Advice from the Cheerbrarian

I'm perplexed to admit to you that I, your cheerbrarian, am a runner. It's an activity that I used to absolutely detest that I've taken up in the past few years and it has brought a lot of satisfaction and happiness to my life.

Today myself and a shiny new co-host are going to talk about running and how it can be not as terrible as you may think. Come to hear what we think about running, stay for our hilarious runnng stories where things go quite wrong.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - Charles and I talked about our very disparate journeys to running, the good, the bad, and the coming in last in a 5K.

We dispel some runner myths and gave practical tips on how to get out there and give yourself a chance to learn to like running or any other physical activity. Remember, it may be an aquired taste.

THE BOOKS:

Charles is Liking - Raven Song by TJ Klune and A Sorceress Comes to Call by T.Kingfisher.

Charles' Must Reads - The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd and Brenda is a Sheep by Morag Hood, for your favorite toddler.

Recommended for Charles - The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and The Madd Addam trilogy by Margaret Atwood, first book, Oryx and Crake

Unrequired Reading - Bravey by Alexi Pappas

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This week I'm switching gears from what I had intended to record (the final installment in my Power of Yes series, which will still come soon) to talk about something that I'm struggling with daily at the moment: managing uncertainty.

Whether like me you're in a bout of unemployment (blech) or you're moving (ack) having relationship woes (!!) or simply know someone else going through it, my advice will help you to keep your head above water when you feel the waves of uncertainty trying to pull you under.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - I've got five things to say that if you try them will help (and I saying this for myself, just as much as I say them for you!) (1) Ask for help, (2) Hold tight to routine (but save room for flexibility), (3) Celebrate small wins, and (4) Get outside. And most importantly, (5) remember that even if it's hard to believe, this too shall pass.

Unrequired Reading - When you are looking to light a fire to be inspired, read Untamed by Glennon Doyle. When you just need something fun to enjoy and distract, pick up Ink blood Sister Scribe by Emma Torzs

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I really like trying new things, but I know that for a lot of people shaking it up and pushing beyond what you're used to can feel very daunting, so today I wanted to unpack the what, why and how of getting outside your comfort zone.

I have invited a new co-host to the virtual studio, someone who is a complete opposite to me, so we talk about the disparity of our "zone" sizes and how we have pushed past them.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - LaToya and I discuss where the term came from, and how going outside your comfort zone can increase performance. We share some successes (PhD!) and difficulties (naked spa and spare ribs?!) we have had in this arena of life.

I dropped a few ideas for small changes you can make to expand your horizons. This isn't a fake it til you make it situation, it's straight up faking it non-stop, because you might not ever get to a place where it feels comfortable in the moment, but I guarantee you and your zone will grow.

THE BOOKS:

LaToya is Liking - The Bridgerton Series by Julia Quinn

LaToya's Must Read - The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

Recommended for LaToya - The Witch Elm by Tana French (as also recommended by Stephen King)

Unrequired Reading - A Man Called Ove by Frederick Backman

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This week we are gonna kick off a new series wherein I have identified 3 things you should say YES to that have the power to make your life better. Today we are going to talk about how you can work to be the best at being the worst. (Record scratch). Don't worry, it'll all make sense soon.

I explain the origin of this reframe, gleaned from the famous philosopher Chandler Bing, which helps me to chip away at judging myself for limitations. Sure, being self-critical comes quite easily, but why not find a way to celebrate the flaws that make you unique?

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - I encourage you to identify one thing you are impressively bad at to learn to celebrate, rather than lament the things you are bad at. And I would love if you reached out on social media to tell me what you're the best/worst at!

Unrequired Reading -  Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

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For just over a decade I have been a stepparent and it is the most rewarding and challenging role I never knew I'd fill. Today, I explore what it means to walk the world as a step-parent and what you can do to support the step-parents in your life and social circle. (And I've brought back a guest who also fills those shoes).

Together we share our bumbling and stumbling roads to becoming “bonus moms.” Come for the laugh-out-loud moments and “what we wish we had known,” stay for some solid ranting about the portrayals of step mom’s in popular culture.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - The road to successful step-parenting is paved with awkwardness. Step-parenting requires a wealth of patience: it doesn't necessarily get any easier, but you will grow into it. For everyone who wants to know how to support someone who is a stepparent: even if you don't understand you can always listen.

THE BOOKS:

Unrequired Reading - The Wishing Game by Meg Shaffer which is really about an adoptive mom, not a step mom, but we will take what we can get.

