In this twelfth episode of our Five Questions series, a Kenyan man in the diaspora reflects on masculinity through the lenses of leadership, emotional growth, family responsibility, and self-understanding. Raised in a female-dominated household without a father figure, he explains how masculinity for him became rooted in the ability to lead, provide, and protect — not only financially, but emotionally, physically, and spiritually. The conversation explores how marriage counselling challenged inherited ideas about masculinity, helping him become more aware of his emotions, communication, and relationships. He discusses tensions between traditional African expectations of men and more contemporary understandings of vulnerability, affection, and emotional openness. Grounded in personal experience, this episode reflects on masculinity beyond money, status, or physical strength, arguing instead for self-awareness, emotional maturity, and responsibility.

In the eleventh episode of our Five Questions series, a South African woman reflects on masculinity through the lens of upbringing, balance, and changing social expectations. She traces her understanding back to a traditional household, where clearly defined roles often masked unequal realities, particularly for women managing both domestic and economic responsibilities. From this, she challenges the idea of “50/50,” arguing that true balance depends on how roles are lived, not how they are described.

Drawing on her experience of moving from the Vaal region to Johannesburg, she highlights the contrast between community-based traditions and the demands of urban life, in which both men and women navigate shifting expectations. She also explores how inherited beliefs, shaped by history and survival, continue to influence how masculinity and femininity are expressed today.

Her reflections raise direct questions about responsibility, balance, and the need for self-awareness, while closing with a clear message: strength without control and care is not masculinity, but harm.

In this tenth episode of our Five Questions series, a Kenyan man reflects on masculinity through the lens of identity, cultural exposure, and lived experience. He defines masculinity as being comfortable with one’s role, principles, and responsibilities as a man, shaped over time through both personal upbringing and observations across different African contexts. Drawing on experiences in countries such as Botswana and Zambia, he challenges assumptions about traditional male roles, particularly around work, responsibility, and social behaviour.

The conversation explores how masculinity is evolving, with particular attention to the perceived tension between traditional expectations and contemporary societal shifts. He reflects on how changing narratives—especially in relation to gender discourse—have influenced men's understanding of their place within families and communities, sometimes creating uncertainty about responsibility and leadership.

Family remains central throughout the discussion. The Kenyan man highlights the role of fathers in shaping male identity, emphasising the importance of presence, shared activities, and consistent guidance. He contrasts this with modern parenting dynamics, where shifting roles can reduce direct male influence in a boy’s development. Across cultural contexts, he also notes patterns of male-led decision-making within families, while acknowledging the role of consultation and collective input.

Grounded in lived experience, this episode frames masculinity not as performative or loud, but as something expressed through small, consistent actions—particularly in leadership, responsibility, and everyday conduct.

In this ninth episode of our Five Questions series, a Kenyan man reflects on masculinity through the lens of responsibility, leadership, and lived experience. He traces his understanding back to his father, particularly a moment of financial transition that revealed the weight of long-term thinking and transparency within the family. From there, the conversation expands into how masculinity is shaped not just within the household, but across communities and generations. The Kenyan man discusses tensions between traditional and contemporary expectations, shifting approaches to discipline, and the growing pressures facing African men today—from economic strain to social expectations. Grounded in personal experience, this episode offers a perspective on resilience, responsibility, and the need for support systems in a changing environment.

In this episode of African Men Speak, we explore the historical foundations of African masculinities through a Namibian lens, focusing on the Damara and Nama communities. 

Drawing on research into gender-based violence and queer femininity, this conversation examines how pre-colonial societies organised gender roles in ways that were often fluid, functional, and context-driven — rather than rigid or binary. We then trace how colonial rule, particularly under German and South African administrations, reshaped these systems. Victorian gender norms, Christianity, and colonial law introduced more fixed ideas of masculinity and femininity, criminalised same-sex relationships, and reinforced hetero-patriarchal structures that continue to influence society today. 

