Advice Not Given

Join us on a journey into the depths of the Enneagram 5 mind on today's conversation about The Observer. Co-host, Kellie, and contributor, Lala, provide insight on what it's like to take up residence in the thinking center. 

The Observer, or Investigator, needs to perceive. They are objective, rational, and have a lust for acquiring knowledge. They fear being incompetent and avoid depending on others. Fives can withdraw from social interaction and often escape to their minds. In relationships, they can seem detached and are often mis-understood due to their analytical nature. It takes a lot of energy (that they so desperately try to conserve) to get in touch with their feelings. Healthy Fives are calm in a crisis, capable of true neutrality in a conflict, and are fantastic confidants.

Just in case you may have missed some of our other discussions or want to refresh your memory, check out this list of episodes: 

• The Enneagram (overview)
• Enneagram and Relationships (w/ Sarajane Case)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course audio files (Patreon)

Prefer to read? Here are a few places to get started:

• Recommended Reading (all the books we love)
• "What is the Enneagram" (Legacy Vol. II, article)
• Milspo Snapshots (Nine Types-free download)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course workbook (digital download)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

Ready for the most special unicorn type of all time?? Well, it's the Four, but don't tell them there are more than one of them! Jk. We love our Individualists!

The Romantic, or Individualist, needs to be special. They’re in touch with ALL the feels and have an impressive emotional range. They can be melancholic and moody, and their basic fear is of being perceived as ordinary. Fours are creative and uber-expressive. In relationships, they can be melodramatic and high-maintenance, but also incredibly empathic and comfortable dealing with hard stuff. If you need someone just to sit and hold space for you, call a healthy Four.

Just in case you may have missed some of our other discussions or want to refresh your memory, check out this list of episodes: 

• The Enneagram (overview)
• Enneagram and Relationships (w/ Sarajane Case)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course audio files (Patreon)

Prefer to read? Here are a few places to get started:

• Recommended Reading (all the books we love)
• "What is the Enneagram" (Legacy Vol. II, article)
• Milspo Snapshots (Nine Types-free download)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course workbook (digital download)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

Today we're going to do the BEST job of explaining the Enneagram Three... Or at least we would if either of us were type three. Listen in to insights from our resident THREE, Jessica Bertsch of Powerhouse Planning.

The Achiever, or Performer, needs to succeed. They’re charismatic, image-conscious, and highly driven. They seek admiration and acceptance and can paint themselves with any brush to pull it off. They avoid failure at all costs, and fear being exposed as a fraud. Threes seek undemanding relationships, and tend to do feelings rather than feel them. Healthy Threes selflessly accomplish amazing things, are highly optimistic, and support others in pursuit of their goals.

Just in case you may have missed some of our other discussions or want to refresh your memory, check out this list of episodes: 

• The Enneagram (overview)
• Enneagram and Relationships (w/ Sarajane Case)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course audio files (Patreon)

Prefer to read? Here are a few places to get started:

• Recommended Reading (all the books we love)
• "What is the Enneagram" (Legacy Vol. II, article)
• Milspo Snapshots (Nine Types-free download)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course workbook (digital download)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

"I get by with a little help from my friends!" Don't we all? Well, that's exactly what we're talking about today - the Helper.

The Helper needs to be needed. They care deeply and have the heart to help. Twos can instinctively identify and provide comfort to those in need, but sometimes their generosity can be self-serving. Maintaining and recognizing healthy boundaries can be a challenge for Twos in a relationship, and they often avoid acknowledging their own needs. Healthy Twos are loving, warm, and make wonderful friends.

Just in case you may have missed some of our other discussions or want to refresh your memory, check out this list of episodes: 

• The Enneagram (overview)
• Enneagram and Relationships
• Enneagram and Identity
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course audio files (Patreon)

Prefer to read? Here are a few places to get started:

• Recommended Reading (all the books we love)
• "What is the Enneagram" (Legacy Vol. II, article)
• Milspo Snapshots (Nine Types-free download)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course workbook (digital download)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

We're kicking off our Enneagram Summer of Self-Awareness with a conversation about Reformers and our friend Kim's insights about what it's like to live life dominant in Type One.

The core motivation, or need, for an Enneagram Type One is to be perfect. Idealistic, ethical, and self-controlled, Ones are constantly looking to improve or “set-to-rights” their surroundings. They are sometimes seen as hypercritical and fixated and seek to avoid fault or blame. Relationships are difficult when they resist the vulnerability essential for intimacy. Criticism is unbearable for Ones, and the fear of failure can be paralyzing. In health, they are responsible, dependable, methodical, and they can truly make the world a better place.

