Haven!

Affair-Proofing Your Marriage


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Affair-proofing your marriage... hefty topic.

I don't think people go into their marriage thinking "one day I'm going to screw this all up, break any ounce of trust we built, and shatter my spouse's heart" - and yet, it happens.

Aaron & I have seen it enough times to develop a very healthy fear of it.

We've adapted the mindset of "it can happen to anyone, even us" and have adapted our behaviors accordingly.

Some highlights we talk about in this episode:

  • It's not just defense, it's offense
  • Set your boundaries up of what you will/won't do in advance
  • Gauge your own satisfaction level
  • What is your need / lack either in partnership or a gaping hole in yourself?
  • Brokenness causes affairs, not a lack of sex - so where am I broken?
  • Ultimately a heart issue - we can have all the protocols but if you want to hide from me, you will. It’s your heart that needs to be addressed.

  • It would be so much easier to be superhuman and never give anyone else a second glance.

    Plus it can feel so uncomfortable to have these types of conversations with your partner because saying the truth can hurt their feelings - but, wouldn't you rather give them the opportunity to actually fully know you vs just the parts of them you deem "acceptable"?

    Remove shame by bringing your brokenness into the light and you may just find that it loses its power when you do that too.

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