Recorded in August 2025, this episode features a long-form conversation with Onyango Otieno (Rixpoet) — trauma coach, writer, poet, mental health advocate, and host of the Afro-Masculinity Podcast.

We discuss Onyango’s personal journey through childhood violence, depression, and sexual abuse, and how those experiences shaped his work with men and his thinking on masculinity. The conversation explores silence, intergenerational trauma, patriarchy, feminism, and the difficulty many African men face in finding spaces where vulnerability is possible.

This is an open, reflective conversation that moves between personal experience and wider social questions, without rushing toward conclusions.

⚠️ Explicit content:

This episode includes discussion of sexual abuse, violence, mental health, and suicide.

Book recommendation:

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love — bell hooks

One year into African Men Speak, this is me reflecting on the journey so far. I look back on how I approached the work, what I actually did, what changed for me, and why the project is moving more slowly — and more deliberately — than I first imagined. 

In this monologue: 

• Why I resisted a single authoritative voice
• What slowed the project down (and why that matters)
• What I underestimated about African masculinities, research access, and scale
• Why restraint matters more than output at this stage 

African Men Speak is a long-form project exploring African masculinities through conversations, short street interviews, reading, and reflection — centred on plurality, accountability, and lived experience. 

This work needs time — and I’m finally okay with that.

In this episode, we talk about Greg's personal journey across multiple countries, highlighting his morning routine, career growth, and family life. They explore topics such as adapting to new environments, multicultural parenting, marriage responsibilities, and the importance of communication and perspective-taking in relationships. We also discuss negotiation, friendship dynamics, and redefining legacy through success and happiness.

In the sixth episode of our Five Questions series, a Kenyan man shares his views on masculinity, shaped by both traditional roles and modern realities. He reflects on the pressures African men face today — from navigating relationships with increasingly independent women to reconciling personal values with societal change. The man argues that while mentorship and education are essential tools for young men, maintaining strength and masculine clarity in relationships is equally important. His reflections, both personal and pointed, raise uncomfortable but necessary questions about how gender roles evolve — and who gets to define them.

In the fifth episode of our Five Questions series, a Kenyan woman reflects on shifting perceptions of masculinity within her community. She challenges the long-standing expectation that men must always appear strong and emotionless, instead advocating for a more human, supportive approach. By encouraging men to take time for themselves, seek help, and express vulnerability, her perspective adds to a growing call for a redefinition of masculinity that values emotional openness alongside responsibility.

In the fourth Five Questions conversation, a Zimbabwean woman reflects on traditional gender roles, racial identity, and the struggles of the coloured community in Southern Africa. She speaks about the breakdown of masculinity since the 1990s from her perspective, the challenges men face in expressing vulnerability, and how silence often leads to unhealthy coping. From the importance of mentorship and extended family guidance to the need for platforms where men can openly share, she emphasises that masculinity is ultimately a personal journey rooted in moral foundations.

In the third instalment of our Five Questions series, a self-described soft-spoken Senegalese man who is not prone to aggression shares his perspectives on the dichotomy of growing up on two continents, where he has experienced different cultures and, by extension, different types and views of masculinity. He sees each generation has to go through this discourse by pushing the boundaries of what is normal (traditional), and it all depends on who is pushing the envelope. 

In the second of our Five Questions series, a Ugandan Man working in the diaspora speaks about how he sees contemporary views of masculinity, and how they differ with traditional views and also on the lessons he wishes to pass onto his sons despite them being halfway across the world. 

In the first of our Five Questions series, a Kenyan man reflects on how parenting, masculinity, and responsibility have shifted across generations. He contrasts his upbringing with the challenges of raising children today, highlighting how community bonds have weakened and consumer culture influences modern priorities. From the pressures of being a firstborn son to questioning what it means to be a man, this conversation explores how personal reflection and honest dialogue can help men navigate identity, change, and care.

In this episode, I share why I started this podcast and my personal connection to exploring African masculinity. Growing up in Nairobi, hearing the phrase “boys don’t cry/ man up/ be a man,” and facing a personal crisis that reshaped my priorities, this episode sets the stage for the conversations ahead. I outline the journey we’ll take in Season 1, introducing the key themes, questions, and perspectives that will guide our exploration of manhood in African contexts.