Mentions

• Brené Brown's interview with Chris Heuertz
• Marilyn Vancil's Self to Lose, Self to Find

Just in case you may have missed some of our other discussions or want to refresh your memory, check out this list of episodes: 

• The Enneagram (overview)
• Enneagram and Relationships (w/ Sarajane Case)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course audio files (Patreon)

Prefer to read? Here are a few places to get started:

• Recommended Reading (all the books we love)
• "What is the Enneagram" (Legacy Vol. II, article)
• Milspo Snapshots (Nine Types-free download)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course workbook (digital download)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

Buckle up for a trip down the self-awareness highway! This summer we're launching a stay-cation of discovery of our inner landscapes using the Enneagram of Personality. Over the course of the next nine weeks, we'll introduce listeners of each type, and dive a little deeper into what makes us tick. 

This particular series will be geared toward anyone with a curious interest in the system all the way to those who have a good grasp on their numbers. Also, what we say to folks who are reticent to embracing the Enneagram as a self-discovery tool (and we swear it's compassionate!). 

Just in case you may have missed some of our other discussions or want to refresh your memory, check out this list of episodes: 

• The Enneagram (overview)
• Enneagram and Relationships (w/ Sarajane Case)
• Enneagram and Identity (w/ Chris Heuertz)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course audio files (Patreon)

Prefer to read? Here are a few places to get started:

•  Recommended Reading (all the books we love)
• "What is the Enneagram" (Legacy Vol. II, article)
• Milspo Snapshots (Nine Types-free download)
• Becoming Your Own Guru e-course workbook (digital download)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

We took a pause this week to listen, engage, and evaluate the ways in which our platform and podcast can stand in solidarity with the Black community, and are sharing those commitments with you today. We also invite you, listeners, to explore your own hearts to confront bias, challenge your own comfortable silence, stand with us as we affirm that Black Lives Matter. 

• I am the Problem by Kellie Artis
• Anti-Racism Resources
• 75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice
• The Diversity Movement
• Be the Bridge to Racial Unity

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

Mindfulness with Money

This week we are joined by The Military Money Expert, Lacey Langford and our convo is all about the benjamins. And yes, please brace yourselves for bad hip hop puns. Why do we have such a personal attachment to our financial situations? Why is there such a stigma around money? And what can we do better? All this and more on this episode of Advice Not Given. 

Mentions: 

• Financial Peace University (FPU)
• Money and Happiness Threshold ($105K)
• Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems
• “Paychecks” episode of ANG
• Financial Readiness (ACS)
• Army Emergency Relief
• VA Cracks Down on GI Bill Installments
•  Special Guest: Lacey Langford, The Military Money Expert
• Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) 
• Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI)
• Compound Interest
• The Military Money Show (Lacey’s podcast)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

What can the Enneagram teach us as military spouses about our struggle with a sense of lost identity, coping with shifting environments and stress, navigating transitions? A lot, actually. Author, speaker, teacher, and mentor, Chris Heuertz joins the podcast for an entrancing conversation about the Enneagram.

We also get a preview to new concepts and practices appearing in his new book, The Enneagram of Belonging: A Compassionate Journey of Self-Acceptance. Learn more about the ABC's - Affirmations we need to make, Beliefs we have to correct, and Confessions that free us - of each type (you know we love some acronyms!). The simplicity of this framework actually makes this complex system so graspable. Listen in and see what you think!

Mentions: 

• The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth
• The Enneagram of Belonging: A Compassionate Journey of Self-Acceptance
• Gravity: a Center for Contemplative Activism 
• The Enneagram Mapmakers (Chris’s podcast)
• Claudio Naranjo
• Michael J. Goldberg, Travels with Odysseus
• Since the in-person workshops he mentioned are on hold, Chris is offering a livestream Enneagram workshop (and yes, Kellie is already registered - join in!). 

Find Chris Heuretz online here

Chris spent nearly three decades in community organizing, international humanitarian work, and anti-human trafficking efforts, and was first introduced to the Enneagram in the slums of Cambodia. Since then he has trained under some of the great living Enneagram masters, and now teaches the Enneagram in workshops around the world as an International Enneagram Association Accredited Professional. Host of the Enneagram Mapmakers podcast, Chris is also featured in the new documentary NINE: The Enneagram Documentary, a journey across America to introduce the essence of the nine profile types. He is the author of seven books, including the award-winning bestseller The Sacred Enneagram and his latest work The Enneagram of Belonging; both are compassionate guides for those who want to incorporate personal growth and development with their Enneagram type. Chris and Phileena, and their puppy Basil, live in Omaha. You can follow Chris’ work at gravitycenter.com  and chrisheuertz.com.

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)

Advice Not Given “Intolerance of Uncertainty”

Advice Not Given Interview with Kelsy Timas

Facebook Will Now Offer to Hide Your Exes from You

“Closing the Restaurant That Was My Life for 20 Years” (NYT Daily)

Advice Not Given Interview with Tara Bremer

Want to hear the content of our Becoming Your Own Guru Course? Join us on Patreon for all access!

Have something to say about your Enneagram type for our upcoming Summer of Self-Awareness? Record a short voice memo and email us at [email protected] or [email protected] 

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/milspogurus)