This week we are gonna turn our gaze firmly inward as we think about who we are when no one is looking, and how we can perhaps find some of the recognition we are craving within ourselves. 

Today we take a peek under the Cheerbrarian hood and share an embarrassing story about an unquenchable thirst for validation. And you can ask yourself how YOU would behave in the same scenario. Is it enough to have done a good deed? Or do you need some sweet sweet praise for a job well done?

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - We dug into the power and daunting nature of solitude as we thought about who we are when no one is looking. (And sometimes, who that is is someone who has a hunger for external validation and should learn how to be their own cheerleader. But knowing is half the battle.)

Self care is a buzzy concept, but at its core it's about knowing and valuing yourself. Step 1: Know thyself. Step 2: Identify what your self needs. Step 3: Give that to yourself. It’s as simple (and complicated) as that. Challenge: find a way this week to give yourself a little TLC.

Unrequired Reading - An Unnecessary Woman by Rabih Alameddine 

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I've recently begun a fun-sploration wherein I try to find more fun in my daily life, so today I'm excited to do some exploration of fun and hobbies with a co-host who's cracked the code on how to find hobbies you really enjoy. Together we'll break it down and I'll share a dirty secret or two about my hobby habits.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - If you're in the market for a new hobby, start small and don't be afraid to be bad at it, or even quit if you aren't having any fun. Embrace the journey: don't worry about the final output or social media likes of a hobby.Look for an activity that taps into "true fun," i.e. you have flow, connectivity, and playfulness.

Don't know where to start? Think of 3 times in your life that you remember really having fun and find the connective threads.

THE BOOKS:

Zoe is Liking - Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

Recommended for Zoe - The Searcher by Tana French

Unrequired Reading - For more ideas about how to find hobbies, check out Catherine Price's The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again. For some good ol' fashioned reading fun, pick-up Richard Osman's The Thursday Murder Club book and series.

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Compliments make you break out in a sweat? Stumble over trying to pay someone a kind word? I've got you with a few key ideas.Together we unpack that weird good/bad feeling of receiving a compliment and learn how to do so with a bit more grace. Plus we break down how to give a quality compliment that'll make someones day.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - Resist the pull of deflection and acknowledge a compliment with a simple "thank you." Because "thank you" is a complete sentence. Want to give a good compliment? Make sure you are either praising someone's choices or actions, and let's all stay away from commenting on bodies, amiright?

Unrequired Reading - The Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love by Jill Conner Browne

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This week it's all about birthdays! Mine is coming up soon and I looove celebrating it, but I know birthdays can be super complicated.

Learn how to navigate birthdays and not fall into the trap of getting stuck pleasing others or placing secret expectations on the people in your life. (Also, if you're feeling uninspired for how to celebrate, I've got just the ideas for you!)

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - It is okay to do whatever YOU want for your birhtday. Well-meaning people in your life trying to force you into birthday fun? Be okay with advocating for yourself. Really want a cool plan for your adult birthday? You gotta get involved! Plan it yourself or enlist help...but you have to be willing to discuss your expectations.

Unrequired Reading - Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore, 100 Years: Wisdom from Famous Writers on Every Year of Your Life by Joshua Prager, and Lies and Weddings by Kevin Kwan

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The new school year is upon us: time for the kiddos to get unblemished school supplies, new teachers, and a fresh start. Meanwhile, we are in the same ol' same ol' adult ruts. Well not this year!

It's another co-hosted week and Amelia (Hi Amelia!) is with me in the virtual studio to share her experiences and ideas on all things work. Today we embrace new traditions and find ways to claim some of that shiny new school year energy and apply it to the workplace, to give a stale working life that new job smell.

IN THIS EPISODE:

Unsolicited Advice - Sprinkle back to school energy on your job by examining the 3 R's of Labor Habits: Routine, Relationships and Re-Organization. Be mindful about difficult conversations and ask yourself, "Why would a reasonable person do x?" We also suggested you make a mood boosting playlist, or you can borrow my 16 Minute Mood Boost Playlist, guaranteed to help you shake off the grumps.

THE BOOKS:

Recommended by Amelia: Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver

Recommended for Amelia: - An Easy Death (Gunnie Rose #1) by Charlaine Harris and Lone Women by Victor LaValle

Unrequired Reading - To add to your work toolkit, No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work by Liz and Mollie and for something charming when the work of work is getting you down, pick up House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

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