs who have already either been wrapped up in some ridiculous assassination attempt or been forced to appear in a Kangaroo Kourt with two very biased sides. Both parties in the suit have “agreed” to appear before our fair but completely unqualified judge and have their beefs settled here, in our forum: The Adventurific Radio Hour… Court. Come along this week as Duke and CLANK make a mockery of the justice system, Muck goes to his safe place, and Kenntucky takes a stab at firing a bigger gun than he’s use to, and Slasher is suspiciously quiet…wonder what she’s up to? So grab yourself a big tall glass of Premium Catfood and lower the BAR considerably because this week on Adventurific, we are taking the phrase “Contempt of Court” to a whole new level!

It’s never a good sign when your ex-mating partner vomits up 31,883 incubated eggs onto your ArboCo Double Sided Glorbing Pad and half of them are missing your visually distinctive skull horn, but totally have your best friend Gintax’s lower thorax breathing maw, and it gets even more embarrassing when you are required to re-breed them with no say from the ArboCo Population and Fecundity Control Module! Anywho, forget all those obvious signs of your infertility, because it’s time again for another thrilling episode of the Adventurific Radio Hour! This week, per usual, things take a turbulent turn when Duke and CLANK find themselves on the opposite side of the judiciary bench, Slasher does a great job, but gets way too cocky, Mucktup discovers what lies beneath the depths of the lake, and Kenntucky ignores all semblance of common sense and explores the mysterious hatch all by his lonesome! What will become of our “heroes” now that we have almost completely separated the entire party, and most importantly, who will come out on top of the murder leaderboard?! You best finish your prayers and call your lawyer because things are only getting more outrageous from here, this week on Adventurific!

Now that all that holiday nonsense has been wrapped up, its now time to head back into the cosmos and catch up with the intrepid morons of the great ship Nostrovia! After narrowly surviving a brutal interrogation with Herringbone, Duke and CLANK proceed in the next step to eliminate the rest of the Silver Spooners, who by the way, are all conveniently tied up in the basement! And on the other side of the map, Slasher, Muck and Kenntucky continue their own brand of bloodshed in the Great Hunt but in order to maintain their top position on the leader board, they will have to contend with something big lurking beneath the waves of a mysterious lake in the middle of the battlefield! It’s an episode filled with moral dilemmas, questionable life choices, and the worst lasso job this side of the Quatraian Galaxy, so grab the rope and leave your conscience at the door, this week Adventurific is slipping into the “gray area”!

Okay, listen. If you're naughty around Santa Claus, all it usually gets you is a chunk of reliable fuel and a barometer on how far you can push your luck next year. But when the Krampus is involved… your ass is getting beat. Hard. Come along with us on our Christmas finale as the Gang from Moody River steps up to the greatest threat to Holiday Cheer and go toe to toe with the Holiday Devil itself! Will they survive the night and bring the cheer back to their small town or is all they’re getting this year is a one way trip to a popper’s grave?! Check your privilege and prepare to be dazzled, because this week on Adventurific, we are rolling strong and plucking those heart strings!

It all started as a simple day off of school; grab some sleep, play outside, check out the angry mob at the mall, but things quickly took a turn for the festively obscure when an elf from a magical protection agency arrives and calls upon Moody River’s favorite gang of miscreants to put aside their childish winter games and fight for the future of Christmas itself! The Gang has been recruited to look tough and stand guard during a local skinflint’s personal Christmas Carol, but while everything seems to be going according to old Charlie’s classic tale, things will soon take a turn for the violent and only get more deadly from there! However, even equipped with the greatest tech this side of the North Pole, not everyone involved will walk away from this yuletide adventure with their Holly Jolly Spirit intact! So grab a fresh steaming cup of Hot Choco and take a big ol’ sip way too soon because this week Adventurific is taking the cheap shot and totally not rolling a one!

Gather up the children and put those stupid 90’s babies to bed because its Christmas time once again and we’ve got no time for anyone too young to remember "Trancers"! Heavy snow has completely blanketed the small town of Moody River, MN and our local group of rambunctious ne’er do wells have the whole day off of school to get up to some small town holiday hijinks. But when a greedy businessman threatens to scrooge up their good time, the Gang must figure out a way to spread some Christmas cheer and save the greatest day of their young lives! However, as you might know, Moody River always has some strange secrets hidden in the shadows and what will soon unfold for these kids will take everything they know about Christmas and turn it on it’s over commercialized head! So grab your piss filled snowball and shake to develop because tis the season and Adventurific is going all White Elephant on this Yuletide bitch!

While the Forest continues to run red with the blood of the Skittermanders, back at the Mansion things aren’t fairing much better! C.L.A.N.K. and Duke (and C.L.A.N.K.’s arm candy Mike) have already started systematically removing guests from this plane of existence, but when their eagerness for butchery leads to a full blown in-house investigation, it’s up to Duke to step up, hide the true killer’s identity, and conclude their goal of taking home the homicidal gold! It’s going to be one hell of an investigation, especially when there is a much more qualified detective and he’s already sniffing something fishy when it comes to this whole mess! So grab your sunglasses and get your one liners ready because this week, Adventurific tries to get away with murder!

The fight is heating up over at the hunt and that’s totally NOT a stupid Solarian pun! Join us this week as Slasher, Mucktup, and Kenntucky continue the slaughter with hopes of coming out on top as the greatest hunters out of all these rich assholes! However, things are about to take a strange turn as Platinum Squad make their way to the forest, and come to find that what lies in the trees may be more ruthless than any one of our heroes could have ever imagined! Will they survive the mysterious onslaught in the forest or has their time at the top of the leaderboard come to a bloody end?! Things are about to go critical; so grab your Star Knife and prepare for total domination, this week on Adventurific!

Think back to a time of being a young arthropod in a strange new Learning Annex and it’s time to be paired up with your fellow knowledge collectors for the annual Re-Culling Ceremony, and by the grace of Ibra, you get paired with your secret crush! It’s a magical moment; a chance to bond, a chance to grow closer, and maybe, if the stars align, you’ll be chosen to house her eggs inside your exoskeleton before they birth violently from your head! This week’s episode of the Adventurific Radio Hour is a lot like that, only with CLANK, the Ice Queen, wrapped into a strange game of Hide and Seek with a fellow bodyguard who is just not getting the message! Meanwhile, Duke continues to attempt to rally the Ysoki servants into a revolution, but being Duke, he seems to be having less luck than CLANK’s bodyguard friend! Will CLANK and Duke manage to put their trivial personal feelings aside and accomplish their respective goals or is this entire mission dead in the water? Remember to lead with the tongue and twist the clasps with your thumb and pointer, because this week on Adventurific, things are getting hot, heavy, and deadly!