The discussion also looks at:

• The role of religion and education in shaping gender norms
• Differences between urban and rural experiences of masculinity
• Regional contrasts across Africa — including legal progress and regression
• Cultural reflections through literature, including Things Fall Apart 

This episode situates masculinity within history, language, and power — not as a fixed identity, but as something shaped and reshaped over time.

Guest: Jermine April is a Namibian researcher, research consultant, and entrepreneur whose work focuses on African masculinities, gender-based violence, and the historical legacies of colonialism. Her research explores how power, gender, and violence are shaped by history and social structures.

In the eighth episode of our Five Questions series, a female voice working across humanitarian contexts reflects on masculinity as something that must evolve beyond control, silence, and rigid gender roles. She challenges traditional expectations that limit men's emotional expression, arguing instead for vulnerability, self-awareness, and shared responsibility in relationships and family life. Drawing on both personal experience and observation, she highlights the growing need for mental health support and safe spaces where men can speak openly. Her reflections push toward a redefinition of strength—one grounded not in dominance, but in emotional intelligence, inclusion, and the courage to be fully human.

In the seventh episode of our Five Questions series, a Kenyan man in the diaspora reflects on how his understanding of masculinity has shifted from rigid, traditional expectations shaped in childhood to a more balanced approach that includes openness, vulnerability, and emotional awareness. Drawing from his Luo background, he discusses how cultural norms are evolving across generations, influenced by modern life and global exposure. He emphasizes the importance of dialogue among men, the need to challenge inherited ideas, and the value of support systems—reminding listeners that while expectations remain high, navigating life as a man should not be done in isolation.

In this episode of exploring African masculinity, we ask a fundamental question: how do we think about it? 

This episode introduces key ideas and frameworks that shape how masculinity is understood — from hegemonic masculinity to plural masculinities — and why these tools matter when navigating conversations about identity, culture, and change. 

Rather than offering answers, this episode focuses on building a way of thinking — one that helps us question assumptions, recognise patterns, and better understand the forces shaping masculinity across African contexts. 

Key themes: 

• What masculinity is (and isn’t)
• Why theory matters
• The influence of culture, history, and power
• How ideas about masculinity are shaped and circulated 

As we move through the season, two questions will guide the conversation: 

1. What do we lose when we forget our own histories of masculinity?
2. What would change look like if it was built from African ways of being men? 

📚 References & Further Reading:

• Connell, R.W. & Messerschmidt, J.W. (2005) – Hegemonic Masculinity (Gender & Society)
• Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí – The Invention of Women
• Ifi Amadiume – Male Daughters, Female Husbands

African Men Speak is a long-form podcast exploring African masculinities through lived experience, history, and critical reflection. 

Subscribe for more conversations. #AfricanMasculinity #Masculinity #AfricanPodcast #GenderStudies

Recorded in August 2025, this episode features a long-form conversation with Onyango Otieno (Rixpoet) — trauma coach, writer, poet, mental health advocate, and host of the Afro-Masculinity Podcast.

We discuss Onyango’s personal journey through childhood violence, depression, and sexual abuse, and how those experiences shaped his work with men and his thinking on masculinity. The conversation explores silence, intergenerational trauma, patriarchy, feminism, and the difficulty many African men face in finding spaces where vulnerability is possible.

This is an open, reflective conversation that moves between personal experience and wider social questions, without rushing toward conclusions.

⚠️ Explicit content:

This episode includes discussion of sexual abuse, violence, mental health, and suicide.

Book recommendation:

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love — bell hooks

One year into African Men Speak, this is me reflecting on the journey so far. I look back on how I approached the work, what I actually did, what changed for me, and why the project is moving more slowly — and more deliberately — than I first imagined. 

In this monologue: 

• Why I resisted a single authoritative voice
• What slowed the project down (and why that matters)
• What I underestimated about African masculinities, research access, and scale
• Why restraint matters more than output at this stage 

African Men Speak is a long-form project exploring African masculinities through conversations, short street interviews, reading, and reflection — centred on plurality, accountability, and lived experience. 

This work needs time — and I’m finally okay with that.